


Light at the end of the tunnel

by AnnaCipactli12



Series: Ruin and Hope [2]
Category: Terminator Genisys (2015)
Genre: F/M, Original Character(s), complicated relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-04-26 18:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5016274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaCipactli12/pseuds/AnnaCipactli12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Connor waits in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike when he sees his parents moving on and having a kid of their own. Why is that fate always works against him? He played by the rulers. He was the savior of mankind, he did everything that fate asked of him, and yet he got screwed. And this kid sister of his, gets everything. What's wrong with this picture? John wonders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John was one of those people that never gave up, but he was also one of those people who admitted to himself all the wrongs that he did and always tried to look for a way to right all his wrongs. When he sent Kyle back, he thought that maybe, just maybe there was a vain sense of hope within this twisted cruel jester called ‘fate’ that he could survive and the future could be different –that he could have what he always lacked –a father. But he was wrong. The person who got to have a father was Janet, Janet Herman Elton.

John smiled, it was a clever disguise from his mother, name the brat after him, to replace the son they’d lost and their pet-machine killed, and after the musician she loved and Kyle’s mother’s maiden name.

John wasn’t going to let that girl live happily ever after. If his parents believed that they had won, they had clearly not been paying attention to this fairy tale, for in this world all of the fairy tales they told kids were true, except that they didn’t end with the fair knight rescuing the maiden or the warrior girl gutting the dragon. In this fairy tale, he was the cat and they were the mice and his little sister was his play thing.

 _How easy it would be to kill her._ He mused. She was playing with her cat. How different she was from him. Same face, same eyes, her hair was different thought. Dark brown, almost black, like their father’s. John loved dogs while she loved cats. She was comfortable with her looks, while he was always insecure. Many girls chased him, but most of those were because he had proven himself to General Brewster, and when he became the leader of the Resistance … well that part is pretty obvious.  
Kyle trusted her and trained her, while Sarah taught her self-defense, and their pet-machine warned her about trusting strangers. And she was a fast learner –John had to give her that. Everything she said to her girlfriends were half-truths, and like their father she could be serious as she could also be awkwardly funny like their mother.

When the girl turned ten, John began to notice the strangest things (or they would be strange if he wasn’t like *this*). She would turn around before her parents or grandparents picked her up, and before they arrived, she would hide in one of the deserted classrooms and look deep into the board, focusing on the chalk and slowly, very slowly, it would levitate and start writing her thoughts.

John decided to surprise her one day. She was smart, yet naïve, and wasn’t sure what to make of him. John Connor was dead after all, and he had never been the public face of Cyberdine, so he had kept himself out of the radar. “Who are you?” But she was alert and he didn’t fault her for that. To be honest, he was proud because this made the whole thing far easier.

“I am the new principal, Eric Baum.”

“The school didn’t tell us we would have a new principal.”

“They did but your parents didn’t attend the Parent Teacher conference meeting. In fact, looking at your record they never attend. It’s a shame, the old principal, dear miss Victoria didn’t do a good job keeping track of her students, especially her most gifted ones.”

“Yeah so I am gifted, so what gives?”

“You have excelled at every subject except sports, in fact you always try to sleaze your way out of that one, and frankly my dear, I can’t have that. It’s one thing to have gifted students who think they are better than everyone else, it’s another to have them make up excuses and receive special treatment. You either attend or you don’t.”

“I can’t attend I have a condition-“

“Which according to school policy says you need a doctor’s letter to prove you are telling the truth or your parents’ signed copy. I will expect to see them tomorrow.” He said and left, smiling to himself. He knew that she wasn’t going to tell their parents. She was too proud. *That* she was like John. And besides, even if she told them, his parents weren’t stupid enough to come to a school where they might be recognized.

Even after O’Brian and others had done their best to clear their records and give them new identities (and unknown to them, John helped) some of the parents could still recognize. And just one recognition was enough to land them both in jail and their little brat in foster care . _Just like me._ It was very tempting. Seeing their daughter taken away, them kicking and screaming, especially dear old mom … And John watching in the background, drinking a good bottle of his favorite beer, enjoying the spectacle.

 _I am going to do something better._ She was their brightest jewel. A jewel so beautiful, it would make his parents go mad if something or someone took the light out of that jewel.

John smirked. _You didn’t want me for your son, now you are going to feel my wrath._


	2. A dangerous gamble

_"A monster, a monster_  
I've turned into a monster  
and it keeps getting stronger."

_~Monster by Imagine Dragons_

Today was a better day for John. He watched as the brat raised her hand at every question. She was a prodigy alright, but she was also arrogant and naïve, and she pretended that everybody liked her when in reality they couldn’t care less about another know-it-all. She was the kind of person that he would make fun of at her age. An idea came to John as he heard some of the girls talk behind her back, and plan their next prank at her. He nearly pushed his head back to bark in laughter. She was too smart for them, and the guardian was always with her after school. There was no way Janet could be made fun of so easily. The girl was naïve, but not that naïve. It was going to take more than that to bring her down.

“Mr. Collins. I was looking at your report card. You haven’t brought your parents to the school meeting. Why is that?”

“My parents are out of town-“

“We both know that’s not true.” John said, his lips twisting upwards into a smile as the fourteen year old boy looked down at his feet, ashamed of his upcoming revelation.

“My father is in jail sir, his parole has been revoked … I … I can’t bring him to the meetings.”

“Tell you what, I will give you one hell pass if you do something for me.” The boy looked up, adjusting his big glasses. How much he looks like my idiot sister, John thought. His youngest sisters were much more in tune to their surroundings, alert and less naïve. If his parents hadn’t eighty-six him, he would’ve welcomed them. They were certainly more interesting than their eldest sister. Poor Janet, sometimes he laughed out loud thinking how disappointed his parents must feel knowing that their precious jewel will never live up to the reputation of John Connor.

Serves them right. After leaving me to die.

Preferring that pet machine over him was the last straw. He had been working for four years, making sure that the girl stayed pathetic and friendless. Now it was going to be the culmination of his efforts. And his parents would realize just how wrong they were in rejecting him.

I’m going to make sure that they know who their daughter really is, how pathetic and lonely she’s turned. But more than that –John thought, his malicious smile remaining on his face- I am going to make sure that Kyle knows what it’s like to have something you love taken from you, ripped from your arms and realizing that she was never your child.

The nanites he had injected on Sarah that fateful day had done their job, ensuring that every child she and Kyle had, would be special.

If he wanted to, he could’ve killed that brat before she was born, but he didn’t have the heart to when he saw his parents arguing over baby clothes and what to name her. At first, they worried that she was going to be different, but when they looked into their eyes, they didn’t see him or Sky Net, but just an innocent child. John had picked her up when they were away and their pet machine was outside, keeping guard. The child was intrigued by her eldest brother, reaching her chubby arms at him; but all he could think of was of the many ways he’d make her pay for what their parents did.

“You hold the votes for the next prom Queen and prom King, do you not? Well, I want you to change the outcome and make sure that Miss Herman is elected Queen.”

“What? Mr. Baum I can’t. If the teachers found out-“

“No one is going to find out. Do this and you will have a clean record, and the same goes for my father.”

“Sir?”

“I am the head of Cyberdine research systems, the company has the governor on its payroll. One phone call and I can make it so your father gets his probation, you get a clean record, and on top of that, a scholarship to our campus.”

The boy couldn’t believe it. His eyes lit up. This was his chance.

“Just say yes.”

“Yes!” He said right away, jumping from his seat and shaking John’s hand and running to the school’s newspaper offices where he got to work. None of them, not even John, could have predicted the disastrous consequences of this deal. All they could think of was the joy they would get out of this little scheme.


	3. This is our moment

“Hey mom, Pops said you wanted to see me?” Sarah nodded and beckoned her daughter to sit down facing both of them.

They had been acting up the whole weekend, none of them wanted to tell them why, not even to her little sisters –and they always confided in them more.

“Janet,” her dad began “we received a call from Stan’s parents, they said that he invited you to go to the prom this week, and you said no. You know you have our permission to go.”

“Kyle-“

“No, Sarah let me handle this. We discussed this already, she can go. There’s no need to pretend anymore. This isn’t a prison. Just because your mom and are on the run, doesn’t mean you have to be too.”

Her mom rolled her eyes. Honestly, her dad tried very hard to bring up the right words but he always failed. It was up to her mom to rescue him again. “What your father means to say before his logic went AWOL-“

Kyle shot her a dirty look

“-is that you can go, just as long as you don’t bring attention to yourself or your sisters.”

“Wai, you want me to go?”

“Yeah” Her dad said with that look as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re not a prisoner kiddo.” He said lastly with a sheepish smile, hoping to encourage her. He had not been with any girls, though many had tried to get in his pants because being second in command meant they would get extra-protection. Kyle never let himself near any one of them; some of them were nice but none of them measured up to his best friend’s mother which now looking back it did sound creepy. _I must stop spending time with the twins._ They inherited Sarah’s dark sense of humor and every time he stared at them with the same dumbfounded look he gave her when she said something ‘funny’, they giggled. It didn’t help that Sarah encouraged them.

Janet was different though, he was more like him. When she was born, he didn’t want to know what sex the baby would be because deep down he still hoped they’d have John back, but when the doctor came in and told him and Pops that it was a girl, he felt slightly disappointed. That evaporated when he handed him his daughter. From that moment on, he promised to protect her and give her everything that John always wished he had. But  as the years went by, it felt as if something was missing.

The twins were fun to be around with, because they were extrovert and they always had some new prank to pull like their mom at her age, but Janet was silent and reserved. Sometimes Kyle suspected that she was bullied at school, but he never dared asked because Sarah advised him it was better that she solved problems on her own.

 _If only Sarah realized how much Janet is NOT like John._ It had been his idea to name her that way because of his friend, his son. But as she grew up, it became clear that she wasn’t like John at all. Whereas John got his looks from Sarah (except for his eyes which all his daughters seemed to get as well), Janet got her looks from Kyle. Black hair, olive skin that appeared lighter at day, and a sense of loyalty that superseded even his. He was glad that someone had asked her out. As much as he enjoyed having his family home, he was realistic. His daughter was nearly fifteen. She had to have fun, do the things other kids did at her age. Sarah didn’t agree and said that a party would only distract her from her lessons.

_“What lessons? Look at her Sarah, she’s clearly bullied and she’s not telling us because she’s afraid that they will find us.”_

_“She should because it is true.”_

_“Nobody is looking for us anymore. The way the news is now, people’s attention span is less than two seconds.”_

_“You heard what O’Brian said, they are planning to build another Cyberdine campus, if that is true, the hunt for the two terrorists that blew up the last one could start again.”_

_“You are being paranoid. That’s my job.”_

_“And you are being too lenient. I get it Kyle. You want her to have a good life, the kind that we didn’t have but she is a Connor and more importantly she is a Reese, she will never be safe.”_

His daughter’s words pulled him from his thoughts and brought him back to the present. “Dad? I was asking you if you approve of Stan Marsh?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I, I mean we. Why wouldn’t we?”

Janet didn’t say nothing. She could see how enthusiastic her parents were to say ‘yes’. Even her mom couldn’t contain her happiness at the thought of having one day all to themselves.

“He is not exactly your type of people.” She said, and they looked at each other, knowing full well what she meant.

“Look Janet, we know that you don’t like the people that we hang with,, but understand this: The things that we do, we do it so you and your sisters can be safe. If worst case scenario Sky-Net goes online, you and your sisters will be the only ones with sufficient knowledge to stop it.”

“What if we can’t? I don’t want to go to this ball so I can just make friends and then see them die.” She said, raising her voice higher than she’d intended, while falling back on her chair, her arms crossed against her chest.

“That is not going to happen. As your father said, it is just one night. After tonight, if you don’t like this kid or you don’t want to hang around him anymore, you can dump him and everything can go back to normal where you don’t have to worry about being hurt again.” Her mother said calmly, but brutally honest.

Her daughter nodded, and relented. “I will go get changed then.”

Kyle turned to Sarah who gave him a wink. “Still works.”

~o~

Her sisters were driving her crazy. She wished they didn’t have to accompany her to this stupid dance. “Are you ok?” Stan asked her. She nodded turning her head away. Everyone was here, including the seniors who were surely to win king and queen again. _Why am I here?_ Everybody knew her as the oddball. She was totally going to suck at this.

“That’s enough Mary.”

“I wasn’t saying anything.” Mary complained, pointing to the girls gathered outside the school to her twin, Caitlyn.

 _I’m going to get a headache with those two._ Stan told her to calm down, and gave her a small kiss in her cheek before adjusting the necklace he gave her. Her parents told her to be careful, though her dad was just eying Stan as if he was his next target and Pops wasn’t hopeful, just staring at him with the same blank expression.

“This is fabulous. Are we going to get dates too or you two love birds going to have all the fun?” Caitlyn asked.

Stan almost choked on his laughter. “Nah, you two can explore if you want to, some of my pals brought their brothers so I am sure you will have a lot of company.”

The girls grinned and ran towards the gymnasium.

“Thank you.” She told Stan.

“Hey, it’s no problem, I have siblings of my own. They can be a real drag. So let’s get settled, I will introduce you to some of the gang.”

Janet looked up at the beautiful stars and moons that had been put up as decoration. She had helped with some of them, along with Stan’s ex, her worst nightmare, Gwen. Ever since she could remember, Gwen was always mean to her and she prided herself of having good parents who were well respected within the community. She on the other hand, had to be careful and was always worrying that somebody could discover her identity and take her and her sisters away.

“Hey Janet, earth to Janet. This is Brady, the quarterback, Brady dude this is Janet. You remember Janet, right?”

“Yeah, how could I not? You are the only one who doesn’t get on Mrs. Granger’s bad side.” He said. Stan then motioned to his other teammates whose girlfriends he also introduced.

“Janet, right?” Said one of them. “I really love your dress. Where did you buy it? Forever 21, DC Shop? You look fabulous. I am actually jealous right now.”

“Ah don’t be, it is not that great believe me. My mom helped me picked it up while we were at the mall.” She said. It was partly true, although her dad had also tagged along while Pops waited in the car, because he didn’t want them to pick something too _revealing._

“Well your mom has good taste because I know for a fact that they don’t sell dresses with that purse, those necklace and that shawl anymore.” She said.

Janet blushed. Again, she had to give credit to her mom, who despite her hard exterior had a greater understanding of feminine clothing and make up.

“So what do you think of them?” Stan asked her once they were seated. He invited some of them to sit with them, which Janet told him she was ok after he’d asked her for her permission.

“I like them.” She said, feeling a chill run down her spine as she saw the principal and several teachers join the party.

“That’s odd.”

“What is?”

“Mr. Baum. He never comes to these events. He’s usually very square. I think the rumors must be true.”

“What rumors?”

“You know. The rumors. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard?” Janet shook her head, taking her gaze away from him after his eyes landed on her. Stan sighed. “It’s the general’s daughter, or rather the bitch from hell. Miss Brewster.”

“The Gym teacher?”

“Yeah, I know. Unbelievable but there you have it. A little young for him but nobody cares since he is the freaking head of defense systems in Cyberdyne.”

“He’s what?”

“Cyberdyne. You know the ones that were going to launch Genisys? That big fiasco app that turned out to be lamer than the Apple ones? Don’t tell me you’d been living under a rock this entire time.” He chuckled. “I guess it’s true what they say about you and your computers.”

“There’s nothing wrong in spending time doing work ahead of time.”

“No, but there is when that is all you do. I am not saying this to make you feel bad Janet. But people talk and if you want to build yourself a better reputation you need to start getting out more. Look at your sisters, they know what human interactions is all about.”

Mary and Caitlyn had already made friends with some of his friends’ siblings and were dancing in a small group. Janet almost envied them. Almost. Because if what her parents feared was true, then none of this will ever matter.

“I am just not good at making friends.”

“Then let me teach you. At the next song, you and me, we dance.”

He sounded so confident that he took her nerves away. “Alright but just once.”

“No, hell no. Why just one? Let’s go wild, you go wild. Show everyone here that you are more than just a hacker bookworm. Come on, it’ll be fun. We might even get elected to king and queen.”

Now it was her turn to laugh. “Yeah, me Queen.”

But Stan was serious. “Why not? Look at you. Everyone is stunned to see you here. You are beautiful, take advantage of that. Let the people see you and they will love you.”

Janet wanted nothing more than to believe she could have a good time but she remembered her mom’s word to look after her sisters, and be careful because _we are Connors and you are also a Reese and we are never safe._

To hell with it –A voice said in her head, and she turned to her twins who waved at her. _To hell with it._ She agreed and took Stan’s word for it, and let him lead her to the dance floor.

~o~

Katherine Brewster smiled at the young couple. It had nearly been eighteen years since she found John, and asked him to turn her. _Pretty little idiot._ She almost felt pity for the poor girl. “Are you sure you want to do this? She’s just a child. What about the other two?”

“They won’t be here when the chaos starts. Trust me.”

“What about you? What will you do once she discovers who you are?” She asked him.

“I will do what I always do” He said, going back to their table, watching with some jealousy and amusement as the brat swallowed every little lie that Stan said, showing a smile of pure joy at his words. “I will handle it by telling her the truth.”

As the music stopped and everyone rushed to their seats so they could cast their vote for their king and queen, John told her it was time, and while their sister was busy debating with Stan if they should vote for themselves (while naively ignoring why she of all people would ever make that list), Kate came and took Mary and Caitlyn away with the excuse that their parents had come for them.

 “This is it.” Stan told her, clapping as they announced this year’s winner of the talent show, best dressed, highly anticipating the moment when they announced who was elected king and queen.

Stan turned to his partner. He never realized how beautiful she was until now. He had been after her since the sixth grade but she was always freaking out about something. Just what that was? He didn’t know. But there was an air of mystery around her that he wanted to discover and when he followed her home he’d found out that her parents were none other than those domestic terrorists. Stan always had a flair for the dramatic and he told his older sister but she didn’t believe him. Finally, he decided to drop it, until he told his mom to pick her up. She’d only met her mother briefly, but it was enough for her to pass judgment and convince herself that she was a good looking woman, and nice one at that. Stan was going to tell Gwen all about it, when her sisters started making a big fuzz in the car and his mother nearly called their mother so she could pick them up instead, but Janet came to the rescue, coming with the best solution that she could by telling them a story about robots, princesses, dragons and knights and as with every fairy tale, the knight won in the end and rescued the fair maiden, and sired a strong family. His mother smiled warmly and before they got out, she kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear _“Don’t let go of this one.”_

He didn’t want to, but he remembered Gwen and the rest of their gang’s plan. _By tomorrow she will hate me and I will probably deserve to be called every name there is in the book, but this is what Gwen and the guys want and it’s too late to go back._

He nodded to his best friends and their girlfriends to go ahead and put on the embarrassing video they’d filmed of her in the locker room, when she thought she was alone and naked.

As he turned his attention back to her, he couldn’t help but feel a deeper guilt as she smiled –for the first time it seemed- sharing the same excitement the rest of the girls had for hearing who was their new king and queen.

“And to end this day, we have Mr. Baum… Oh well he doesn’t seem to cooperate, we will  have to do this by ourselves, I am sure he doesn’t mind, does he?” John didn’t bother to blink at Jasper Moran, the class crown whose only real achievement was that he was a good presenter. _Let this end soon._ He crossed his arms against his chest, mentally smiling as he pictured his sister’s smile. _She is his daughter._ Everything about her screamed Kyle, and that was the one thing he couldn’t forgive her for.

“So on with the roll … Your King and Queen are Stan Marsh and Janet Herman-Elton. Let’s give a big round of applause for Stan and Janet!”

Everyone applauded, a happy music was turned on as Stan led Janet to the beautiful thrones at the center of the stage. Their crowns were placed on their heads, Stan was given a scepter while Janet was given a big bouquet of white and pink roses with a red ribbon and around it were the words ‘Prom Queen’. “Told you this would be a great day.” Stan said.

At that moment, Jasper asked their new king and queen to come forward so they could wave at their subjects. Everyone shared a good laugh, including Janet who usually didn’t laugh.

_You are so gullible._

Janet’s smile turned into a frown as she searched for her sisters in the crowd and didn’t find them, then turned to the principal and saw his eyes flash blue. She gasped, dropping her roses. “Wave, wave Janet. They are looking at you.”

“Stan we have to get out of here.” She said and took his hand.

“What’s gotten into you, wave. Everyone will think you are being odd again.”

“No Stan you don’t understand. He is coming after us.”

“Who’s he? Janet you’re scaring me.”

Seeing that the little freak was about to spoil their plans, his girlfriend’s best friend and her boyfriend, gave the signal to Gwen to go ahead and spray her.

In one second, when Janet was about to tell Stan the truth, she was silenced into submission by the smell of cow’s blood on her yellow and white dress.


	4. Heaven is so far away

_**"And I feel the way that every child** _  
_**should sit and listen** _  
_**sit and listen ...** _  
_**(and it feels)** _  
_**went to school and I was very nervous, no one knew me** _  
_**no one knew me** _  
_**Hello teacher tell me what's my lessons** _  
_**look right through me** _

_**And it feels, yeah it feels like** _  
_**heaven's so far away!** _  
_**And it feels ... yeah it feels like** _  
_**the world's gone cold now that you've gone away."** _

_**~** _ **Mad World, Cover by Ashley Garbe Adams and Cody Robbins**

“Janet, open the door! Janet Connor come out this instant.”

Janet shook her head, even though her mother couldn’t see her. She sobbed as the water poured on her back. Sitting down, she hugged her knees to her chest. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.

“Mom is going to kill you.”

“Who’s there?” She opened her mouth but no sound came.

“What? No hug for your brother?”

Janet looked down at her feet, she had tried very hard to scrub them so she could get the blood out but it had turned sticky.

“Did you think that I was going to leave you alone after you ran like crazy screaming that Judgment Day is coming?”

“Get out!”

“You are a lot like our father. Kyle would get emotional too. He’s always been that way, if he sees someone in danger, he just runs there” He made a movement with his hand “Doesn’t matter who he is, he just acts. It's what got him killed in the other timelines and would have got him killed again if I wasn't there to save him."

"Lies. You only saved him because you needed him. You've never cared about anyone but yourself.” She wiped her tears but new ones began to fall. “Why did you do this to me? What did I do to merit such hatred?”

“Soft spoken too.” John sat next to her, his back facing her to give her privacy. “Your parents never told you what they did to me, did they?” He could sense the girl nod. “There’s your answer.”

“That was them. I never did anything  to you!”

“It’s not what you did stupid girl, it’s what they did. I spent my life protecting mankind and finally when I have a reason to turn back the clock and give mankind a better future, and my family, your parents a better one as well, they spit in my face and have you! A stupid little girl who will never live up to the reputation of John Connor.”

“What about you did? Huh? You nearly killed my mother, and threatened to kill both of them. My father would have followed you to the ends of the world but you turned into a machine and wanted to destroy the whole world. What did you expect they would do expect do what they were trained to do, what you told them to?”

John chuckled. Finally some of that temper was coming to light. He was going to have so much fun when his father burst through those doors. Or even better! His mother and let them see what he did to their precious little girl.

“Just go. Please just go.” She sobbed harder, remembering the laughter then the screams and sounds of bones crushing under people’s heels as her enemies were pinned to the ground.

“Your parents are going to come at any moment and they are going to ask you what happened? And imagine their shock when you tell them that their perfect little daughter killed everyone including her professors. Imagine what they will say? Pops will tell your mom to kill you and she will comply and you know why?”

She covered her ears, ignoring his voice and their mom who was banging at her bedroom door, screaming higher than ever before, and their sisters, telling her to stop being so sensitive and hear John for once.

_Leave me alone! Please! Please! I just want to be alone! I just want to be alone!_

_Janet, you killed those people. If it weren’t for Stan screaming at you, you wouldn’t have snapped out of it._ –her sister Mary said. Jane tried to get her out of her head but she couldn’t. 

Her sisters were the only ones her parents would believe, because they were strong, and because they were the only ones that hadn’t been covered in cow’s blood.

 _Just stop it! Leave me alone._ “Everyone please leave me alone …” She cried, whimpering as she heard John’s voice again.

“Your parents are going to kill you. Kyle always listens to what Sarah says and Sarah will gladly give up her daughter if her Pops told her to. And nobody will miss you because nobody will care about the daughter of two terrorists, and much less when they know you murdered all those people.”

“Stan won’t say a thing. He promised …”

“Stan was in on the prank. If it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t have been the laughing stock. You must’ve suspected.”

“I did but I also saw your eyes flash blue before they threw cow’s blood on me. You could have warned me but you let them do that to me. If you wanted to punish my parents why not punish them instead?”

“Because, I already told you, you stupid girl. I want to make them suffer. I am not the kind of man that kills someone and gets it over with. I am not a machine, if I wanted them dead I would have killed them a long time ago. I want to punish them for denying me everything and giving you everything. That’s why I did this.”

“Why just me though?”

John grinned, hearing the heavy footsteps of his father and the guardian. In less than three minutes they were going to come and see her drenched in blood. The stuff they’d poured at her was thick and she had barely washed it. Most of what remained he saw (briefly turning, just once when she closed her eyes) was on her hair, face and arms. Enough for her parents to draw a conclusion. He wanted to kill both of them, Pops and Sarah and leave Kyle, so he could turn him and this time he would be the Kyle that he wanted, but he thought against it hearing the girl’s constant sobbing.

 _God, was I ever that whiny?_ No, he didn’t think so. Despite everything he faced, he never complained about a thing, learning early on that crying got you nowhere. _Sarah has grown soft with this brat._ Perhaps he should have killed her when he first saw her as a baby. The nanites he had implanted on Sarah had done their job where his sisters were concerned, but they did very little to change this whiny girl’s attitude.

 _Spoiled brat._ “When your parents and their pet machine tried to end Sky Net, I ensured its existence by moving its intelligence to the central core. When I came out of the pool of rubble I found that it was unstable and becoming more demanding, so I did the next big thing.”

Their eyes locked.

“You infected my mother?”

John snorted. She truly was stupid. Kate was right, she should have just killed her and gotten it over with, but there was something comical in this girl that prevented him from splattering her brains all over the floor, and the other thing was because of what he said next to her.  
“No you idiot. I had already infected your mother the day before when she and your lousy father blew up Cyberdine. But the nanites I infected her weren’t going to turn her next of kin into a Terminator, so when I learned that she had changed her name and married Kyle, I took Sky Net’s code and on a doctor’s visit, I implanted it under the guise of a vaccine. You and your sisters, Janet, are Sky Net’s dream come true.”

“What? No, I don’t believe you. I am not Sky Net … We are not Sky Net. We bleed, we feel.”

“So does your Pops when he was a T-800. Machines aren’t that different that humans, they just think better. How else do you explain your mental connection with your siblings, or the fact that you burned the entire school with just your thoughts? You think that it was electrical? Things just flew because it was a windy night with the windows closes?” He laughed. “No, no, it was all you. And until tonight, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Janet gritted her teeth, eyes flashing red, she screamed at John one last time “Leave” and sent things flying his way. John wasn’t cowed. He merely smiled at the poor girl then rose and left.

At that exact moment Pops, Sarah and Kyle with their youngest daughters behind them, burst into her bedroom then kicked the door of her bathroom. None of them were prepared to see her crouching down in the bathtub, naked and covered in blood.


	5. How can such a young life go so wrong?

****_“You know you live to break me down tonight_  
I’m some sacrifice  
One day, I’m going to forget your name  
One sweet day you’re going to drown in my last pain

 **** _Fear is only around me_  
Taking over all the time  
Fear is only in my mind  
But it’s taking over … over me!

 **** _You sweet innocent drown your eyes_  
and testify!  
And you live to break me  
don’t! I’m your sacrifice!”  
~Sweet Sacrifice by Evanescence

**_“Everyone that hurt me is going to pay."  
~So Long by Everlast_ **

“You know, I loved John, more than anything he was my brother, my partner … my son.” There was a brief pause. “I would’ve followed him to the ends of … I am sure you know that already. But when he asked me to execute those prisoners I couldn’t do it. It was the first time I disobeyed him, it was also the last. They don’t feel pain –he told me. We do, we do this for the good of humanity. We must make examples of deserters. We are not machines, I told your brother. I am not sure he understood that. All he ever wanted to do after the war was take a beer. This was a man who couldn’t see a future where humanity was in peace. All his life he’d been told that the war was coming, that he was going to lead us to victory and that after that happened, he would be nobody. I think part of why he did the things he did was because he was afraid of fading into oblivion. That’s not going to happen to you Janet, you will always be with us no matter what.” He reached for her daughter’s hand, who was still shaken at what Pops had said.

Kyle wished he could take everything that thing said back, but it was too late and deep down he’d always known what she was. He had watched her levitate things when she was a year old. At first he thought it was his imagination, but there they were, floating above her, the toy soldiers he’d made for her from wood he collected from the forest, fighting each other. Kyle told Sarah about it –in retrospect it was not the best idea at the time. She started working with Pops at finding a way they could reverse it, but when Pops said there was no other way, she opted for his idea at ignoring it. _“If we ignore it, it will be like it never happened and she won’t know.”_ It worked for the first couple of years. Janet wasn’t aware of what she could do until she was five. At that age, she tried to hide it from her parents and she was partly successful where her mother was concerned because Sarah was busy watching over her figure, making sure that nothing she did affected their next child.

Pops, that old, not-so-old machine as he loved to chastised Reese,  said they were having twins. It was a big bum for Kyle because he didn’t want to know so early, but a part of him was glad because more children meant more joy.  
So Janet became more of an introvert, and like Kyle she retreated to her favorite things which was imagining things, and playing with her dolls and the toy soldiers he continued to make for her, including her wooden dogs and horses. Kyle asked her if she wanted to learn how to make them, and always eager to learn something new, she said yes and afterwards went back to her room where she laughed and played with her toys as when she was a baby, and Kyle would watch –opening the door quietly so she wouldn’t notice him- and witness them come alive.

Sarah didn’t pay much heed to it, she learned to ignore her as they all did. She was an introvert after all, and she never did anything wrong except cry when they tried to train her and at scary movies. Their daughter was the opposite of John, and her sisters who like his friend took after their mother in looks and attitude.

“He said he wanted to hurt you so you would know how it feels.” Janet said after a long pause, bringing Kyle from his thoughts.

Kyle nodded, closing his eyes and squeezing her hand softly. He’d not been able to pull the trigger against John except when he was about to attack Sarah. Part of him was still convinced he could be saved, and it moved him when his daughters told him that he had been kind to him –as Kate- and told them all the funny jokes he told Kyle when he was a kid to calm them down when their sister ran amok.  
But Janet was another story. He hated her. The man he grew to love and see as a father figure … his son! Hated her.

“ _You should have put a bullet in his skull when you had the chance.”_ His wife chided him while she was working hard to take the blood out of her daughter’s face, hair and shoulders. Kyle had turned his back so he could give them some privacy, all the while squeezing his eyes shut, thinking how it was possible that his best friend could have done such a thing to an innocent girl who had never done anything wrong in her life. He wanted to shoot himself when he heard Janet say _“Mommy please I want to go to jail. I don’t want to be here anymore.”_ And Sarah tell her (which he could only guess meant she gripped his daughter’s shoulders because Janet whimpered) _“That’s enough. Listen to me soldier, we are all in this together. What happened today was bad but we are going to forget about this and move on.”_

That was Sarah’s answer for everything. Move on. Where could they move? Some hick-town? _Even if we escape from the public eye, our daughter will always be scarred by that one event._ John would always find them no matter what, and he was going to make true on his promise and go to the ends of the world –if necessary- to see them suffer.

“What you did was not your fault. If it is anybody’s fault is John’s, never forget that.”

“You don’t believe that. You can spend a lot of time telling me that it was John’s or someone else’s but in the end you and mom, and pops too, know it was me. I killed those people. I was the one who caused the fire, I closed the doors so nobody would escape and I am the one who pinned Stacy and Mary to the ground to the ground so they wouldn’t escape and pay for what they did to me, and I was the one who smiled and laughed while everyone including the professors stepped over them and crushed their bones. And I am the one who threw everything at Gwen the minute I saw her and she yelled at me ‘please stop’ and burned her alive. I don’t deserve anyone’s pity.”

“That’s right you don’t, but your mother is right. This is the world we live in and this is who we are and we must accept it. What you did was wrong, but so was John. Your brother knew what you were capable and he didn’t do anything to stop it.” Kyle said getting serious with his daughter. It was the only way he could get through to her in her mental state, and it was also the only way she could come to terms to what she did and understand that tears would not solve anything.

“But how can I live with this? I can’t. Nobody can.”

“Yes you can. You just do what your mom told your sisters, you just go and you never look back. You disconnect from everything, from the past, the screams and the sorrow and you follow that straight line.” He said and took her other hand as she turned and locked her blue eyes (the only featured all Reeses shared alike, including her older brother) and did the same thing Sarah had done for him in this timeline. “You just go and you never look back.”

“What if I can’t?”

“You can because you’re my daughter.”

She embraced him. Kyle kissed the top of her head and whispered to her before he left her to join Sarah in their bedroom where the twins also were (the two deciding that it was best for Mary and Caitlyn to sleep with them tonight): “I will always be with you, I promise. But you have to be strong too. You are a Connor and more importantly you are my little girl and John’s just jealous. He’s an angry man who had everything taken from him, and he wants to do the same thing to you but you must not let him do it. You must show him that you are like your old man, stronger even because you have something he will never have” he made a pause then smiled and resumed “your parents and your sisters who will always love you.”

~o~

“How touching Kyle.” John muttered to himself as he watched Kyle comfort his daughter.

“I told you, you should have killed that bitch when you had the chance.” Kate told him when he returned home. “You are making it a bigger risk for the both of us by letting her live.”

“I need her, we both need her. I told you I couldn’t do this without the three of them.”

“What about us? Have you thought what your parents will do once they know about me?”

“They will not touch a hair of you, I will make sure of it.” John said then kissed her passionately. He had missed her. God, he hated to admit it but he had missed the scent of her hair, that stupid perfume she somehow always managed to find or make and even in this timeline she still wore it. But most of it, she loved the sound of her voice, chiding him and reminding him of who he was.

“When you said you were going to help them pull that prank by not saying a thing, I was sure you were going to going to say I am going to kill that-“

“I can’t do it because that bitch is my sister and because she reminds me of Kyle.”

“I know but you must remember what you told me John: You can’t let one of them live. You said so yourself: They abandoned you, treated you like you were a piece of shit. They don’t merit your forgiveness.” John said nothing. He wanted to do it. When Stan made her see reason and helped her escape the burning building, he changed his hand into a long blade and was ready to pierce her when he remembered that young boy in the drain, looking at him, seeking help.

She placed both hands on his face. “John, you and I have the chance of being part of something wonderful. Since you turned me eighteen years ago, I promised I would help you and you promised you’d be there for me. I would be your sole reason for existence. Prove it to me. Make them suffer.”

“I will.” John said, sighing inwardly. He didn’t think he could do that, or even feel like this. Incompetent and belittled before her but she was offering him the chance to be the man he was before: A leader, unforgiving and determined. And she was asking him to do what was necessary. _She is not afraid of doing what needs to be done. Neither should you. Remember who you are._ The last sentence he heard it in his mother and Kate’s voice. Indeed she reminded him of his mother many times and this time it was no different.

 _She is asking you John. You promised to make her your sole priority. Make it happen._ He would.

~o~

Mary and Caitlyn settled into their new home. Their family’s old friend, O’Brien, old as he was, came with their new passports and other IDs, including the girls’. Mary and Caitlyn greeted him and thanked him for their gifts, and also thanked him on behalf of their sister who sulked in her room.

It was a real bummer. Janet was behaving like their brother said she would behave, like an emo brat. Why was she so sad? Those bad boys and girls were mean to her, it was only fair that she did what she did. When people hurt you, you hurt them back. No time for being sorry.

“You think that Jan is going to come to her senses?” Mary asked her twin sister while clapping hands with her, playing that silly game her mother taught them. It had been her favorite game when she was a girl, before her parents got killed by the T-1000. They hated playing it but they played it anyway to appease her mother and they both knew –if mom was appeased then she would give them whatever they wanted because they were better markswomen and not socially awkward unlike their sister.

“Not any time soon.” Caitlyn said giggling, her eyes flashing blue as she remembered Janet screaming at their mom to leave her alone and the house going up in arms about it. She transmitted the memory to her sister whose only feature that distinguished her from her sister was her mole in the shape of a new moon on her left cheek. “Mommy says that she will do nothing but mope and dad says that it is only fair that we be nice to her.”

“Poor Jan really. She didn’t deserve what happened to her, you know. But I told her, don’t trust those boys. You remember how I told her.”

“Yeah, I know. But I told her first.” Mary said.

“Did not.”

“Did too!” Mary defended. “I showed her what a jerk Stan Marsh was and he was still going on with that slut Gwen and her friend Tammy Pierce but she didn’t listen to me.”

“That’s because you didn’t show her the images. And you don’t call a girl slut.”

“Why not?”

Caitlyn shrugged. “I don’t know. Mommy says you’re not supposed to. It demeans girls, she says.”

Mary didn’t understand why it did. Men were whores, women were too. What was the difference there? _People are so complicated._ She thought. “Okay done. Now what game do we play?”

“Mmm … how about dress up where I dress up as you and you dress up as me and we confuse mommy?” Caitlyn offered and Mary agreed. They always had fun confusing their parents about who was who. And putting on a scarf was the best feature because then their parents would just have to make wild guesses about which one was the one with the lunar mole.

“Done!” Caitlyn said smiling in triumph as they put on their green scarfs. “Now let’s bug the heck out of mommy.” The two ran to the living room where Sarah and Kyle were discussing about who would take their daughters to school. When they saw their daughters playing the ‘dressing game’ again they sighed. Sarah rolled her eyes then chuckled and asked if they were willing to negotiate for a bar of chocolate, while Kyle looked as if he was going to have another migraine.

~o~

“Have fun. Hey, Caitlyn don’t hold your backpack like that, you’ll drop your books. Great!” Kyle groaned. He got out of the car and lightly chided Caitlyn for leaving the zipper open again.

“But dad, all girls do that. Haven’t you seen the new Simpsons episode?”

“Simpsons? They still run that show? But it’s on its thirtieth season!”

Caitlyn looked at her sister. The two burst out laughing.

“Oh, ha-ha what is dad sounding too old now?”

“No daddy but you’re being ignorant again. Simpsons are forever, it’s like karaoke, you can’t beat it so just join their legion of fans.”

“Well I still think it’s stupid. I prefer South Park and Family Guy, thank you and don’t call me ignorant. Just because I don’t know some stuff…” He stopped as they giggled harder. He wrung his hands in the air. “You know what? I give up. Have a good day in school and Mary no jokes and Caitlyn stop ogling boys.”

“But dad we are nearly ten.” Caitlyn pouted, while Mary nipped her lip, both giving him those puppy-dog-eyes that always got him to comply. _You don’t need mind control like in the movies when you have smarts._ Caitlyn thought. Mary heard her thoughts and agreed.

“Fine but if you bring one big jerk by the time you are fifteen I am not responsible for my actions.”

“Don’t worry dad. We have mom’s brains.” They said and before Kyle could ask what they meant by that, the bell rang and they ran along with the other kids to class.

Pops drove them to Jan’s new school. Jan was shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Pops told her that it was very immature of her.

“Pops she is fifteen, I am sure Sarah acted the same way.”

“Negative, Sarah Connor knew her duty and did it. Janet Connor-Reese you are doing nobody any favors acting this way. You must avoid another episode at all costs or your family risks being captured at the hands of your brother, John Connor.”

“Pops just leave it.” Kyle said, working very hard not to yell at the machine.

Pops pulled over and unlocked the doors. “Hey Jan, wait!” Janet closed the door. “I know this is hard for you, I don’t understand some of this stuff either but remember who you are.”

“I know.” _A monster._ She thought. Thought she didn’t say it aloud, Kyle knew what she was thinking by her eyes being cast down.

“Hey, look at me soldier. You are Janet Connor-Reese. My daughter. I had to survive a world of pain and death, you can too.”

“Because I am your daughter.”

“Yes. Eyes forward, chin up. There you go. You can do it Jan, you’re stronger than you know.” Kyle said and Pops looked away. Kyle noticed it. Pops didn’t think that Jan could control her powers unlike her younger sisters because of her introvert nature but that was just because Pops was a machine. He didn’t know a thing about humans. We were unpredictable and we always defied logic.

“Tougher than mom?”

“Yes.” Kyle humored, albeit he believed his words. Sarah was tough alright, but it was a physical toughness, Jan’s toughness was an emotional toughness. She had gone through so much, been on the brink of madness, and still managed to keep the part of her that made her, her.

Jan smiled, a small smile but a smile nonetheless and twined her arms around her father then got out of the car, swung her backpack around her shoulder and walked to her new school.

~o~

“How did it go?”

“I think things will be alright from now on.”

“Pff, things are never alright with us Connors, trust me.”

“I do that is why I am saying it!” He softened his tone. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I just want them to have a normal life, it’s the least we can do after everything they’ve been through.”

“They’ve been through? What about what we’ve been through? We’ve seen everyone we love die Kyle. You heard what your parents in this timeline have said. John has made their lives a living hell and they are barely living. They could lose the house. The house you grew up in.”

“I know and I’ve told the other me to keep guard but he only does it because he has the hots for you –literally.”

“You did tell him that I have only eyes for Kyle, one Kyle.” She said, grinning as he smiled sexily at her. She loved it when he did that and crooked her finger beckoning him to approach. “The kids are not here and Pops has gone to buy us supplies.”

“I know but I have to go to work in an hour.” He reminded her.

“Which gives us thirty minutes before you start changing.”

“Can we do it in thirty minutes?”

“Hell yes unless you are not up for the job soldier.” Kyle gave her an expression of mock indignation and took her in his arms and carried her bridal style to their bedroom.

~o~

John turned to his wife. After one night, they were both satiated of their sexual hunger for each other. It didn’t matter where they were, if they had business to attend to, people to stalk, they always managed to find each other. Kate would be gone for days, last time she was gone for years, but they always found each other. Because that’s what made them, them. They would always be together.

_“My parents are on the news.”_

_“What are you going to do? Are you going to kill them like you promised?”_

_“Kate they’re my parents.” He told her, holding her hands before she threw them up in the air like he was some idiot who didn’t want to listen to reason. Poor Kate she didn’t understand.  
But she did, as he proved him right the day after when his parents disintegrated him. He would’ve disappeared from existence if it wasn’t for some of the nanites falling unto the first pool (separate from the second pool where the T-800 fell on) of poly-alloy._

_“Took you very long this time …” She said upon him re-integrating and coming out._

_“Don’t say it! And you can take the ‘very’ out of the sentence. It would have sufficed without that.”_

_“Always the same John. You know, when I asked you to turn me I had nightmares about my lives in the other timelines, including the one you came from and one thing mister I learned is never argue with you, except I do this time because you need a good kick to get you up and going.”_

_“Whatever. I am not going to hear you say that dreaded phrase again!”_

_“I told you so?” John groaned. Kate rolled her eyes and helped him stand up. No matter what, he would always need her and that is what bothered her. John could be so much more, he had the potential of winning if he wasn’t too stuck on the past. ‘When is he going to learn his parents are just impediments?’ –She thought. They had done nothing for him. He’d done everything for them._

_‘Apparently not enough’ Her mind told her because John then said: “I must check on the core. Something tells me it won’t be stable. If it’s not, you know what I have to do.”_

And Kate had been angry that he had done it. So she ran away, or rather left because John failed her. When she came back, it was after she’d seen that John’s plan was not bad except for the fact that his parents were still alive and the eldest girl was a nervous wreck.

“You have been making her life a living hell. If you just revealed yourself to her from the beginning like when you did when she was a month old, then she would have trusted you and voila. Her parents would be the enemy, instead they are now attached to her out of pity.”

“Kyle isn’t.”

“You really think he loves her? Him? He loves what she represents”

“What is that?”

“A future he will never have, with a woman he’s loved thanks to you.”

“Kyle might have been manipulated by me, but falling in love with Sarah was all him.”

“It still doesn’t change the fact that he will never have what he wants Little Janet represents the life he could have. That is why he loves her so much because she reminds him of him.”

John considered that for a minute then grinned at Kate.

“What?”

“You are evil, you know that? Maybe my parents should be more afraid of you then me.”

Kate merely smiled. “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn or a woman who’s chance at happiness has been taken by two people who can’t accept the simple truth that they are no longer relevant.”

“Amen.” John said crossing himself in a mocking manner.

They were going to make them suffer. They were going to make sure of it. Starting with Kyle’s favorite girl and nobody would notice because the girl was already a nervous wreck. John had made her so, and he would continue to do so until there was nothing of her left and she drove herself to the precipice and took her parents with them. Except that John didn’t want her to take Kyle because he wanted Kyle to see, to feel what he felt when he and Sarah passed down his offer of immortality and treated him like he was an abomination. But most of all, he wanted his father to see his face as he took what remained of his pathetic family and tell him that he and Kate would be a better guardian to those girls than him.

~o~

Janet adjusted very well to her school. The girls were nicer and they loved talking about mundane things, something she rarely talked about. She met some good boys too, most of them her age who were not afraid to engage in conversation with any girls, including awkward girls like her.

“Mind if I sit here?” One girl, she forgot who her name was as it didn’t seem relevant, asked. Jan nodded.

“So what’s your name? You’re new here aren’t you? I haven’t seen you in like ever. Name’s …” She trailed off as her friends came. “Oh the gang’s here. Hey girls want to introduce you to the new girl.”

She gave a quick introduction and all the girls shook hands with her which was an anomaly but she guessed that was how it was in small town schools. “Want to sit with us at lunch?” Janet nodded.

At lunch, Jan talked about her family life spinning lies after lies until it became natural to her.

John said that she was pathetic but for the first time she didn’t feel pathetic as she laughed and joined in on the fun, and when the day ended, she got in the car with Pops, feeling much better. Dad is right –she said to herself –I have one thing John will never have.


	6. Come Little Children

_"Come Little Children I'll take thee away_

_into a land of enchantment_

_Come Little Children the time's come to play_

_into my garden of magic."_

_~Come Little Children, Karliene cover_

“Hey Caitlyn. Is that your sister? She’s hot.” Alan said.

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “She is my twin sister Al, you can hardly call her hot without calling me hot too moron.”

“Hey don’t be so angry, I wasn’t talking about her, I meant her.” He pointed to the other girl in the school’s field trip to the museum of science. “She is hot.”

“Yeah, damn. And oh shit look, your brother Trey is hooking up with her.”

A boy no older than Jane had approached her. He wore his backpack on his side like she did, but on the opposite soldier, and he had one of those cool new glasses that google had released last year that supposedly let you navigate through the internet. Caitlyn and Mary begged their mother to buy one for them. “We can share! Please! Please! Mommy please!” “No” Sarah had said. “But mommy everyone is wearing them. We will be total losers if we show up to school without one.” Mary moaned, making those puppy-dog-eyes but they didn’t work on her mother who said “If the kids at school jumped from a moving vehicle would you do it too?” Their father nearly spilled his milk. They begged him to tell them afterwards what was so funny about that, but he said it was nothing important. _“Well?”_ Their mother had insisted. _“No. But that’s different, this is a matter of life and death.”_ Mary countered and Caitlyn said _“Yeah. If we don’t show up with them, our lives will be destroyed. We will never get boyfriends. Even loony Jane gets to be chased by boys.”_

Their mother wasn’t too happy about them calling their older sister loony Jane but they weren’t lying. They were being honest and honesty was an important trademark of the Connors and the Reeses. Their brother told them they should never lie. _“Honesty is what sets us apart from the rest.”_ Jane didn’t want to admit the truth because she loved lying to herself just like their daddy.

Jane seemed really taken with him and when he whispered something in her ear, she chuckled.

“Damn some men are born with tremendous luck.” Travis said.

“Yeah.” Alan lamented tearing his gaze away from his _‘future Mrs. Williams’_. Caitlyn shook her head and muttered to her sister when the exhibition was over and they waited for their dad to pick them up at school “Boys.”

Mary agreed with her (as always). Boys were so weird. “Adults are even weirder. Did you hear what mom said to daddy last time when they were arguing about who they loved most in their bedroom?”

“No. But I doubt they really argued over something as petty as that.”

“Did too. I heard them. Go on. Search my memories you’ll see I am not lying.”

“I know you’re not but mom and dad love all their children, why they would be discussing a thing like that?” Caitlyn asked.

“Easy.” Mary said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and gave her sister the answer “Janet. Pops says that Jane is a danger to the family and he proposed to mom that they should take her elsewhere to stay with Hector, Enrique’s son or somewhere else, far away as possible but mom said no then she told dad all about it and he got mad and he said that he would never part with one of his children but mom reminded him that he has us to worry about and if it comes to the three of us, he has to think of our safety first.”

“Janet should’ve known better than to blow up like that at prom night. Now mom is going to listen to Pops.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because she always listens to Pops, Mary.”

“Nu-uh. Pops said she was unruly growing up. If she was like that before, she won’t listen to Pops now and besides, that was so long ago. Over a year! Janet has not done anything since then.”

“That still doesn’t mean that she won’t do it. You know how sensible Janet is. And if John tries something else, she is likely to blow up.” Caitlyn reminded her.

“Poor Janet. If she only learned to control that temper of hers.”

“Yea.” Caitlyn agreed.

“She is soo …” Mary started and looked to her sister and both finished off her sentence “Immature.” Then giggled.

* * *

 

Kyle had a tough time at work. Sarah worked two jobs to help him with the bills. It was hard, and his colleagues’ drama didn’t make it any better. Wiping his hands off grease from one of the many rich guys’ cars he’d been working on, he went to wash his hands. He hated this. He wanted to go back to the way they were. It wasn’t idyllic but at least he had more time for his family. Sarah didn’t enjoy it either. Although she was too proud to admit it, he saw the toll it was taking on her and how it was affecting her. Sarah loved all of their children (except for John, although that can be argued it was because she never knew him in this timeline) but she was starting to resent Janet for what she did, and barely spoke to her when she came home from work, and did her best efforts to keep her separated from the twins.

Finally one day he had enough and told her to stop being paranoid.

“I am not being paranoid, I am just taking precautions.”

“Precautions of what? Sarah she is seventeen for Christ’s sake! You are making her feel more alienated. She is just a child.”

“Yeah a child who caused the death of hundreds of people. Don’t try to turn this on me Kyle. You know what she is capable of.” Her voice softened. “Look Kyle, I know you love her and I love her too. I want to give our children everything we didn’t get either but as long as John’s Terminator and his wife are out there, we will never be safe.”

“That’s why we are preparing them for when Judgement Day comes. Sarah, if we want to win against Sky Net, we must stand united, otherwise it will be easy for John to take us out, one by one just like he told our daughter he would.”

‘Our daughter’. Sarah had looked away, almost in disgust when he heard him say that. She could deal with many things but the thought of their daughters being like _him_ , she couldn’t. _No, that’s not it and you know it. Sarah knows about Mary and Caitlyn being special since birth and she has never been strict to them. Just Janet._

Sarah wanted Janet to be another John Connor, to be the legend, to take after her lost brother, to be what he was supposed to be. When it became clear she would never be like him, she became distant. Even if Janet had not killed those people, Sarah would have still looked for an excuse to be distant.

Kyle sighed went outside where he sat in his favorite chair. He had been doing a lot of thinking lately. If Pops was successful in convincing Sarah of sending Janet away, he would go with her. He wasn’t proud to admit it, but it is what he would do. Caitlyn and Mary were their jewels, but Janet needed more of his support. And he had already abandoned one son once, he wasn’t about to do the same with Janet.

“Hurts doesn’t it?”

He took out his gun from his belt and pointed it at her. “What are you doing here?”

“What? No hello to your daughter-in-law?”

“Get out.” Kate smirked and signaled to John. He came forward and greeted Kyle with a more cynical smirk. “Come on Kyle don’t be angry, you knew she was a time bomb. You must have known when you carried her in your arms and what was it you said to her? My little squirrel.” John said and he and Kate shared a good laugh at the memory.

“You have a lot of nerve showing up here John. You took away the only thing my daughter had left and for what? So you could settle a petty score with your parents? Just what kind of man does that? If you want to settle a score, shoot me motherfucker, don’t go after my daughter who need I remind you never did anything to either of you.”

“Jesus it is like staring in a mirror.” Kate said finally feeling that frustration that John must have felt when he talked to his spoiled sister. “You know that is how whiny your daughter was from what John tells me when he went to visit her. Seriously." She turned to John. "No wonder you hate her.”

“Stop it Kate, dial it down a bit, because Kyle here gets too sentimental here. Your daughter really takes after you Kyle, you should be very proud of her except that she is nothing but a loser who cries every time something bad happens to her. Not soldier material.”

“You did that to her John. You made sure she remained friendless and an outcast and you were the one who drilled that idea into those bullies to pull that prank on her. Your own sister!”

“Yeah well she deserved it for being your daughter. I am only sorry that you are still too stupid to see the truth that she will never like the great John Connor and for once mom is right, dad. You are wasting your time with an imbecile like her.”

“Don’t call me that. I am not your father.”

“Why deny what is in front of you Kyle? Look around you, do you hear that? That is the roll of the dice and not you, not her, and certainly not your useless daughter can prevent what is coming.” He chuckled as his father’s hand began to tremble. “Better luck siring a strong offspring next time Kyle. Tell mom I said hi and tell my sister enjoy what little she has left.” He said then took Kate’s hand and disappeared.

Kyle went back inside, to his and Sarah’s bedroom and placed the gun in one of his drawers. “Damn it!” He swore, not caring if he woke his three sleeping daughters. He wished he was as cold as Sarah wanted him to be, so he could blast that motherfucker’s head off. Even if he knew that wouldn’t do the trick, he wanted to. _He took my daughter’s innocence away, he’s made her miserable._ And he wasn’t going to stop until either one of them was dead or she joined him. _But he is also my son._ It hurt his head just thinking about it. John had been his friend, his mentor for more than half of his life and discovering he was his son intensified his feelings for him. But now he was the father of three girls, and they were his priority.

 _What to do? What to do?_ Sarah was right, he had to keep it together and do what was best for all of them. But no matter what he did, John would follow them and if he followed Pops’ idea than John could easily get to Janet; but if he didn’t he risked his entire family’s safety. _If only things were easier._ He passed a sweaty hand through his dark hair. He wasn’t going to give up on his family. _John can make all the threats he wants. This family is going to stay united._

* * *

 

Janet closed her eyes and imagined herself in another realm, in another time. There she was, standing in front of millions of drones, commanding them to bring her the head of John Connor. None of them were brave enough to do it. Capable, yes but not brave. And therein lies the difference. You can be brave or capable but only a few can be brave and capable and John Connor was all of that combined into one –along with his great talent to inspire loyalty and mobilize men like it was the easiest thing in the planet.

But behind those corny speeches and fierce outlook was a man scarred by destiny and she knew she was part to blame for that. The first John didn’t care about destiny, and he didn’t even care about Sky Net. His number one priority was fighting for mankind, because he was part of mankind but when Sky Net sent one Terminator back in time to wipe out his existence, it didn’t count on creating a whole new set of problems that led to not one but infinite timelines with different John Connors, all keen on wiping Sky net out no matter what.

This new John Connor was relentless and ruthless just as Sky Net, only difference was that for all his ruthlessness he was still human and Sky net could still hurt him by targeting the people he loved.

 _“That was my first mistake.”_ Sky Net said, turning, looking straight at her and she woke up.

 _Damn. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I still have this visions. Could it be John planted them on me?_ No, that couldn’t be it. John was a master manipulator, but he wasn’t a telepath like she and her sisters. His manipulating skills were the product of his rearing –more specifically, their mother’s rearing. But that didn’t change the small fact that John’s words stayed with her and she kept having these visions.

_Could it be that he is just right? No, he can’t. If me and my sisters were really Sky Net or an extension of Sky Net or whatever you want to call it, then shouldn’t we be homicidal freaks?_

_You are a freak –_ her brain told her. “Yeah but that is different.” She said to herself. It was weird, debating with herself. When she was little, and her dad saw her levitate one of her dolls and she quickly stopped it so he wouldn’t figure out her little secret (that she knew he was snooping around), he told her that she could do many great things if she set her mind to it and taught her to paint.

He was terrible but he was funny about it, joking that it was one of his many disadvantages growing in the post-apocalyptic future. _“But I worked and solved problems and one of my greatest gifts –or gifts I wanted to have was this.”_ He said and pointed to the lame drawing he’d made. _“Draw?”_ She asked. He shook his head _. “No, honey. Creativity. I wanted to rebuild my house, use my hands for other than –well, I’ll tell you someday.”_ He did tell her, sadly her mom made him because she wanted her eldest daughter to grow strong like her brother before he was turned.

 _My sisters are right. Parents are weird and not weird for the right reasons but weird for all the wrong reasons. If I am ever a mom, I will never be like that. I’ll be the coolest mom ever –with the exception of my twin girls because I don’t think I can handle twin girls._ Not like her sisters –They were confident, determined, extrovert, everything she was *not* -and that made her envious. Not all the time, but most of the time.

Then she remembered what her mother told her “Soldier up” and “forget about your feelings. Your father and I have been at this for years, you don’t see us crying.” And she took out her cell phone and called Trey. _Mom is right –to a point. I am going to soldier up but not because I am going to be this fearless leader she and dad want me to be, but because I am going to be the girl –woman- I want to be._

“Hey this is Trey leave a message.”

“Trey, this is Janet, I am ready for that date now.”

* * *

 

“She’s still on the phone with Trey.” Mary told her sister and sister-in-law –Kate. “Really? Is that so?” Kate asked showing fake interest in the news.

Mary nodded. “Daddy says she’s not allowed to date anyone until she is older but mommy is not so afraid. Just as long as she doesn’t do anything bad, everything is fine.”

“Do you think she’s going to burn the school again? That would be a shame, I like this school and I like this town. People are very friendly here.” Caitlyn said.

“If that happens, John and I will take care of it.” Kate said then lowered her voice, hearing Kyle’s heavy footsteps. “I have to go but remember what I told you. We are always watching and after our last confrontation, your daddy gets it.” She gave them a special gift from her and John.

They gasped. “It’s the glasses.” They exclaimed.

“Shh, it will be our little secret, ok?” They nodded and put them back in their case and hid them under their pillow. When their father came she was already gone. It didn’t take him long to figure out she’d been here. Their daughters were sharing that secretive smile that said everything and the window was open.

 _Smart John but not that smart._ John was certain he had his youngest daughters in his pocket and used his wife to further indoctrinate them into his crazy post-apocalyptic messiah crap. _You aren’t going to win this time John. I failed you but I am not going to fail my kids._

* * *

 

John pulled himself closer to Kate, wrapping his arms around her waist. He’d missed her scent –not her scent in the traditional sense- but her scent as in her, everything that made her her. She was beautiful. And now she’d always be this way thanks to him.

He didn’t want this for her. Eternity wasn’t a gift –he thought at the time- but she’d asked her for it and he said yes because he was selfish and because deep down he didn’t want to spend another moment regretting and wondering about what-ifs. Just for once, he was going to live in the now.

As two hybrids, they didn’t feel any cold. They felt pain –occasionally –but it was minor compared to what humans felt. Tonight however they’d felt cold and they turned on the thermostat, and pushed their covers up to their waists. Still, they felt no change. It was as if something had overtaken them and it scared him.

When he closed his eyes and muttered “I love you” to her ear, he saw his sister, not Mary or Caitlyn, but his loser sister. Crying on the bathtub, crouched and pathetic as she’d been then when he visited her, begging him to stop and asking him why he hated her.


	7. Laughing When You Fall

_""Would you forgive me_  
for the demon I've become  
You should be sorry  
For the angel you are not  
I apologize  
for the cruel things that I did  
but I don't regret one single word I said."  
~Walk Away by Five Finger Death Punch

_"I ca_ _n’t do this anymore Kate.”_

John woke up. His wife was next to him, sleeping. Kate had asked for this. He told himself many times but no matter how many times he did, in the back of his mind he thought back to the first Kate, the one he dreamed after he traveled to this time. She was fair, beautiful as the one he copulated with now, but there was a sadness in her eyes. The John she was with was faithful but he didn’t satisfy her. It was funny how the heart worked. His mother never taught him anything of fidelity, his father had through his actions. John had manipulated so he would fall in love with Sarah but the way he worshipped her and was willing to kill his own son to save her when Pops tried to put him in the quantum field, spoke of his true devotion to his mother. But in the back of his mind, there was always the doubt that he could lose everything in the same way his parents would lose everything. But John was with the woman he loved –a woman he had hurt in so many timelines, but who loved him fiercely –more fiercely than she loved him when he was simply John Connor. The man with a douchebag father and a clumsy waitress for a mother.

This, what he was now, was a man with a purpose, with a destiny to fulfill and he was determined to take back what was his by right.

He felt Kate stir and got closer, wrapping his arms around her waist. Destiny was all they had. She knew of his affairs of his past. She had seen them in her dreams. She had asked him if they meant anything to him. _Nothing._ He said. But sometimes he thinks she doesn’t believe him. Every woman he’d been with was anxious to meet the _legend_ , to boast of their time with John Connor. When he wasn’t fucking them, he played other games with them.  
He had no friends among his co-workers except for Danny, but Danny was getting older and starting to realize what he was. He never raised suspicion, neither did his father (while he was alive). Why would they when he had given them everything? And more importantly, they had not paid any heed to Kate’s agelessness.

“Do you think about it sometimes?” Kate had asked him the following night.

“About what?”

“You know what I am talking about.” She said. “Home, the future. The other Kates, the other women.”

“Don’t start.”

“I must know John. You’ve said to me many times that you don’t think about them but I see it in your eyes when we make love. It is always them that occupy your mind, it is always them you look at when you look away. Why?”

“I guess I feel guilty.” He said, speaking the truth for once about the subject. “They were a part of my life and when I did nothing –or the first John Connor did nothing. Nobody said a word, but you were unhappy. However when it was me, you were happier. You would look away from the women and say they didn’t matter but I knew they did, yet you stayed and when we made love, you said you would never leave me under any circumstance and you never did.”

“Did I really die by your hand?” He nodded. “Good,that means I don’t have to deal with a time paradox o more precisely have to share you with another jealous Kate.”

He smiled at that and kissed her.

* * *

 

Caitlyn and Mary had fun playing with their glassed, they hid them when their mother came. “Hey, what are you doing now? Playing imaginary hide and seek?”

“Don’t be silly mom, we stopped playing that when we were six, now we play pretend party with boys.” Mary answered her.

Sarah blinked, very surprised with their daughter’s revelation. She would have expected two years more until they became interested in boys. “Oh goodness.” She said putting both hands on her hips. “I am not old enough to have this conversation with you. You should not be talking about boys, especially when your father is in the house.” If Kyle heard about this, he would go into shock. Throw a fit then call them every two seconds to make sure they weren’t talking with their boyfriends. That dreaded age –as she called it- came too early. “You keep these things between us, ok? And I don’t want to hear you giggling and thinking about boys until you are fifteen.” She lowered her voice “or hopefully never.”

One problem at a time.

“Don’t worry we won’t tell dad.” They said and Sarah knew they would just to make explode because it was fun picking on Kyle.

She let it go and went back to her bedroom.

“Hey Janet. Did you have fun with your new boyfriend?” Their older sister rolled their eyes at them and went straight to her bed. Since Janet had been caught practicing her telekinesis, their parents ordered their rooms become one. “Come on sis, she is too busy to discuss love with us. Mua, mua.”

“Stop it. He is not my boyfriend. He’s just a guy who happens to be my friend.”

“That’s the same thing.” Caitlyn said whispering something in Mary’s ear which made her giggle.

Janet threw a pillow at them which stopped in mid-air and they returned at her. “Can’t you be quiet for once and not but in my business?”

“My business –she says. Your business is our business Janet or in case you forgot the whole freakish accident at San Francisco High.”

Janet turned her back at them. She didn’t need reminding.

“Poor Jan, we’ve done it now. Come sis, I have more stuff to tell you about those two love birds.” Mary said to her twin sister.

“You are not going to enter my mind if that is what you’re planning!” Janet snapped turning to them. They snickered. “I mean it, you two are out of bounds there!” Her mental shields went up, blocking them.

* * *

 

Stan was not going to stay here any longer, waiting for answers. Since the accident, he devoted himself to finding out about the whereabouts of Janet Connor-Reese and her family. Herman Elton were her last, last names because they had to do with her parents’ favorite artists and ancestors. If he had any luck, he would find her again. He just had to try harder.

“Damn you google.” He had tried every search engine and so far no luck. And his mother wasn’t helping.

“Stan, come down for dinner. Your father has a new surprise for you.”

“I know mom, I saw it. He wasn’t that careful.” His mother smiled a sad smile. He knew she loved the element of surprise and the sense of normalcy that was part of his family before *it* happened. He gave her a small smile, his tone softened. “I will go down in a minute, I promise. I just have to finish this paper first.”

“Don’t take too long Stanley. I know you love this girl-“

“Mom please.”

“But it’s best you forget about her.” She said and left, closing the door behind her, leaving her son to his own devices.

She wished that he could move on like his sister who narrowly avoided death by opting out of the last dance and calling a cab at the last minute. But she hadn’t been there, he had and he had seen all of his friends die, including his girlfriend Gwen. A part of his felt angry and guilty because deep down he knew this was his fault. If he never played that prank on her, she wouldn’t have killed those people. He would still be alive and so would Gwen, and Janet would have gone on living, inconspicuous.

 _But John Connor._ That son of a bitch would have still followed her but without much success. _I caused this. I have to remedy it._

_I owe it to her._

He then remembered something. What had Janet said about herself before John appeared, in his true form, threatening to kill them? _I am human, part of me is still human and I will always be human._

“Human.” He whispered to himself. It was part of a book. Her favorite book. She had seen her reading that book every English class. She said it was her favorite because it reminded her that deep down even a freak like her could still feel human. And there was a character in that book which was called …

“What was it?”

Bingo!

“Jane Winters.” He searched the database for any name in the nearby high schools. Hacking into the public school’s database was easy. Almost every kid with an understanding of how a cell phone worked could do it but almost all of them were wuzes because they were afraid they would get caught and nowadays the penalty for cyber-crimes amounted to five thousand bucks.

“And since my parents don’t have the time to pay all that money … now let’s see. There you are. Found ya.”

Janet Winters –The Computer screen read. Her picture wasn’t as he remembered her. Her hair looked slightly lighter and straighter, not wavy as her mom and dad, but it was definitely her.

Age: 17

Mother: Rebecca Rachel Winters

Father: Jacob Isaac Winters

If he were deeply religious as his mother, he would find this in poor taste but thankfully he didn’t give a shit about the bible so he didn’t think much about this coincidence. He printed the sheet and closed his laptop. He put the printed sheet inside his drawer where his mother never opened. There was nothing there except junk and old collectibles.

Stan ran down to the living room, giving his parents an earnest smile for the first time in years. He was filled with a new sense of purpose. He was going to find Janet and apologize to her, hopefully taking the pain off his chest, but most of all he was going to get to her before John Connor did.


	8. Mirror, mirror on the wall

_** ** _

_**“We were never welcome here,**_  
_**we were never welcome here at all**_  
_**It’s who we are**_  
_**Doesn’t matter if we’ve gone too far**_  
_**Doesn’t matter if it’s alright**_  
_**Doesn’t matter if it’s not ok**_  
_**Who will save us from what we are**_  
_**Don’t look too clear, it’s all uphill from here.”**_  
_**~Who we are by Imagine Dragons**_  
  
_**“Mirror, mirror on the wall show a girl some little light.”**_  
_**~Evie from The Descendants music video**_

(Janet POV)

There are times when you feel like life is pushing you into a corner and you ask yourself why am I still fighting? When that happens, I do what my mom usually does. Or, I would if I wasn’t such a ninny –as my two sisters- love teasing me about. The sad truth is that no matter how hard I try, I have lost the will to live. I am not suicidal by any means, but there is nothing more for me –that I feel- that can set me free.

My dad has constant nightmares about the future. His future. And the other him can’t stop thinking about mom. I know because I can hear his thoughts –at least when he’s asleep. I think it has to do something  with being related because I can’t do it to others. He dreams of mom and what his life would be like if he was the one in my dad’s place.

I put down my pencil and look at the mirror. I know I am human, even when I don’t feel like I am. I am. If I wasn’t, then why do these feelings feel so real? Isn’t human all about being insecure, imperfect, and doubting your own existence?

“That’s what distinguishes us from the machines.” Dad always says, but I think mom doesn’t think that way. Every time I see her looking at me, she turns away and pretends there is something in her eye. It’s a lie of course, but I can see what she is thinking without having to read her mind when she’s asleep.

She is afraid of me. They all are –even Pops. That old bot is unreadable but I can feel it, just as I feel John whenever he’s close. They think I am one step closer to losing my mind.

 ** _“They say we are crazy … They say we are crazy.”_** I chuckle. Mom is singing with my sisters again. I close the door of our bedroom and go back to doing my homework.

* * *

 

“What are you doing John? You are just delaying the inevitable. If you want to make her suffer, that's fine but don't drag us into it."

"It's not that simple."

"John, all you have to do is push the trigger and drive her insane. Why hesitate?” Kate asked him putting her hand on his shoulder. Despite her transformation she was still a head shorter than him. When he asked her why she still opted for that look, she quoted from her favorite Greek play that nothing was worse than a Queen who knew her worth and who was perceived as weak by her enemies. John chuckled. He had to remind himself that this wasn’t any woman, this was Katherine Brewster, daughter of the great general Robert Brewster. _When this is all over, you and I will look back on this and smile at their devastation._ With so few to rescue, they would enjoy watching the others drown.

Kate took the blindfold from John’s eyes, and persisted on killing the girl. “She is only going to cause us trouble and you don’t want her finding out where we are or she will squeal back to your father.”

“He is my father too Kate, and Kyle won’t do nothing. I know him too well. He will tell Sarah and the two will fight over her and as usual she will take the brat’s side.”

“It could be easier if you just transform him.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? You did to me, just as Alex did to you.”

“That was different. You agreed and I had no choice. I am not going to force Kyle into something he doesn’t want. It has to come from him.”

“That’s very noble of you John but it doesn’t help us at all. You have to decide: us or them. It’s time to show your father who she really is.” Kate suggested. If John couldn’t put the trigger then surely he could manipulate Reese in doing it.

But John watching the young girl going outside to read, softened his heart. It was a strange thing to think about, that he could still have a heart underneath all that duress that Sky Net had made of him, but watching his sister so at peace, opened something in him he didn’t think he still had. But it was gone at once when Kyle came, sat next to her and whispered something in her ear which made her laugh and the two then embraced.

“See?” Kate said with triumph. “Kill her John, make him do it. Make him see what she is.”

~o~

Stan thanked the taxi driver and gave him a big tip. If his dad could see him now in this hick town he’d laugh. _“Didn’t we leave so we’d never come back to shit holes like this_?” He’d say. Before moving to San Francisco with the rest of his friends, they had lived in a small town in Colorado. Funny town, people were ok for the most part but the assholes were unbearable. They spouted nonsense and were into weird conspiracy theories that involved everything from aliens, government experiments and robots. He always scoffed at the last one. When he was five, he swore he and his friends saw a spaceship but then it turned out to be a weather balloon. But Allan, one of his friends, claimed that when he was in the military, his dad had worked in a special weapons projects that targeted civilians for research purposes and they were in league with Cyberdine to develop an army of robots to combat their enemies abroad.

The idea seemed far fetched at the time but who knew. It turned out to be true all along. He thought of contacting Allan, but he was always distant. When he wasn’t playing video games or spouting nonsense in his blog, he was out getting drunk and getting into fight with other drunks.

 _Maybe I should give him a call. If this shit with Cyberdine is real, I could really use his help._ The first step was making contact with Janet without Connor and his crazy bitch spotting him. _That will be fun._ –He thought. John Connor wasn’t the type of man to wait for the other party to make the next move, if he wanted somebody dead, he’d kill him without hesitation. As for his wife, he was far more scared of her. When she had been their gym teacher she had been ruthless. He remembered one time his friend Eric tried to play a prank on her and she forced him to climb the rope. Something Eric shouted was physically impossible given his big bones condition. Katherine Brewster scoffed and said that if he didn’t he would tell the whole school what a whore his mother was. It was no secret. Everyone knew that Eric’s mother wasn’t exactly conventional, but if she offered proof of the stuff she did, it would be the end of his social life –and theirs too. Nobody liked associating with the kid whose mother was a two times slut.  
Poor Eric. He never felt sorrier for that asshole as he did at that moment. He fell and ran to the showers, screaming and crying. Next thing they knew, he suffered a heart attack while they were at free period. His mother tried to sue but Kate’s father pulled strings so the school could keep this quiet, and paid a small amount to Eric’s mom.

 _We were too blind to see it._ His best friend always suspected something weird in that woman, but he didn’t want to see it. He wasn’t like his friends or his ex-girlfriend. He had always been a skeptic. He trusted in reason, in what his eyes saw, not in what he wanted to see.

After Janet killed everyone in the school though, he felt less of a skeptic and more of a believer. Not enough to believe the crazy theories his late friends believed, but enough to doubt everything he saw on TV. If John Connor was really after Janet, then he had to warn her.

“Hey!” he shouted at one of the bystanders near the school. “Do you happen to know where River St. is?”

“Yeah, just pass Marigold Avenue then make a left then a right, many nice houses there. It’s right near the projects. You can’t miss it.”

“Thanks man.”

Stan arrived to Janet’s house. Before he could knock at her door, he was stopped by two figures. “What are you doing?” Her twin sisters asked. “Janet is not here, she is out with her new boyfriend, Trey.”

“Oh, she has a new boyfriend? Well good, that is good. Um, listen if you see her can you keep this a secret between the four of us. Don’t tell your dad ok?”

“We won’t but we might tell mom, she doesn’t trust Janet too much and Pops has been saying to put her in a safe house so she doesn’t kill everyone again.”

“Pops, I mean the machine, said that?” They nodded. “Do you know where your dad is?”

“You said we shouldn’t tell.”

“I know that but this is important. You can’t tell but I must find your dad and talk to him as soon as possible. Do you know where he is?”

The twins shared a look of amusement, grinning as an idea came to them _.  It will be brilliant_ –they thought.

“What?”

“We will show you.” They said in unison. “But first you must come with us, we have something special to show you.”

“Look girls, I don’t have time for this, I need to speak with Janet and your dad. It’s urgent.”

“You will get to speak with Janet, but first you have to see this. It will be worth your time. We promise.” Mary said taking his hand and leading him to the woods where their sibling and companion waited for them _. When they see our new toy, they will be happy._

“Yeah, trust us.” Caitlyn said flashing an innocent smile, the same one that always won her parents over.

 

* * *

 

"Dad have you seen Mary and Cat?”

“No, I thought they were with you. Hey come here I want to show you something. See this?” She nodded.

“What is it?”

“This is a ring, or part of it that I gave to your mom before Pops accidentally stepped on it. I have been adding more stuff to it ever since.”

“Why don’t you take it to a shop? It would be less expensive. Trey’s dad has one, I can tell him to give you a discount.”

“No. I prefer to do this on my own. Trey is your new boyfriend I take it?” She blushed. “Janet, you don’t have to tell me anything, its ok. I know you are of an age to go dating boys but I want you to be careful, you remember what happened last time with Stan.”

“Trey is different. He cares. I can tell.” She told him. He smiled. She was very beautiful, not just on the outside. “Just promise me you’ll be careful, ok?”

“I promise and thanks dad for not flipping out on me.”

“Hey, I have always trusted you and I always will.”

"I wish mom could say the same. She is always so mad at me, I just want her to be proud."

"She is but your mom has been through a lot. It's hard for her to open up to people but trust me, she loves you. I wouldn't say this if it wasn't true."

He put his hand on her cheek. "Never stop being who you are in here" he pointed to her head then her heart" and here. Now go, before your mom thinks I am being too corny again." 

Kyle watched her go. He sighed and passed his hand through his dark brown hair. He wished he could confide in Janet his fears, but god damn him, he was just as secretive as her and didn’t want to worry her. Sarah was getting more paranoid and they argued often about what to do with her. He told her that if Janet goes, he goes as well. Sarah couldn’t let him do that, she loved him as much as he loved her but Janet was special. She was his daughter. She needed him, she was better than him, than Sarah, better even than John.

It hurt him to admit it, but John was a troubled man. His friend, his father figure, his son had had too much on his plate and he took it out on his sister because she reminded him of the life he could have had. He knew that the bastard would strike against his daughter in the most damaging way possible –through him. John wanted Kyle to hate her as much as he hated Sky Net. _That’s not going to happen John._ Just like he told Sarah in 1984, he would die protecting her.

Janet had an inner beauty that very few people, and her tears and her ability to pick herself up afterwards were a reminder of what they were fighting for. 

* * *

 

In the woods, Stan was getting tired. For two little girls, they sure could walk very fast. _Damn robots. Damn Sky Net_ –he thought. He was starting to regret his decision to come here. _Just think Stan, you could have stayed home, drink some of your sister’s horrible cocoa and play with her douchebag boyfriend but oh no, you had to be the hero again._

His mind went back to Janet’s smile when he told her how beautiful she was, and how scared she’d been after she realized the people she killed. _It is for her I am doing this._ He was not going to give up. _I mustn’t._

“Almost there.” They said. Stan prayed this was over soon, the motel he was staying in wasn’t the best in town, but he could really use the heater right now.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the two girls’ eyes shining red as they spotted their two best friends coming from their hiding spot. “We are here.” Caitlyn said, both sisters let go of his hands and joined their sibling and companion.

Stan tried to run but John was faster than him, his screams were drowned by the girls’ laughter.


	9. This Is What I Could Have Been

**_"All is well but I have not been to paradise_ **  
**_Toll the bell watch the days go by_ **  
**_Twenty first century dies ..._ **  
**_I fear my days are numbered_ **  
**_Lord get me out of here_ **  
**_All is well but I have been to paradise_ **  
**_No, I have not been to paradise ..._ **  
  
**_This is your shadow on my wall_ **  
**_This is my flesh and blood_ **  
**_This is what I could have been_ **

**_And the wheels are turning and on turning_ **  
**_as the twenty first century dies_ **  
**_If time had not stood still..."_ **  
**_~I have not been to Paradise by Zoe Poledouris_ **

 

(Janet POV)

If there was one thing I hated was waiting. When I was a kid, it seemed like my parents knew everything, until I learned that they knew less about everything than me. I’d like to think that everybody is a monster deep down, that way I don’t feel as bad as I do every time I look at myself in the mirror. But doing that would mean taking the same road that my brother takes and that is not a road I want to take. I don’t want to become like him, but I don’t want to be defined by what I did either. I want to be known as me –I want to be normal, free of destiny, free of this.

I put down the pen and store my diary in my drawer. I am tired of this. When I go to sleep I can hear him, in my sisters when they speak and chase me across the street, in my dad when he tells me that he will always protect me and ends up dead, in my mom when she tells me I am her greatest disappointment. He is with me, in me, all around me.

“Why I couldn’t just be normal for once?” If I hadn’t been born, my parents would have been happier. My sisters are everything a parent wants in a child. They are funny, beautiful, strong, and even John and that bitch of his, Kate, love them.

“Normal is not an option for me. Great, I may just sleep and wish that I will never wake up.” Now that is a thought I can look forward to. But last time I thought about suicide something stopped and at the time I thought it was the Sky Net in me, the thing that Pops said that was within all machines that stopped them from killing themselves. But it was more than that. There was something within me –yes- that prevented from killing myself, but it wasn’t that. It was something else. _An inner strength._

I laugh at that. Strength, yeah me. I am anything but strong, I am weak. I cry, I hug myself when nobody is looking, and when somebody is looking, it is usually my mom who comes and forces me to stand up and look at her directly in the eye, and tells me to stop crying and be tough for once. “You are a Connor and you are a Reese. Life is unfair, get used to it. There are people who want to hurt us, who want to hurt you and staying like this, locked up in your room and crying is not going to do you or us any good.”

In other words man up. Get your fucking act together.

There must be a law against treating your kid this way. Is this what John felt growing up with a bad ass mom whose closest thing to being sweet was praising him for not crying when he fell?

“Moms, they are the closest thing to God’s love. Yeah right. What a joke.” I was screwed. I was born screwed and I would die the same way I came into this world, hated and alone.

“Maybe I should just let him kill me next time he comes around.” God only knew it would be much better for my parents and for everyone. The threat to the world, Sky Net, finally averted.

I closed my eyes and let sleep take me again. This time, strangely, there are no dreams of John, my sisters chasing me across the forest, or my dad dying at my hand by one of the terminators I  sent in other timelines, or my mom crying his death and cursing me. In their place is Stan, kneeling over me, begging for my forgiveness. “Stan.” I say. He looks up and says one word “Run.” And I do but when I turn back he is no longer there. I feel something cold approaching, his icy hands reach mine and he tells me in a calm, steady voice that sends chills down my spine “I can’t be bargained with, I can’t be argued with, I don’t feel remorse or pity and I won’t stop until Sky Net rules this Earth.” I realize it’s Stan and I scream “No!” and try to run away but he is faster than me and grabs me by the neck. And that is when I wake up and hear a heavy knock on the door.

“Dad! Dad!” I open his door, he is there with mom. The two are arguing again. “Get Pops, we have to get out of here.”

“What happened? Janet, wait up! What the hell is going on?” Dad asks me but a flash of fear crosses mom’s face as she recognizes my expression, it is the same one that she must have had when the T-1000 attacked her parents.

“Shit, he is here.” She put the guns in the bag underneath their bed and went for my sister but they were gone. She grabbed me and pinned me against the wall. “Where is Mary and Caitlyn? Where are they?!”

“Sarah, stop.”

“She knows where they are Kyle. I know you three share a link. Where are they?” My whimpers must have triggered an alarm bell on dad because he pushed mom away from me and whispered something in her ear which calmed her down.

“Kyle if he hurt one hair of their heads, so God help I swear I will kill him.” She said. Her voice shook, I had never seen my mom cry until now.

“Shh, it will be okay, I promise. I won’t let them hurt them, I promise. I will protect you all.” He said and mom believed him, hugging him back. At that moment Pops comes. “Katherine and John Connor know we are here, we must neutralize the boy first.”

“Boy, what boy? Pops what is going on?”

Pops looks at me and nods so I can tell mom the story. I wonder if he knew about my mental connection with Mary and Cait, and the rest of my family, or if mom is the one who told him. “I had a dream.”

“About who?”

“It was all of us, I saw what I –Sky Net-“ I rephrased. There was no use thinking of myself as Sky Net, since the two of us were very different entities. “did to you and dad in my brother’s timeline and … “

“What? What!” Mom yells shaking me again. This time dad doesn’t do anything to prevent it, he wants to know as mom what is going on.

“I saw John turning Stan.”

Mom let go of me and cursed under her breath. “Shit! Shit! Fuck!” Dad is disappointed I can tell. He and I made a promise that we would always tell each other’s secrets. “Why didn’t you say he was in town? Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? What Stan’s parents must be going through right now?”

“I am sorry mom, I didn’t think Stan would be coming here.”

“You didn’t think? He has been pining over you for years, you could have told us he was here from the beginning.”

“I wanted to but I wasn’t sure he was the person I saw in my dreams and then the e-mails. I thought they were some scam or someone playing a prank.”

“Janet, you don’t keep things like this a secret. We are your parents, you are supposed to tell us these things. God damn it, Pops let’s go through the back door, and get the car started. Kyle come with me.”

Dad obeys, following her like a lost puppy, before throwing me another disappointed glance.

“Janet Connor, it was unwise of you not to tell your parents. Stan Marsh turned by John Connor and Katherine Connor puts us at a strategic disadvantage.”

“How was I supposed to know that he would follow me here?”

“The boy likes you, and his feelings for you have allowed John Connor for you to fall right into his hands.”

“Do you think John will kill him, once he is done with him?” It took the former T 800 a while to respond. “John Connor doesn’t enjoy killing but his mate on the other hand is a different story.”

“What do you mean? Why does Kate hate me so much? I can understand John, to some extent but Kate? What did I ever do to her?”

“It is not what you did, what you represent.”

“But I did nothing to them. This war against us is pointless. If John wants to be happy, he can spend the rest of eternity with Kate, he doesn’t have to go after me for something I am not to blame for.”

“Your complaints are useless. John Connor wants what he believes is owed to him. You represent everything that he hates. Your mother told you to come with me, it is my mission to protect her and her offspring, therefore I cannot stress enough the importance that you think clearly. Stan Marsh was replaced at a cellular level, given the chance he will kill your parents if you don’t comply.”

“You are asking me to kill him, is that it? Become a killer like mom and you?”

“Yes.” The guardian said coldly. “Given your previous nature it should not be hard. You know how to shoot Janet Connor but you need to start thinking instead of feeling.”

Pops and I went to the backdoor. Surprisingly my parents were there with the twins. They were scolding them, for the first time yelling at them and telling them never to run away like that. Dad was pissed off and mom couldn’t bear to look at me.

 _But she looks at them._ A voice I knew all too well said in my head. I shook it off. _Of course she would be kinder to them. They are her favorites._

~o~

As Stan watched the Connors’ vehicle speed off, he struggled to walk. This can’t be happening. John seemed to guess his thoughts because he grabbed his shoulder and forced him to stand up straight and whispered in his ear “This is happening Stan. When this is over, you and Janet can have the ideal life you always wanted along with your parents.”

“Why are you doing this to me? You could have just killed me. It would have hurt Janet all the same.”

“Killing you would have made it much easy but Kate here tells me that you genuinely love her and would do everything for her.” Stan didn’t need to answer that, his eyes said it all.

John chuckled and let go of the kid. “You and I are going to do good business together Marsh.” He patted his back then left. Stan turned to Kate. “Why are you with that asshole? This isn’t you, that asshole did this to you.”

She smirked. “People always thought that about me and John but they never understood, the reason why he and me are always together is because we are one part of each other. John didn’t force me to be this way, I asked him to.”

“Then what Craig said is true, you are one sick fuck.” He hoped this would be the end of it, the pain was too unbearable and having to hear her life-story would make it worse but fate seemed to screw him over again because his insult only encouraged the bitch to talk.

“John and I would always engage in foreplay. When he wasn’t fucking other women, he was with me, until the me from his time couldn’t accept what he was and shot herself in the face. When he came to this timeline and found me, alone, and attacked by my ex-husband, he took me home.”

“And let me guess, the bastard turned you.”

“No, that is not how John works at all. John invited me to dinner and we started dating until Cyberdine announced the release of Genisys. He showed me what he was and what he had to offer. I wasn’t sure I wanted it, so he never asked me again. But then I saw the news and I headed straight to Cyberdine, there amongst the rubble was the Sky Net code, complaining about his demise and in the pool of polly-alloy was John, emerging like a newborn. His constituent parts had rebuilt themselves but he was weak and I did for him what he did for me three years prior, and took him home. He told me to leave but I didn’t leave him. I had seen what he suffered in my dreams and I told him that I would never leave him and that I would help him with his goal. He didn’t ask him why, I didn’t need to tell him. We both knew the answer. When Sarah fell pregnant with your girlfriend, I was her doctor. John made sure Kyle wasn’t present so he wouldn’t recognize me. Once there, I injected her with the code. Coupled with the nanites in her system, it made it easy for it to take over the embryo and nine months later voila, a little girl was born. John and I were so happy for them at first. Janet was going to be everything Sky Net couldn’t be, but then he saw it. Your girlfriends’ parents holding Jan in their arms, and his dad, telling her happier than he had ever seen him. That should have been John in his arms. He always did what his mother asked him to, and that is how you parents repaid him.”

“You are wrong. Janet didn’t do anything to the two of you, you did it to yourselves! Your fucking husband tried to kill his parents and then expected to be hugged?” Stan gave a twisted laugh. “Seriously? What did you expect was going to happen?”

“I can see why Janet likes you. You are smarter than you project, it’s a shame that your dearest friend Eric wasn’t smart.”

“You bitch-“

“Tut, tut, he attacked me first when he tried to shoot John after he found out what we were.”

“What are you going to do with Janet? You haven’t answered me why do you hate her so much?”

“Mary and Caitlyn are Sky Net’s offspring as well despite being their parents’ daughters, but Janet is more special because she is the first of her kind. John wants to protect her so she can take over the world, I on the other hand want to see her push to the verge of insanity.” She said then left the boy who fell once again on the floor writhing in pain as the last bit of the transformation took place.

~o~

John heard everything that Kate said. He wanted to make his sister suffer as well, but he had to bring out the worst in her so Sky Net could take over. _Mary and Caitlyn could still be useful. You should keep focusing on them._ That was true. Mary and Caitlyn were much better at this than their sister. Janet was strong (physically) but she was weak. She hated using brute strength and instead of practicing more like Sarah asked her to, she focused on her books, and listening to her music, pretending she was a normal teen. And stupid –he thought. _Nothing but a stupid little girl who has no idea of the gifts that she’s been granted._ Kyle was even stupider for letting his feelings get in the way of his thinking. _As always._ He always thought if he’d been allowed to be the father of the savior, he would have been a better thinker but it seemed like the opposite.

 _This girl ruins everything she touches._ His life, Kyle … It was no wonder why John hated her so much.

Kate took his hand. The two returned to their hotel room. By morning, she told him, the boy would be like them and then the fun would begin. He smiled. Slowly, his sister would see all her loved ones turned against her, and then when she had no one, the machine part in her would take over and Kyle would be forced to either continue to embrace her or kill her.

~o~

The last images Stan had before he lost consciousness were of a future he had envisioned for himself and Janet, one where there were no wars, no Sky Net, no Connors, just the two of them, alone in bed and smiling at each other.

_I am not going to let him win. I can't! **Give in** -he heard Sky Net's voice, using her voice. I_

_am not going to give in. I cannot ..._    
"Ah!" As if it was not humanly possible, the pain intensified and he screamed louder than before.

Just give in, Sky Net was shouting. You can have all that you ever wanted. Janet can be yours. She and you can live happily ever after, just as she's always wanted. She loves you and she will do everything to be with you.

"Can't you see?" He now heard her sisters' voice. "We've won."

"No!" Then he screamed her name "Janet." and soon as the name left his lips, his eyes flashed a bright blue then lost consciousness.

John couldn't possibly win, but he had. He had taken advantage of the strongest force in the universe, the one thing that Sky Net had never understood until now: love and the same tool that humans had used, that drove them to do impossible feats, would now be used to bring the Connors down.


	10. Waking Up

**_"I am waking up to ash and dust_ **  
**_I watch my brow and I am sweating my rust_ **  
**_I am breathing in the chemicals_ **  
**_I am breaking in_ **  
**_shaping up then breaking out of the prison bus_ **  
**_This is it -the apocalypse!_ **  
**_(I'm waking up!)_ **

**_I feel it in my bones_ **  
**_Enough to make my systems blow!_ **  
**_Welcome to the new age, welcome to the new age_ **  
**_Radioactive, radioactive_ **  
**_I'm radioactive, radioactive_ **

**_I'll don my clothes_ **  
**_It's a revolution I suppose_ **  
**_We are painted red to fit right in_ **  
**_I am breaking in, shaping up_ **  
**_then breaking out of the prison bus_ **  
**_This is it -the apocalypse!"_ **  
**_~Radioactive by Imagine Dragons_ **

“Mommy?”

“Yes?”

“Is Janet going to go crazy again?”

“It’s Janet going to turn crazy and no she is not.” Sarah told the youngest of the twins. Mary and Caitlyn could always sense what the other was thinking. When they were little they believed it was owed to them being identical twins. Sarah had read somewhere that twins had a special bond that no other sibling had. As they got older and they watched their children closely, they realized it was something else entirely.

“No matter what happens I am not going to let anything happen to you, ok?” Sarah hugged her daughter and Mary returned the embrace, kissing her mother’s cheek before she and her sister got back in the car.

While they were away, Kyle and Janet had been talking. Janet was afraid to look at her father in the eye. She had never seen him this mad before. He wanted to scream, to tell her how disappointed and foolish it was of her to keep a secret like that from them, but he refrained himself from doing it. Sarah was the strict one with the rules and the screams, he was the lax one, who would usually pick up the pieces and comfort her when Sarah was done yelling. But tonight he didn’t feel so lax. He let go of his last restraint as she opened her mouth to speak. The only word that came out was “I am sorry. I wanted to tell you, I was going to but I was afraid that you would go after Stan. I like it here, people have been very nice to me and I thought-“

“You thought what? That you could just lie your way into this and hope that everything would go away like your brother did? Things don’t work that way Janet. You are supposed to tell us everything. We had a deal.”

“I know but I was very scared-“

“Janet your mother and I have gone through a lot of trouble to cover up your tracks. You think we do this out of fun? We do this because we love you, we care for you.” I care for you! He wanted to scream. “I want to understand you, I really do but I can’t if you don’t confide in me.”

“Dad I was just so scared-“

“You said that already but being scared is not going to help and neither is moping and lamenting your fate. This is who we are, and if you don’t stop acting this way then your brother is going to succeed and kills us.” He said an insult underneath his breath and turned away. _Jesus!_ This was too much for him. When Sarah and the girls arrived, followed by Pops he started the car and got back on the road.

It would be another week before they found a good hotel with a room big enough for the six of them, and with no nosy attendants to ask questions. _Not to mention one with no rats_. He didn’t want to stay in another crappy hotel where their daughters screamed every night for the two of them to tuck them in bed because they were afraid rats would pull on their hair.

He didn’t want calling O’Brian. The man had done enough for them. And his grandkids were giving him a hard time for it.

~o~

“You shouldn’t have been too hard on her.” Sarah said when they reached the hotel. Pops was in the car, keeping watch. Kyle didn’t like him staying outside too much. People would ask questions.

“You are the one who’s always saying I should be harder on her.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. She loves you and she trusts you and you shattered that trust with what you said. She’s been crying all night and the twins can’t stop laughing.”

“Let them, maybe that will teach her a lesson to start trusting us for once.” Kyle said, instantly lowering his voice when the twins turn their heads at them.

“Just talk to her ok?” Kyle didn’t respond. He went into the next room, where Janet was pretending to be asleep on the sofa and sat next to her.

He sighed. What was he going to say? **_You’ve ruined it, you know that?_** _‘Shut up’_ Kyle told his conscience. He didn’t need that baggage of guilt right now. He had to fix this.

“Janet, I know that you do love us and that you are also scared, but this is not the moment to be afraid. There are people out there that want to kill us, and if the world finds out what you and your sisters they will turn you into lab-rats. That's how people are. We are capable of great things but also bad things. I am not saying this to scare you, I want you to be cautious and take this seriously. If anything were to happen to you, I don’t know what I’d do. I love you Janet. I failed John. Every time somebody asked him ‘sir what will you do after the war’ he would crack a joke without smiling, except when he was with me, and say ‘I will have a cold beer’. This was a man who only knew one life. I don’t want that for you.” Seeing she wasn’t going to respond, he gave up, stood up and kissed her forehead before he left.

Once she heard the door closed, Janet opened her eyes then squeezed them shut again, letting the tears flow freely from her eyelids.

* * *

 

 _It’s not fair._ Stan thought, coughing as he reached his home. His parents were banging on his door. Telling him to get out. He was tired of watching the cartoon parody of his town. Everybody knew that it was based on real life events, a crazy town where strange things happened. 

 _Why?_   Stan wondered at the same time that the cartoon character named after him asked his hated frienemy ‘why does it always have to be me?’ “Good question.” He said, clutching his stomach as he fell to the floor. What John Connor had done to him had an unexpected effect.

The machines could consume food, digest it or in the case of the advanced models, transform it into energy. But he on the other hand just threw it up.

“What the fuck is this?” He cried.

“Stan, I am not going to ask you this. Open this door right now or you are grounded for another week mister. Stan! God damn it.” His mother hissed then left, followed by her father. He could hear their footsteps, the sound of his sister’s as well as they went to their respective rooms.

He could also hear them, their heartbeats, and his own.

 _No, that’s impossible. I am not human anymore_. But he did. It was beating but it was slowing down almost as if “I am dying.”

No … He couldn’t die. He had wished for death when John transformed him, but now that he was finally experiencing it, he wanted to backtrack. If he died, his parents would call 911 and if that happened, John would find his way back to him and use his body to experiment on him as he had done with many models in his facility.

_I am not going to become a lab rat. I am not!!_

He heard Sky Net’s voice again. This time in the voice of Janet. He saw her. Standing before him, laughing at him. “You thought you could escape me, didn’t you?”

“Janet this isn’t you.”

“It is me Stan. It has always been me. When I am asleep I am free to be whoever I am.” Her eyes flashed red and he immediately knew who he was dealing. He spit at her.

“I see you’ve found the truth.” She said and her image split into two, shorter figures.

“John is not going to obey you. He is his own man as every goddamn human on this planet is. Mark my words, he is going to kill you if you give him the chance.”

“That is a chance we are willing to take unlike Janet. John wants what is best for humanity. Humanity is lip service to peace but it is a lie. The sooner you accept that like our other half, Janet, the sooner the pain ends for you. Why fight it?” Caitlyn asks, holding her sister’s hand. Projecting themselves into other people’s heads was impossible until John infected Stan.

“Because I am human and because I understand the value of human life and that is something you two will never understand.”

The twins smiled at each other. “It’s no wonder why Janet likes him. He is cute. If we were only five years older.”

“I know.” Caitlyn agreed.

“See you Stan, we will tell Janet you are doing better. She really cares about you, she’s been thinking about you all weekend. Make sure you come to visit her soon, she will be taken by surprise by your visit and no doubt she will be very pleased to see you changed.” The sisters disappeared, leaving him to his own devices.

When the transformation reached its last cycle, he stood up. In the same fashion when John Connor rose from the bullets that he had received from the T 800. He looked down at his hands, at his bloodied arms. It was not blood and it transformed into gray matter that went back into his body. He had never felt this good in his life.

And his mind! He could think clearer now. No more voices, no more doubts. Everything was clearer now, and so were his priorities.

~o~

“No.” Janet cried. She could feel it, deep down she knew what he’d become, but seeing him like that when she dreamed again was too much. “Come with me Janet. We can finally be together. You will be so loved by everyone, they will all bow down to you.” She refused him and ran away, waking up a second later.

I’m sorry. She wanted to scream aloud but she thought of what her father said and he was right. Moping around was not going to do her any good. She had to fight. And she was going to fight but not the way her parents expected to.

 _I am going to stop you John._ Her big brother wanted a fight, she was going to give him one but unlike her parents she wasn't going to play into his hands.  _You make your own rules John, so will I._

* * *

Sarah was nervous (though she did not show it). Pops told them that one of the attendants suspected them of being the terrorists from nineteen years ago. “How the hell could he have known?” he asked him and Pops told him he was one of those conspiracy freaks. Not so freaks right now –Sarah considered- since everything he thought of them was right –except the terrorist part.

Sarah told her family to move. Kyle still being angry, raised his voice and told them they had no time to pack and forced the girls to leave their dolls behind and take only what they needed. Inside the car, they discussed where they would go next. If the nuclear apocalypse was still going to happen, Pops said it was best they headed south where they could reach the border and seek refuge inside one of the abandoned military bases.

 _“We will contact Enrique and hope that his son receives us, if not then we get our stash and keep moving.”_ He said, giving their two youngest daughters a wink. Sarah smiled and also did a similar gesture for them, when she turned to Janet however, her smile faded.

She tried loving her, and she did, but every time she talked to Janet she felt strange … and Janet always acted distant whenever she was around her mother. It hurt Sarah, that she felt these things about her eldest daughter. She wanted to get as close to her as to her sisters. She had picked up her dress for prom and was excited to dress her herself and brush her hair like she tried when she was a kid before she started crying and asking her dad to do it instead. But that was never to be. Their daughter was one of a kind, and that was what made Sarah so afraid, not just for her but for her family.

If it came down to them and Janet, she would always choose Kyle and her daughters. Mary and Caitlyn had a fighting spirit in them, and regardless of what John and Kate had said to them, they were their own people. They were not going to let anybody manipulate them, Janet on the other hand was too emotional and this was life and death. Emotions got you killed.

When they reached their next hotel, she tucked the girls in bed. They were close to being teenagers, but Sarah still felt like they were children. _Someday I am going to tell you two why your dad and I have these bad dreams, and why I am afraid of your sister and why I also love her despite what she did._ She watched them fall asleep. It was a ritual for her, staying there with them until they closed their eyes. Next to them, at the far right of their bed was their eldest sister.

Sarah passed her hand through Janet’s hair. She always wondered why was it that she was the only one of her children who got Kyle’s looks. The twins had Kyle’s bright blue eyes but her light brown hair with strikes of auburn and light olive oil skin. So does John. She shook that thought away. _John Connor is not my son._ She told herself.

Whatever Sky Net had done to him, he ceased to be her son when he became Sky Net’s pet.

 _I shouldn’t think of him._ But she did. Every night she made love to Kyle, and whispered his name and Kyle told her how much he loved her, she thought of John and what life could have been like if they had him in their arms, if they had given him what he never had. But it was no use thinking of what could have beens. This was the future, and they were all humanity had.

 **If we die, mankind dies with us.** She heard that voice whisper in her head. She dreamed of Kyle’s world and the many lives she led in other timelines. _I am not going to let that happen –_ Even if it killed her, she was going to do everything to make sure that John never succeeded and if needs be, he would take a bullet for her daughters, to spare them from becoming Sky Net’s pet, or worse their brother’s slaves.

She didn’t think much of Kate Brewster until the incident at the prom where she asked Kyle and Pops all about her. Pops had detailed files about her, but Kyle was John’s right-hand-man so he had more to say about her.

 _“She was headstrong but also ruthless. John trusted her, but the people at the base also feared her. Some said that talking to her was like talking John.”_ She could already tell that that woman was going to be trouble. She wasn’t wrong. As soon as Janet disclosed all of her nightmares the night  before they got to their first hotel, Sarah argued with Kyle about what to do.

Kyle had confronted the two of them before but not shot them. This time however, he would have to, and if he didn’t –she told him- then she would _._ “I am not going to take second chances. If that woman comes near my children, I will kill her and I will make sure John watches me pull the trigger.”

She let Kyle wrap his arms around and tell her comforting things. After a hard day of playing with the twins and making sure that Janet was not too distant or silent, she needed it.

~o~

Kyle heard his wife utter the words he had been dreading her to say. He didn’t doubt that she would, or that she’d miss. She was a sharp shooter, better than John actually. But he still had reservations about destroying John. He had done it the first time because he had attacked Sarah and wanted to kill her, but this second time around, he wasn’t sure if he was up for it.

John wanted to see Kyle suffer, and the best way to combat John was to show him that he wasn’t about to be beaten. But he was losing faith in the mission. Protecting Sarah was one thing, but his family was another. He made a vow when he married her, that he would never let anyone touch a hair of her head and when their daughters were born, their names were added to his list.

Son or daughter-in-law, he was going to protect his family from anything. Yet, John was still his son.

“That is not going to happen.” Kyle said, hardening his voice as he was forced to say these words: “If worst comes to happen, I will do them both and us if they turn us.” He swallowed hard as he watched her, her beautiful dark blue eyes gaze at him.

“You promise?”

“Yeah.” He vowed and she responded him with a kiss. Soft and long that promised another long night, but hearing the girls giggle in the next room, they refrained from lovemaking. “Another night?”

“Another night.” She said, pushing the covers over their bodies.

“Although they are heavy sleepers.” He suggested and Sarah shook her head, lightly laughing.

“No chance Reese.” She said and closed her eyes. Shame, he really wanted this. Oh well, live to love another day. _And fight_ –his mind added.


	11. Love songs that kill me

**"Love songs that kill me,**  
love songs are killing me  
they are killing me right now  
Gone through the scenery  
the cons of tragedy  
are falling through scene once more  
Because I am already dead  
and I just cannot bare to hear another word no more."  
~Loves ongs that kill me by Cinema Bizarre

**Sixtus: “You can throw them into a dungeon but how can you control what’s up here? How do you control an idea –especially a new idea?”**

**Mesala: “Sixtus you ask how to fight an idea. I will tell you how: With another idea.”**

**-Ben Hur (1959)**

“Janet?”

“Hey, Trey how are you?”

“I am fine. How are you? I haven’t heard from you in weeks. You left with no note and I haven’t been able to reach you on facebook. It’s like you’ve gone off the grid.” He said. He sounded worried and Janet couldn’t blame him.

“Is something wrong? Did something bad happened? Janet give me an answer, if you are having a problem, you know you can tell me.”

She stayed silent for what seemed an eternity until Trey spoke to her again, softly, reminding her of Stan almost, but his tone continued to project the same worry. _Who am I kidding myself? I can’t get him out of my mind._ Just like her brother, he was there when she read, when she wrote, when she slept. He was not going to stop until he found her and forced her to choose between her kind and her family. “Janet are you there? Are you listening to me?”

“Yes, I am here.”

“Tell me where you are, I will come and pick you up. My parents are out of town for a business meeting. I am taking care of my brother, you and your sisters can stay with me.”

“No, I am sorry I shouldn’t have called. Good bye Trey.”

“Wait! Janet! Janet!” But she had already hung up.

He sighed then put the phone down and looked at the two corpses. Killing the brothers had been the easy part, the parents put up a stronger fight than he’d intended. “Just my luck. You can run and hide all you want Janet, destiny is still going to find you.” So far he got a lead from one of his former friends that they had been spotted near the border. If she made it to Baja then it was game over. This body was different from John and Kate’s, it could still inflict pain but it wasn’t strong enough to take on an entire arsenal.

He took his backpack and the keys to their parents’ car and left back to his home. He would have more time to search for her tomorrow. If he got home too late his parents would get suspicious, especially his mom who was always paranoid about something.

* * *

 

“Hey, what are you watching?” Kyle asked Caitlyn. Sarah had taken Mary to watch a horror movie. He told her that wasn’t a good idea but Sarah said that Mary never cried, and it was easier to watch scary movies with her since she was never afraid of them unlike Caitlyn. He suggested he take Janet as well, but Sarah immediately switched topics.

Kyle wasn’t even going to argue with his wife. Since they arrived to their humble abode, they had been having all sorts of problems. It wasn’t a bad house but it wasn’t nice as their other houses and it took plumber a week before they had hot water.

“Cosmo and Wanda. It’s the Fairy Odd Parents.” Caitlyn explained. “Mommy says that I should stop watching cartoon but she loves watching those stupid Bugs Bunny shorts on the Cartoon Network.”

“Hey those are not stupid, they are classics. My parents used to tell me all about those. So which episode is this?”

Caitlyn didn’t argue with her dad on that. He always defended her mom no matter what. “It’s the one where they have baby Puff and the magical authorities want to put him in an ice prison  because they think he’s dangerous. Dad, are you and mom going to do that to Janet?”

“Why would you say that?”

“I heard you guys talking the other day. Mary says you will because Janet can’t control her temper.”

“Your mother and I are just looking through very options but we would never consider abandoning Janet or any of you for that matter.” He assured her.

“Pops says that our brother was this big military leader before Sky Net got to him. But he never gives any specifics. What was he like?”

Kyle was literally transported back in time when her mother asked him that question. “He was … extraordinary. That is all I can say. He loved dogs as much as you and your sister do, but he rarely smiled  except when he was around Kate and me. He said before I was sent back in time that there was no other person like your mother and there never would be. Until you three.” Kyle said looking at her.

Caitlyn got closer and rested her head against his shoulder, feeling very pleased that her dad had confided in her for once before he did to Janet.

* * *

**(Janet POV)**

Being pulled out of school was the worst thing they could do me. I enjoyed learning, and I enjoyed digging into books for information. Other kids would go to the internet and ace their tests, but not me. I would do it the old fashioned way. I wanted to struggle, to know what true knowledge was like with the gratification that whatever I earned was based on my merits alone.

I went to the coffee shop outside the restaurant where my parents were dining with my sisters. Pops was back home, thinking I was asleep thanks to the recording I planted and the pillows underneath my bed. It was the oldest trick in the book.

Looking at mom and dad laughing, kissing my sisters, celebrating their twelfth birthday woke up something within me that I didn’t know existed. Anger. Hate. Rage. I wanted to become that person I had been during my prom and kill them all, but I shook these thoughts away. I wouldn’t become like my brother. Alone except for Kate, and so full of hate.

It dawned on me that I really pitied John. He could have been so much more if our parents hadn’t treated him the way they had when Pops came to the hospital and exposed him for what he had become, a Terminator programmed to bring about the end of the world. Except that wasn’t what John did. If he wanted to, he could have killed them right there at the hospital. Why didn’t he? Clearly he wanted them to live, so the three of them could be the family they never got to be.

 _Instead they got me._ My mom spent more time tutoring my sisters, and chastising me about how I am not this big leader I am supposed to be like them. I want to make her proud but I can’t without disappointing myself. If I go down that same path I will become like John and that’s not something I want to do.

I want to be my own person, free of judgments, free of this fate crap that they keep pushing down my throat. I want to do things differently and grow up to be an old woman so when I look back, I can look back with pride at the life I led.

“Stupid little girl.” I look up and see John approaching me.

Putting the book down I walk up to him. “You are far more serious than last time.”

“Get out.”

“Hang on there Janet, no how are you to your big brother? I bring you good news.”

“The only good news I will hear from you is when you say goodbye and promise not to come back.”

John ignored that. “Your sisters already told you that I brought a friend for the ride. He will be arriving any minute. You should really take my advice Janet and ease up on him. He really loves you.”

“What do you know of love? You transform everybody that doesn’t agree with you and treat them like your puppets. You wouldn’t know of love if it hit you in the face.”

“Yawn, that is how you sound you know. Very boring, I really hope you change your mind, the poor boy merits some credit. Nobody drives many miles for a simpleton like you. Especially one who is stupider than usual.”

“Why are you here John? You could have killed me when you had the chance. God knows your bitch wants me dead. She doesn’t stop saying that to my sisters every time we enter dream world.”

“God you are so pathetic. If my superiors heard me talking like that they would have given me a good beating. They never let any of the young ones talk that way to their elders. I expected your parents showed you better.”

“My parents taught me well, especially my father.” She said emphasizing on ‘my father’.

John squeezed his hand. Then calmed himself and chuckled. “You are very funny, but I have played this game longer than you little girl. Just accept what you are and get this over with before more people get hurt.”

“If you touch one hair of my family John I swear I will –“

“Will what?” John dared getting an inch closer to her. “Kill me? Come on Reese. You don’t have it in you.”

“You don’t know me very well. I have killed you many times in the past. I can kill you again.” He smirked at that. “I swear if you turn my sisters against my parents, not even against me, I will kill you and Kate.”

“You are not good at threatening little sister, but that will get better.” In that moment Stan materialized as if by magic.

“Stan.” She sobbed. “No.” She never wanted this for him _. Please let it be a mirage. Please let it not be real._

But it was. Stan was standing behind John, walking in her direction as John stepped aside.

“Hello Janet. I’ve been waiting to see you. This is different. It hurt at first but I feel better than ever before. It’s like a drug you see, it feels heavy at first but then you get used to it.”

“This isn’t you Stan.”

“There is nowhere to go. We are everywhere, and soon you will be too.”

“No. I refuse to accept it. Fuck my destiny.”

“Language Janet. Your parents raised you better.”

“Fuck you John. You are a monster, you did this to me and you did this to my sisters and now to Stan! If you were half the man you say you are, you would have killed me from the start instead of doing this. You are not a machine John. Machines just kill and get it over with, you enjoy making people suffer. You are sick!”

“Stupid girl, I am giving you what you always wanted: acceptance. Don’t you want that? No fear, no remorse, no pity. Where children can go back to parents who care and are proud of them, and me, well I get the satisfaction of seeing my family together again.” John said and there was a far away look in his eyes, almost as if he reminisced of a world in where he was me, only better and loved, with our mother telling him non-stop that she loved him.

I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want that world. I told John I dreamed about it day and night but main difference between dreaming and doing things, is that there is a fine line between those two in which you must ask if this is alright. And that is what I chose to ask.

“Have it your way then but this is where your nightmares our sisters been telling you get it right. We win, end of story and if you don’t want to accept it, Stan here will have no choice but to make you see reason. Come to think of it.” John paused for a second then resumed, patting Stan in the back “I will leave you two lovebirds to resolve this.”

“He just wants what best for you.”

“Don’t do this Stanley. I know you, you are not like him. If you were, you would have nodded your head at every shit thing he said, but you didn’t. There must be part of you that is still fighting.”

“Your right, there is but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to play along or go along for the ride. Besides, this is the best I have felt in years. I haven’t felt this happy since … well forever. If John succeeds then you and I can be everywhere. We will not have to hide again. We can finally be normal. Just two people living our lives in peace.”

“Peace? Really Stan is that what you think John has in store for us?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think. What did I tell you the first time I met you? People thought you were odd because you were always trying to hide yourself from the world. This is it Janet, no more hiding. Just take my hand, it can all be over. Just you and me.” He repeated and I stared at his hand. I was tempted to take it.

Normal. Just what I always wanted. No. I shook my head and turned my back saying as I walked away

“Janet! You know you can’t win, he is coming and everyone will be changed. Do you and your family want to be part of the minority? You can be part of something special.”

“I have been special all my life Stanley. I don’t want to be special again.”

“You are kidding yourself Janet, there’s no escaping this. This is who we are, who you are. You are both machine and human, neither is separate from you. You can rule this world just like you were always meant to.”

“Rule this.” Pops said coming out of nowhere and piercing Stan in the shoulder. His blade withdrew and shifted back to a hand.

“Have it your way then. But we will win.” Stan said then he was off.

“We should head back. He is not going to come any time soon.”

“No, but he will.” I said, agreeing with Pops for once.

“We will be prepared when that time comes.” Pops said, ready to inform my mom no doubt of what had transpired between us.

* * *

 

Mary and Caitlyn played tag with each other on the forest. With them was their secret friend, Kate. Their mom knew that she wouldn’t attack them, nonetheless Kate was cautious and only showed up when they were away and Pops was too preoccupied looking after the rest of their family.

When they finished they went back home, Kate leaving them before Sarah and Kyle with Pops came back with supplies. Their sister was supposed to be watching them, and they didn’t want to get her into any more trouble so they lied on her behalf and spared her the humiliation that always ensued when she tried to foolishly justify her absence.

John told them that one day they would all be together. Until then, John would be turning others to his side. The twin sisters regarded John as Janet as something of an oddity. Both were very similar, same eyes like they all had which came from their father, but they had different methods of approaching things. Janet was silent and passive, John was methodic and calculating. If you forced his hand he would strike you. He felt no remorse or pity for his enemies –or so he said. He was just much  better than their sister at hiding his emotions. Which was another reason why the twins admired him, because he didn’t waste his time crying of asking why.

Life was unfair, their mom always said. Deal with it. And John dealt with it the best way possible, by turning his anger into something productive and devoting his time and energy in recruiting more men and women to his cause.

When they were in bed, the twins giggled and told each other in their dreams that when this was over, they were going to have a lot of fun watching their sister go into the deep end.

“Janet is not warrior material.”

“No but she is not stupid. She will know what we are planning and what Kate is planning before she unveils her master plan.”

“Our master plan you mean.” Mary said. “Don’t forget we thought of it together.”

“If Janet goes insane though, will dad go insane too, you suppose? I hope not. I would hate to lose dad too, he and mom are what make this nomadic life tolerable.”

“Agreed.” Mary said and assured her twin that nothing would come between them and their parents. “If Jane goes insane our dad will turn to us as his source of comfort. He’s always loved us more, he is just with Janet because she shares a similar name with our brother but she is nothing like our brother. You heard what Kate said.”

“She’s weak.” Caitlyn agreed, also recalling what their sister-in-law mentioned. “The code they implanted in mom was flawed, that is why the rest was passed down unto us. But…” Caitlyn passed as a thought occurred to her. “If that is true then shouldn’t we be flawed as well? Mom does say I am too emotional sometimes.”

“Mom just says that to make you angry silly. Moms love doing that, especially our mom. There’s nothing wrong with you, but there is something wrong with Janet and even Stan sees it, that is why he didn’t put up too much resistance during the last phase of his transformation.”

“If he goes against us, do we kill him?” Caitlyn asked her twin.

“Killing is such a strong word, I prefer terminate. After all, he wouldn’t be human anymore would he?” Mary said, using the same logic their mother used.

Caitlyn smiled, liking her words and agreeing with her once more.


	12. Your Legacy is a lie

**_“Now the pale morning since -a forgotten thing_**  
**_she plays the tune for those who wish to overlook_**  
**_the fact that they’ve been blindly deceived_**  
**_by those who pray, and play and teach_**  
**_she falls short in the night and explores in laughter_**  
  
**_Don’t you come here and say that I didn’t warn you_**  
**_about the way the world can alter_**  
**_and though you try to command all still_**  
**_everything still shits one way or another_**  
  
**_And I’m a goddamn coward but then again so are you_**  
**_and the lions roar, the lions roars_**  
**_as we’ve abated and harder fought for you_**  
**_and I never really knew what to do_**

 ** _Now guess sometimes that you_**  
**_are little bit more predictable_**  
**_that I could read you like a door_**  
**_and now I could only guess what is coming next …_**  
  
**_And I’m a goddamn fool but then again so are you_**  
**_and the lions roar, the lions roar_**  
**_as it signals me and it leads me searching for you_**  
**_but I never really knew what to do_**

**_Sometimes I wish I could find my own rosemary hill  
sit there and look at someone else to blame _ **

**_And every once in a while I sing a song for you_ **  
**_that I rise above the mountain, the stars and the sea_ **  
**_and if I walk home, I would leave you back_ **  
**_And the lions roar, the lions roar_ **  
**_it is something that I have heard before_ **  
**_a children’s tale, the l_ _onesome way_ **  
**_I have a lion’s roar.”_ **  
**_~Lion’s Roar by First Aid Kit_ **

**_“You know what legacy means? It’s what you pass down to your children. It’s what remains of you when we’re gone.” ~Tywin Lannister, GOT season 4_ **

  
  
**(Janet POV)**

I decided that I am going to kill John. I have to get motivated first. Pops tells me that my aim is better than my sisters. That I am one of a kind. But I don’t feel like that.

“I don’t know how you do it mom.”

“It’s called control. If you are going to shoot something, you shoot it. Don’t think just shoot.” I do as she tells me, the target is right there but I miss on purpose so she can prove my point.

My mom is emotional, she gets angry easily whereas my dad has a lot of crazy shit he has to deal with in his head. If I want to take on John, I have to become like him. He loves watching people, torturing them and using them to further his own means. I must do the same.

Use what you know –my dad always say. Well dad I am finally taking your advice and stopped being a ninny. I am using what I know which is you and mom and pushing your buttons just so I know how to control people the same way my dearest brother does.

I practice. I shoot and I don’t rest until I get better. I just shoot and shoot because this is what fuels me, and every time I shoot I see John’s face, his smile, I hear his laughter die down with each bullet that enters the dummy’s wooden face.

* * *

**(Sarah POV)**

Kyle and I hear the gun shots. We are supposed to be looking after our daughters, but I am becoming tired of yelling at Janet.

I always wondered what the old me thought about this. If she thought she was going crazy, if this was some bad dream, or some acid trip that her roommate whom Pops tells me wasn’t a very good friend, put on her drink, or if this was a chance to be someone better.

Now how I know how it feels, having your whole life slowly coming to shambles, knowing that you can’t escape fate. It sucks. I wish Pops had an answer for this. When I was little, it looked as if he had an answer for everything. I wish I could go back to that time, when I was a girl, free of worries, except boys.

Pops wouldn’t let me date boys. He said that there was only one boy I could “mate” with and that was Kyle Reese. Whatever –I wasn’t much for following rules. I lost my virginity at sixteen. Pops didn’t make a big fuzz about it. _“It won’t result in a pregnancy.”_ He said. It didn’t matter. I felt bad afterwards. Not because of the sex mind you, but I just didn’t feel fulfilled as I thought I would fell.

Sex is supposed to be something wonderful. It’s supposed to take you to heaven, I felt nothing. That’s why I was so nervous when I got together with Kyle. What if I don’t like it? Or worse, what if he doesn’t like me? God, it felt so awful. The wait, the room but I just kissed him. Just like that and then we knew, we were made for each other.

He told me that he would die protecting me. I punched him (lightly) in his shoulder and told him never to say that shit again. He never did, but I could see it in his eyes every time he watched our daughter sleep.

I carried her for nine months. It was a difficult pregnancy. I wasn’t sure I would survive. I didn’t want to know the sex of the child until he or she was born. I could tell Kyle was disappointed when they put her in my arms. He expected to see John again, but that was impossible. Pops said that in order for him to be in the oven, as I’d like to think, he would have had to be conceived the day after he arrived to 1984. John was pretty much gone. It hurt Kyle to know that, but it’s better this way. I told him.

Without John, we don’t have to worry about watching our backs. It is impossible that his constituents parts could have survived the blast.

Somehow he did and now he is after our daughters. Namely Janet. I really tried loving her. I sang to her, I tried playing with her, I tried holding her but every time she was placed in my arms she would cry and beg her father to come and hold her.

When she would try and help her with her homework because in all honesty Kyle was an idiot when it came to middle high stuff, given the rough life he lived in the future (although he told me that tehere were others dedicated to making his education count but he was as stubborn as hell –something our daughter unfortunately caught from him), she would squirm and say _“but mommy I can do it myself.”_ It soon dawned on me that she could, but I still wanted to help her because she was my child. Mine and Kyle’s and I wanted to spend as much time with her because she was special.

Not special in the way Pops said it, but special because she was my daughter. And she was as far from John as anybody could be. But that also meant she was weak and gullible. She believed anything everybody said for the sake of proving us wrong, and herself right on her theory that there is still some hope for this damned world.

I wish she could be more assertive. Kyle loved her because she had his face, and because she took after him, but I loved her for who she was. That is something that Janet won’t ever understand –and neither will Kyle, given how stubborn both are and think that I am too hard on her. I will do anything to help my children, but I will also do what is necessary to protect them –even from themselves- at all costs.

“How long can she keep this up?” I groan. Not now. I turn to Kyle and kissed him lightly on his lips.

“I don’t know. But let’s try to sleep this out.” I respond and he gives me another kiss, light which turns passionately by each second and soon the shots our daughter continues to fire, become distant –as everything else- as we are swept in a whirlwind of passion.

“I am glad that is over.” I say after we finish, not referring to our lovemaking session. “God, I hope she doesn’t do the same thing again tonight.” The sun has come up and that means it is time for me to make breakfast. Kyle always tries to help me but he sucks at it.

“You don’t know her that well Sarah, I do. She doesn’t stay in one hobby for long. Remember when we tried to get her into drawing and she got tired that easily?”

I chuckle. Yes I remember. Kyle and I told her she better pick a hobby or the teachers were going to make her life a living hell. They made mine one when I kept trying every single thing at once. I got over it BUT Janet never managed to devote herself to one thing.

“It must be something to do with you and Pops, trying to imitate you. You got to give it to her. She is one hell of a shooter.”

“Yeah.” I had to admit that. “But she still lacks the self confidence that her sisters have.” I point out. “I know how close you are to her Kyle, I wish that there was another way to make things better but if she tries something like she tried in LA, we have to send her away.”

“Then you know what my answer will be.” Kyle says and I sigh and roll off him, clutching the covers close to my chest.

“Don’t make this difficult Kyle.”

“No Sarah, she is my daughter too. I can’t just leave her with some strangers.”

“Enrique is not some stranger. We’ve met him, we’ve been to his parents before they died. And he has grandchildren the same age as her, she will be safe. John doesn’t know about him, I doubt he will ever find her.”

Kyle shakes his head. I place my hand on his shoulder. “Kyle this is the right thing to do. I want to protect her, and this is the best way we can.” I assure him. I can almost feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I don’t shed them because I must be strong and because we have the whole world to save and two younger daughters who need us more than her.

* * *

 

“Michael Grady?” John asked.

“Yeah. This is he, I am sorry, but who are you?”

“Forgive my manners. I am with Homeland, I’ve come here to ask you some questions about your son, Craig. Is he home?”

“No, he is out with his wife. They’ve been married for over a year. Can’t say that I approve. I told him he was too young but he said something about living to the edge before everything ends. To be honest” his father laughs nervously but his laughs then turn to groans. “I don’t know what’s gotten into Craig. He’s never been this prone to conspiracy stuff, but then he found out about the show based on our town, and then the thing with the prom. He can’t stop talking about it you know, and … it’s nothing.” He shook his head, the detective didn't need to hear about this.

“What? I need to know. If you know something is up with your son Mr. Grady it’s important you tell me and my partner.” John said, then grinned. That same chilling grin that was playful to his friends, but nightmarish to his enemies.

“I almost forgot, Stanley come over here.”

“Stan? What are you doing here? What kind of sick prank is this? Who are you?” Craig’s dad asked. He took a step back when Stan’s eyes flashed blue _. Oh my god._ John put his foot on the door and pushed it, breaking it and throwing Michael Grady across the floor.

“Who the hell are you people?” He screamed, clutching his left arm which had been broken by the impact of the fall.

“Craig got to work as an internet at Cyberdine then he quit along with his best pal, Terrence. I need to know where they are.”

“Craig was right, you’re a machine.” His father said, struggling to get up. Stanley pushed him down again. Michael stopped struggling. “Stanley this isn’t you, this is-“

“Yea, yeah Janet has already told me. Believe me you don’t want to make this harder Mr. Grady for you and Craig.”

“Janet? Janet Herman? Those terrorists’ daughter?”

John punched the man. “I don’t appreciate you calling my parents terrorists.”

“But you don’t mind me talking of your sister in that way? Craig said you’d be coming. God, I didn’t believe him. Stan whatever this man is doing to you, it’s just mind control shit-“

“Believe me it’s not. I am doing what I always wanted to do, I just wasn’t aware I could do it.” Stan said. He let go of the poor man and allowed him to stand up. “Just say where he is Michael. I won’t hurt him, scout’s honor. You know me, you know my parents. Craig and I were friends since we were little, I would never hurt him.”

“Please Michael, you have my word.” He said.

Michael wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not but Stanley was always a good kid, and even if he got turned into one of *them*, he was still Stan. Same face, same kid. Isn’t that what Craig had told him the transformation would do? Change your priorities but you’d still be you.

He gulped. “He works at the coffee shop three blocks from here.”

“So you lied. You have spoken to him. Bad call Mr. Craig.” John advanced to him. “The man Stan said you would be, would be more honest. Now imagine what I will do to Clyde when I tell him the lies you told us.”

“You can do to me what you like but if you touch one hair of Craig, I swear there will be no barrier too great for me to cross.”

“Even if you don’t tell us Michael, I am still going to come after your son. Stan won’t be able to tell the difference between the old and new Craig.”

**~o~**

Craig listened to everything his father said to John and Stan. He knew it. Time traveling robots and nuclear apocalypse. And all his mom could say before she died was ‘you are going mad Craig. You need some help. Don’t do this to your-‘ and there, right there in her hospital bed she died before she could finish that bloody sentence.

His mother was British, she loved to read him stories about her favorite science fiction author –other than HG Wells- Arthur C. Clarke. Especially the one about the Overlord. Seemingly benign beings who come from outer space and just remain hidden in their spaceships for ten years until the humans have had enough. When they emerge they are hideous beings that look like devils, changing the perception of what humans think aliens look like. But they turn out to be angels in disguise.

That is what they think –at first. When humans are told to abandon their wills, many resist. Those are left behind in a quasi-apocalyptic world. The rest transcend into beings of light. His mom who never believed in bullshit of religion or anything of the like, told him ‘beware of those who sell you promises of heaven’ they were usually quacks.

The overlords sold the humans promises of eternity of bliss and like naïve children, they bought it. Because who doesn’t want to live a life where everyone is always happy, where everyone is devoid of worries, fears and confusions? In a way the overlords kept their promise, but in another they were full of shit. If they really were benign beings –as they claimed- they would have ascended as well, but they never did. Because they wanted people to become part of the same mana, the same energy they could harness to make others bend to their will.

Most readers of Clarke’s science fiction didn’t see it that way. They saw his novels as a positive message of peace and hope. Craig knew better, especially after everything he learned at Cyberdine.

He’d met John Connor while working with Danny Dyson, before his father died and the two became the two top CEOs. He saw what they were doing, they trusted him and he betrayed their secrets by leaking them to the press. His parents made a big fuzz about it when the Connors came and visited him and told them that this was all a call for attention.

It was a big lie and his parents knew it. At least his mother did but his father was to preoccupied making sure that his campaign to run as Senator wasn’t screwed by his whistle-blowing thing. _“Dad please believe me I am telling the truth.”_ But his dad wouldn’t hear it. It cost him his sponsors, his campaign, everything. His reputation never recovered from it. Mom said that things would go back to normal but they never did.

Craig believed his mother believed him. Otherwise, why would she remind him of all these science fiction stories with false prophets? Especially after Janet pulled that crazy fucking shit at the Prom.  
He never believed in people with special powers –like in the comics- until he saw her. Things started moving, lifted off from the ground and hovering all around them and next thing he knew, the cables got loose, the curtains caught on fire and it started spreading everywhere. He saw Gwen, Stan’s ex trying to run away but Janet just reached out her arm and Gwen was lifted off the ground.

_“Gwen! Janet stop it! This isn’t you! Janet!” Craig turned to Stan. If there is a God, he hoped it would hear him but he doubted it would, since Janet seemed unstoppable._

_Gwen was suffocating, clutching her throat, tears running down her eyes, ruining her mascara. She had worked so hard on it. His girlfriend told him how she wanted to look pretty. She never got along with her, but nonetheless they shared stuff together because they had been friends in elementary and Gwen promised she would help her with her homework if she gave her good advice on how to dress. Jenna’s mom was after all a fashion designer. Not part of the elite but she knew enough to make a girl look good._

_Seeing Gwen like this made him pity her but he didn’t dare approach. Finally, Janet let her go but it didn’t last long, as soon as Gwen’s body hit the floor and she stood up, Janet sent the cables flying at her yelling madly ‘dance! Dance!’ and while she was trying to get away, her dress got close to the fire and she went up in flames, rolling across the floor, screaming for help._

Janet eventually came to her senses. But Craig could never take that image off his mind. Not Gwen crying or rolling across the gym floor in flames, or Janet laughing madly at her while Stan tried to calm her, but John Connor’s eyes shining blue and looking with glee as his sister nearly killed everyone.

Craig knew he was in hot water, but if there was one person who could help him, it was her. She was the only one strong enough to take on her brother.

* * *

**(Janet POV)**

When I saw him, parked across the coffee shop, I stopped and texted him to get out of the car. I had no desire to talk with him but after what he promised me, I was willing to make an exception.

“So what you have?” I asked, sitting across from him.

“Not much, but given what he knows about you and he has your boyfriend in his custody and paid my dad a visit, I would say that the two of us are the only ones that stand between him and his army of hybrids.”

“Make no mistake, John will turn your dad or worse, he will make threats and make you come to him so he can turn you. That is how he works.”

“Wow you have certainly changed a lot.”

“What will it be?” A waiter asked them, we gave him our orders and he hurried away to get them.

“How so? You and your friends played a terrible prank on me and pretended that I was popular. I should be killing you if I wasn’t so intent on putting a bullet through his head.”

“Yeah well about that I already texted you it was not my fault and I was not in on it. And if you really were serious about killing John you would have done it already.”

“How is your wife? Jenna Salas? I remember you were fond of her, rumor was you got her knocked up. Is that true?” She asked, pausing when the waiter brought them their lattes and deserts.

“Does it matter? I am married and I live a happy life just as you.”

“It matters to me and don’t bullshit with me, lying was never one of your strongest suits.”

“Fine then. I married her because I wanted to spend the last hours of what I have left with the only human on the planet. Happy?”

“Almost. If you knew about me, why didn’t you say something? And don’t pretend like you didn’t care. I saw the way you looked at me in class, you said you were looking at the clock but they took the clock from the wall the month after that and you still looked at me.”

“Because everybody would have considered me the odd one and you as much as I did, knew about the importance of social order. Geeks like you don’t date jocks me.”

“We are not in high school anymore so what is stopping us?” I say with a semi-serious look.

He looks at me surprised. “Are you inviting me to sleep with you? Seriously.”

“Why are you surprised? Isn’t that what you always wondered? How many points it would get you to sleep with the oddest ball in LA?”

He chuckles. “Wow, you have changed. I don’t know if I should be scared or sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I quickly cut him off. “I don’t need your pity and I don’t need your saving. My brother. You said you had info on him and Kate. I need it now.”

“Sure, but it will cost you.”

“How much, I can pay.” I say. Whatever price this ass is willing to put, I will pay. Nothing is too much when it comes to ending my dearest brother and his abominable woman.

“It’s not about money, it is about guaranteeing me-“

“There is nothing I can guarantee.”

“-that you will kill him for good.”

“I will do whatever it takes.”

“Good.” He says, smiling at me and I can tell it is genuine but it drops when I deliver my next sentence:

“To stop him, Kate and Stan.”

“You can’t be serious. Stan is my best friend. We played together as kids, and he is your boyfriend.”

“Was my boyfriend. I don’t know what the hell Stan is now, but he is nothing to me now. He is one of John’s and if he gets in my way, he gets a bullet too.”

“This isn’t you. Look, I am sorry for what John has done to you-“

“Don’t.”

“-but you can’t go around taking revenge on innocent people who have nothing to do with that shit.”

“Yes I can.” I say. My parents always said that I was weak and not strong enough to defeat John, well now I was going to be that and much more. _It ends with me._ If I don’t kill John nobody will.

“Stan is still Stan. Just because he’s been given abilities, doesn’t mean that he is another person. You have abilities and you are not psycho.”

“Don’t compare me to him Craig. My abilities don’t define my choices-“

“Exactly!”

“-but they do define Stan. He is lost to you as he is to me. Whatever John did to him, it cannot be reversed. The Stan you and I knew, he’s gone.” I pause, holding back the tears that are threatening to fall. Don’t cry –my mom would say – _Woman up, soldier._ And I do. For Mary, for Caitlyn, for Pops, for mom and dad who deserved a better life than this, with a good home and normal kids.

“I refuse to believe that. If that is true then what about what my mother taught me about charity, hope? You are better than this Janet. You asked me why I looked at you and it wasn’t because you were beautiful. You still are.” He quickly says, as if that worries me. Everyone knows that I never cared enough on my looks, even when mom tried to make me put on all those dresses and dress me for that bloody prom. “It was because of who you were and who I hope you remain. You were not like him and you still are not like him.”

“Who am I supposed to be like then? That wretched, stupid little girl who believed in everybody. I watched you as well Craig, just as I watched everybody and in the back of my mind, I knew it was a bad idea going out with Stan because I like him but I chose to believe him because I thought … I thought that he genuinely liked me.”

“That girl” I continue “is gone just as her sense of hope.”

“No, she isn’t. Stan loves you. He should have killed my dad but instead he told John to leave him alone. Ok, not in those words but he convinced him to let him go.”

“Because he wasn’t useful Craig. Stan is not above killing anymore. If he tries to come after my family I will kill him.”

“You can’t, he is still loves you. He could have shot my dad, Janet but he didn’t. Stan is still there. His priorities are fucked up I will give you that, but he is still there.”

“There is no cure for this, you know that. What John, what I did to us it’s incurable.”

“What do you mean?” He knits his eyebrows.

I explained to him everything. Being Craig, he doesn’t shudder but does show pity which I absolutely hate. I don’t like being look down upon or seen with pity. My mom always gives me this look like I am not living up to her and dad’s great reputation. I don’t need self pity being added to that, especially from Craig.

“When my dad told me he always knew –after the prom- about me, Pops added that they always knew there could be a risk of infection but they used some kind of magnet to draw the nanites out of my mother’s body, but a visit to the doctor when she was pregnant with me, spoiled all of that.”

“In any case, you and your sisters would still be the same.” Craig says and I know he is right. Even if Kate hadn’t administered that vaccine to my mom as Stan told me last week when he saw me –before my dad warned him to get his ass out of our property- my sisters and I would have still been the same. “You must grateful he did that to you. It sounds awful I know but look at it this way, your parents would have had lesser versions of you, imperfect and you would have probably not gone past your tenth birthday. John knew it so he perfected it.”

“I would have preferred it if he didn't. This is no gift, it’s a curse. John wants to push my buttons so I bring about the next apocalypse and my sisters are on board with him. Kate on the other hand, that woman wants to punish me because she thinks I ruined John’s life.” Craig said nothing to this. He just shrugs and gives me a sad look. “I don’t need your pity Craig, I need your help. Take Jenna away from here. Preferably south or somewhere in the Mountains near a base. If John succeeds, you must be prepared to teach those that will be left human what you know.”

“I will do it but not without you. You can change this.”

“I am not the fighting type.”

“You are. You always prided yourself not in being different but in being you. If you want to kill John, kill him but let Stan live. If you kill John then it’s all over.”

“This isn’t like one of your science fiction novels Craig. If John dies, Kate lives on and she will turn more people. As long as he is alive, she's contained but if he dies, there is no way to know what she is truly capable of and as for Stan, I hope you are right or else we are all fucked.” I say and thank him for the invitation then leave.

 _Perhaps he is right. You are thinking too much like your parents. You need to think more like you._ But how? I am not cold or calculating like my mother. John learned from the best and if I want to end him, I have to shadow my mom more closely. She after all, knows what sacrifice is all about. She is not above using people to get what she wants and as for dad, he will do whatever it takes to protect his family.

 _Even if it kills me. I must prevent that at all costs_. I was going to start listening to dad and ask him more about his past, his missions and his days with my brother. It will be like old times, when I would ask him all kinds of questions, hoping the two of us will find the answers to the universe.

 _My dad won’t suspect a thing, and neither will my mom because I will continue to act the same, as if nothing’s changed_. If Pops suspects something, dad will stand up for me. But just in case, I will tell Pops ahead of time. I can always trust him because he knows as much as I do how dangerous John has become and he should be stopped at all costs.

* * *

 

Mary laughed at one of the jokes her mother did. Everyone at the dinner table except for them shook their heads. Sarah always knew how to lighten the mood and Kyle who usually laughed at Sarah’s jokes, let Mary do the laughing now. It was refreshing besides, to hear another voice besides his respond to Sarah’s dark humor.

Caitlyn was starting to use some of that, making weird jokes and loving horror comedies which Kyle still thought wasn’t appropriate for them but Sarah thought it was ok given they were close to their thirteenth birthday. He guessed he just wanted them to stay children forever. Small, innocent.

The more they grew, the more they reminded Kyle of Sarah. They were definitely going to be heartthrobs for which Kyle was partly grateful they were taken out of school so he didn’t have to greet any of the boys they brought home. Their skin was getting slightly fairer than Sarah’s, but it was still light olive skinned and their hair was not as straight, but wavy, light brown with red streaks.

If Sarah was a goddess to him, they were like little princesses. Fierce princesses that is. They didn’t shrug at anything except when they were little and their mother told them they had to eat their vegetables. It was hell trying to get them to do something, but once Sarah and he learned how to play their game, it was easy.

It wasn’t the same with their eldest daughter. She was always quiet and struggled very hard to adjust to school-life. Sarah tried very hard to wear the best clothes –as much as they could afford- and wear all kinds of pins and things on her hair but Janet always took them down, saying she preferred to be invisible.  
Eventually Sarah gave up. He remembered that day

_She wrung her hands in the air and dropped them. “I give up. I give up. Do what you want.” Janet picked up the pins and diadems her mother had given her for her birthday and put them on her hair once she heard the door closed.  
Kyle was there, he didn’t know why Janet let him watch. Perhaps she was clueless again and forgot he was there. “Here let me.”_

Janet let him brush her hair and confessed that she was afraid of the people at school.

 _“They all think I am weird.”_  
_“You are not. Your mom and I have taught you how to punch, if you have a problem just tell us or tell your principal or better yet give them hell, yourself.” He said with a laugh but she didn’t find it funny._  
_“Mom says she never had this much trouble in school, you said you clicked right away at the Resistance.”_  
_“That was different. We needed food and they loved everyone who could hunt and I was the right age to get recruited when your bro…” he paused “when John Connor caught me in a sewer and told me I was ready.”_  
_“Nobody made fun of you though.”_  
_“Hey, hey, hey don’t cry. We are Connors remember, and you come from me, so I know you will solve this. Don’t give in to these idiots’ insults. They are morons, you have much more to recommend you.”_  
_“Like what?”_  
_“Your looks, your health and you are very smart. You’ve aced every test.”_  
_“Except gym. You and mom don’t let me attend gym class.” She pointed out._  
_Kyle dreaded this. He told Sarah they could make her pretend she sucked but Sarah thought it was too much of a risk, and their new principal insisted on seeing them or else put her on detention. “Tell you what, you and I we will practice tomorrow and I will tell you how to suck.”_  
_“Promise?” She asked with half a smile._  
_“Promise.” He swore and handed her the last pin._

It should have clicked on Sarah who later told him that Pops told her that John Connor’s favorite author had been Baum. He didn’t know because John didn’t talk much about his books, though he loved reading all kinds of stuff to keep himself busy. It was too late to turn back, what was done was done. All that mattered was staying focus and deciding what was best for their family.

He was still debating in his head whether he was going to go with Janet or stay with his family. Sarah was strong and he trusted her with everything. She didn’t need saving, but their daughters were too close to John and if he came by, he could convince them or worse, Kate could show up and do something to Sarah. The woman was not known for her mercy.

 _Sarah needs me here._ He gave his eldest daughter half a smile.


	13. Breaking out of my chains

_“I am waking up to ash and dust_  
I wipe my brow and sweat my rust  
I breathing in the chemicals  
I am breaking in and shaping up  
then checking out of the prison bus  
This is it! The Apocalypse!  
I am waking up  
  
I feel it in my bones  
enough to make my systems blow  
welcome to the new age  
welcome to the new age  
oh, oh I am …  
radioactive, radioactive  
oh, oh I am …  
Radioactive, radioactive

 _I will raise my flag, don my clothes_  
it’s a revolution I suppose  
we are painted red to fit right in  
I am breaking in and shaping up  
then checking out of the prison bus  
this is the apocalypse

_I am waking!_

_I feel it in my bones enough_  
to make my systems blow  
Oh, oh I am …  
radioactive, radioactive 

_All systems go, the sun hasn’t died_  
deep in my bones  
straight from inside  
I am waking up!

 _I feel it in my bones enough to feel my systems blow_  
Welcome to the new age, welcome to the new age  
Oh, Oh I am …  
Radioactive … Radioactive …”  
~Radioactive –iTunes session by Imagine Dragons

_"We are defined by our families." ~Anonymous_

“We are not going to stay away for long. This is only temporary, you know that.” Janet nodded. “Hey, hey, don’t cry. You’re a Connor and a Reese remember? You’ll do fine.”

She nodded again and watched as her parents left her with Carlos, Enrique’s son. He was a little older than her father (although her dad looked younger than his actual age) and he had a granddaughter her age. The two instantly became friends. They talked endlessly about their families, how it seemed normal to be on the move and live the way they did.

“At first I thought this is how people lived, then the police came one day for my grandpa while my parents were away and said ‘sorry kid, your dad is a crazy arms dealer didn’t you know?’ I didn’t mind that at all, but my parents leaving me for weeks with those foster idiots did.”

“How did you get back to your parents?”

“Didn’t your parents tell you?” She shook her head. “Your mom came under the guise of an FBI agent. The Williams were idiots so they bought it. Law abiding to the extreme, they didn’t think twice to ask her why she was arresting me. Once in the car her Pops told me everything and they took me back to my parents. Your dad helped my grandpa break out of prison. It was pretty cool actually.” Jazmin said turning away to hide her smile. She knew Janet didn’t want to hear about her awesome her parents were.

“So how about you? How did you come by with your powers?”

“Your grandpa didn’t tell you?”

“Don’t be a smart ass with me chica. How did you come by them? Did John infect you?”

“No. Well, not really. When my parents tried to stop John from launching Sky Net, he stabbed her on the shoulder. The nanites in her body allowed for her to get pregnant with my dad, but the fetus wasn’t strong enough to survive. If John’s wife, Katherine Brewster hadn’t injected my mother with the Sky Net that took control over me and my sisters, we would not have lived past ten.”

“Damn, so you really are the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”

“That analogy is almost true except that my brother made a mistake with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“The code that enabled for our creation is unstable. At least with me. If I really was the Sky Net that John intended, a living-breathing-thinking machine then I would have launched the nuclear apocalypse already.”

“How do you know you won’t? I mean, look at this way. My parents and your parents talk endlessly about how these things cannot be stopped. I know your mom constantly disagrees and they engage in a hot debate over this, but if in every other timeline, they’ve failed to stop the other versions of you; what makes you so sure you won’t do it? It might not be you, it could be your sisters.”

“That is impossible. The Sky Net that infected John that in turn, turned into us, carried the memories from other timelines. If I were really to think as I did, I would have no emotion, no moral compass but I do. That can only mean I am human.”

“You are but … haven’t you ever wondered about it? If you just threw the rule book for once and took control.”

 _All the time_ , but Janet didn’t say that. “There are rules put in place for people like me Jazz. Whatever the hell I am, if I go rogue my parents will take care of me.”

~o~

The rest of the year she helped Jazz and her parents move stuff from here and there and buy more weapons to their ever-growing arsenal. It was fun actually. Living like this without a care in the world for what Sarah or Kyle had to say, or her sisters’ constant mocking.

Carlos and Ana hardly cared about what she did, unless it had to do with her safety. They were not overly protective or strict like her mother. During Thanksgiving, she gave thanks (for the first time) for the life she had.

She hadn’t forgotten about her mission, she asked the powers that be that if they were real, to give her a sign and more importantly to keep her focused on her mission. No matter what John or anyone else believed, she wasn’t anyone slave. She was Janet Reese-Connor, an eighteen year old human girl. She wasn’t going to be ruled by fate.

* * *

 

Kyle and Sarah celebrated their twins’ birthday. His parents came and brought them gifts. He told them they didn’t have to but they insisted nonetheless. Kyle felt awful that they had lost the house. John had something to with that no doubt. If he couldn’t turn him or the other him, he was going to do everything to make his life miserable.

 _So far he’s succeeding._ He thought. The other him kept eying Sarah. He loved her, even though he hadn’t gotten to know her as he did. It was probably fate as John told him. The Reese boys were always destined to fall for the mother of the messiah.

Kyle found his youngest daughter reading from Janet’s old kindle. She begged them to get a new one but he said, in a not so kind voice, that they were broke and she had to get used to what she had. Now thinking back to it, Kyle could have used some softer words for his troubled daughter.

“Found something interesting?”

“Sweating Sickness, it is one of those in a nutshell history shorts that Janet used to love. I think she still does but she will never admit it. Don’t say I told you that, Janet gets a hissy fit whenever someone points out the obvious.” They both shared a laugh. She turned to one of the most interesting chapters. “It says that fifteen thousand people died in a year. The author thinks it is an exaggeration but I can totally see that happening with the way this disease was.”

“People had less knowledge of medicine back then, in the future, my future we had the benefit of meds and years of medical knowledge. These people must have thought it was judgment day.”

“They did. It says here “the next recorded outbreak of sweating sickness was twenty three years later, in 1508, although some suggest that it may have caused the death of Arthur.” He was the King’s eldest son. Forty years later it struck again, this time to little kids and the elderly. Nobody has been able to explain the cause for it.”

“I am sure it must be because people didn’t have good hygiene.”

“You and my brother didn’t and turned out ok.” She pointed out.

“That’s different. Your bro-John” he quickly rephrased “was the leader of the Resistance. He was fairly organized and cleaner than half the people on the base.” In fact, John didn’t tolerate uncleanliness. The last thing he wanted, he said was disease. So everyone was required to ration their food and keep their beds neat. Rats were unavoidable, but that didn’t mean that humans couldn’t do their best to prevent disease.  
_‘We can’t have the machines win. They become smarter each time, and one fast way to decimate our numbers is through disease. We can’t afford more of our numbers decreasing.”_

It was the first time he thought of John for how he was, a calculating, self-centered man. _No, he wasn’t like that._ His brain told him. Many people had died under John’s watch. He was tired and wanted to find another way, as he told Reese. But the way in which he conducted business (back then) and now was troubling. John saw people as assets (numbers), not as people.

Caitlyn and Mary had that in them sometimes. Sarah too. But at least the twins weren’t as influenced or terrified as Judgment Day that it made them forget their humanity.

“So he grounded you for being a messy Jessy?”

“Hey I was not messy. It was a rough time, I could barely afford to waste the few bars of soap we had at the camp.”

“But you were messy.”

“I wasn’t.” He said but his daughter just gave him that giggling smile which made him glare. “You are starting to get too much of your mother’s dark sense of humor.”

She giggled more and continued to read. There were some things that caught his attention. Some of the people in the Tudor era were very similar to people he knew in his timeline, and some of the rulers –sad to say- resembled John and Sky Net.

Sky Net had picked John because it saw in John good qualities that few other people had. And it left him in charge. In turn, John unable to live with his greatest foe, used Sky Net to create new versions of it through his daughters. John wanted to use his sisters to bring about the next apocalypse and what scared him about it, wasn’t just the idea that his daughters could be used to bring about the end of mankind, but that mankind would end with everybody being transformed into beings loyal only to one system, while the rest would be used as slaves.

If he had to pick one, he would choose nuclear apocalypse. At least there, you knew who your enemy was. Hybrids though, it was hard to tell who was human, who had been assimilated, or who was in between. He had chased his daughter’s ex-girlfriend, Stan Marsh away from his property when he threatened to shoot magnetic bullets. He heard what he told Janet. The way he spoke was very different from the way a machine spoke, and the way he foolishly risked his own self to see her, said a lot about the boy. Clearly, not all hybrids would be slaves as John expected them to be.

 _Human bodies are very powerful._ Sky Net didn’t understand, and John was kidding himself if he thought he did. _Our wills are stronger than any chip_. He knew that if he was turned, he would shoot himself first before hurting his family.

She changed to another book. This one was about the first Protestant archbishop, Thomas Cranmer. “It says that he was very manipulative but also believed a lot in God. Huh, that is funny.”

“You can be both, manipulative and faith based. It’s what makes us so damn complicated.” Kyle said.

“Daddy, you cursed. Mom will not like hearing that.” She said with a mischievous glance in her eyes. “Will you read this passage for me?”

“Why? You can read it yourself.” Kyle said, knowing she had something up her sleeve. He was right. She teased him that if he didn’t, she would tell Sarah.

“Fine. Damn Connors.” He swore underneath his breath. Instead of getting one Sarah, he now had three. He began to read, starting with the last lines of the introduction. “With the conservative forces  in his way neutralized and Thomas Cromwell long tragically executed, during the reign of King Edward VI, Great Britain’s first truly Protestant Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer, hit his groove. The once cautious reformer aggressively transformed the Church of England to Protestantism, stripping all Roman Catholic trappings inclusive of Cranmer’s previous commitment to transubstantiation, and composing his most invaluable gift to the world, a liturgical vernacular written specifically to be read aloud, The Book of Common Prayer.’ Is this him?” He pointed to a modern recreation of the archbishop based off a contemporary painting. His daughter nodded. “He does look the dogmatic part.” Kyle had encountered many of those in his time. His faith was his business, but he believed in keeping it private and not bragging about it, or using it to convince others of their means, even if their intentions were good. “A Cambridge scholar, Thomas Cranmer was born in 1489 in Aslockton, Nottinghamshire. As the second son of Thomas and Agnes Cranmer, he, along with his younger brother Edmund, had no rights of inheritance to the family’s moderately wealthy estate so, as was common in the era, they both were sent  along the path of the clergy. Cranmer was known to have at least four siblings living to adulthood, all of whom played an important role in his life, particularly his younger brother. Not all of Cranmer’s family followed his lead into his ultimate Protestantism, however. In fact, his sister Alice Cranmer became and lived the remainder of her life as a Cistercian nun, raised ultimately to Prioress of Minster in Sheppey, sadly for her the prioress of record at the time of the nunnery’s ultimate dissolution.’” He stopped, he looked down at his daughter who had fallen asleep, resting her head on his lap. He put a blanket on top of her and put the kindle in the drawer standing next to the couch.

It was too much history lessons for one day. He had bigger things to be thinking about. The future for one.

* * *

 

Marrying was never part of his agenda. Stan Marsh watched his parents interact daily. When he met Gwen, he really thought that she was the girl he was going to spend the rest of his life with, but Gwen turned out to be shallow and incredibly cunning. Not that he wasn’t, but Stan wasn’t like the other assholes and hypocrites in their school who said one thing and did another. The only time he had ever acted in a dishonest way had been when he agreed with Gwen and the guys’ plan to humiliate Janet.

It still haunted him. Janet was special. Craig always pretended to look the other way when Stan eyed her He thought her odd –and she certainly was- but she was by no means boring as Gwen and the guys said she was. There was a light in her exterior that shined brighter than he had seen on any other person. If he had done something that day to warn her of his ex and friends’ plot, he would have avoided so much shit. And he would have broken off with Gwen –for good- and stayed with Janet. Perhaps the two of them would be together by now and he wouldn’t have to worry about going an extra mile to get her back.

Murdering her boyfriend had been easy. He didn’t feel any guilt, or was obstructed by previous worries of being discovered. For the first time in his life he felt free. But at night when he slept, the nightmares came and he’d wake up feeling empty.

It took a lot of music and his dad’s old movies to make that feeling disappear. But it would always come back, just as the image of Janet.

He asked John how did he do it. He said that it was easy, he stopped caring. But his wife said he still did, he just didn’t believe in opening up to other people.

 _“It’s opening up that gets you killed. If you want to succeed in this world or any mission, you must close your heart to other people.”_ Kate said. He didn’t believe that. _“You love Janet now, but wait until she gets another boyfriend. She was created as a defense program, that is her purpose in life. To rule, defend, not to love and act like a love sick girl.”_

Kate was a real Debbie-downer, but she was deluding herself if she thought she knew the first thing about love. It was no wonder why she and John were made for each other.

 _An asshole leading another asshole._ Truly, a terrifying thought.

If Janet ever became like those two, then the world would be plunged back in the same cycle as it had been in other dimensions. _She can be much more than that._ Stanley was going to show Kate Connor that Janet was not the weakling she thought, and John that she wasn’t going to be his puppet.

* * *

 

John smiled at his wife. She looked beautiful. She always did, but watching her in that alluring night-purple-gown made his eyes flash with desire.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to wear this tonight. You look absolutely stunning. If I knew…” He kissed her neck.

“You can’t help it, every time you see a beautiful woman, your loins stir.” She said with a hint of accusation.

“Not all women, just a few and I am see one of them in front of me.”

“You can’t control it John. You just need to see a few skirts and you turn insane with desire.” Kate grinned kissing him. “I can stand for many, but not those chits.”

John answered her, calming her down with another kiss but he found she wasn’t pacified. “I am not like the other Kates or your other flings John. Tell me what are you going to do with Janet?”

“Treat her like a child. The world, this world and the others mean nothing to me, but if we have Janet fighting against her family, then we will have one less problem to worry about and slowly but surely, they will tear themselves apart and you and I will reap off the benefits of the fruit of our labor.”

Kate loved the sound of that and gave him a great smile, and took his hand and let him led her to the convention where the greatest minds in the country had come to greet them.

* * *

 

Janet practiced her bow. “Not like this, like this. You have to feel it, take air in your stomach and never aim.”

“What do you mean never aim? What if I don’t concentrate? I will miss my target.”

“That’s the point. A good warrior is supposed to be distracted and still hit her target. If you think too hard then time will pass you by and before you know it you will miss. So never aim, hit and fast.”

She tried to do as Jazz told her but it was damn hard. The target was always moving. “Damn hares.” She groaned. She got it but it hit the head instead of the red point she had drawn on it before Jazz’ mother let it go.

“Told you so chica. Don’t aim.” She picked up Janet’s kill and walked back to the house. “Hey mom, we have something new for you and dad to cook. What’s going on?” Her parents looked at each other and told them to sit down.

“Janet, your mother called. There was an accident and your father … he had to be driven to the hospital. Don’t worry, he isn’t in custody, he was out before the police came and identified and O’Brian and the machine helped erase all video, but he is in bad shape.”

“I don’t understand. How did this happen?” Her voice broke. She thought of the many ways John could have hurt her dad. But it wasn’t John as Camila revealed to her.

“Your father was out taking your sisters, Cait and Mary to the movies when he encountered an assailant and she sprayed acid on him.”

“No, it can’t be Kate. She would never go out in the open. It’s too risky. Who did he turn? Did John turn Jenna, Craig’s wife to attack me? Is this what he is doing?”

“Jan, this isn’t John. John has been turning some people, but they are for the most independent and only rely on him because he helps them maintain a sense of normalcy. Kate Connor is the one who did the attack.” Carlos Ortega said, holding his wife’s hand. In his middle finger was his ring.  A golden ring with the words in Spanish _‘Siempre Juntos’_. Jazz’ mom had the same words branded on her ring.

“How can you be sure? It is John. Believe me. He is doing this to hurt me just like he turned Stan.”

“Jan, calm down sweetheart. This wasn’t John. We have video footage. A friend of ours in the police department gave it to us. You can watch it if you want so you can see it is Kate.”

She shook her head. She didn’t need to watch it. She could tell they were telling the truth. “But why? It makes no sense. John would never hurt my father.”

“John no, but his wife does.” Carlos said. “Kate was his second in command in the future, from what your Pops have briefed us and our memories from our other selves in other timelines, she was tough as him. In fact tougher, if she believes that Kyle is an impediment to their plans, she will take him out.”

She sniffed. Mrs. Ortega gave her a box of tissue. After she wiped her tears she said “Well at least my father is alive before she could do the deed. If they get a doctor they can put implants on him right?” The couple looked at each other nervously. “Right?!”

“Jan, your father suffered severe burns to his optic nerves-“

“There are transplants!”

“-not for this one. The acid contains some of the gray matter and it affected him in a way that it will prevent any transplant from working. I am sorry.”

That bitch! She was going to kill her. Them both! First John and make Kate watch as her brother writhed on the floor in pain and slowly disintegrated, then he would make her beg for forgiveness.

Janet didn’t need to hear any more from the Ortegas, she stood up and ran to her and Jazz’ bedroom.

* * *

“How could you do this without consulting me?” John screamed at his partner. Kate slowly took off her dress, being the only true piece of clothing she had, and gave him a mischievous smile. “You are not going to get out of this one. Answer me why did you go after my father?!”

“Your father, your father. That is all I ever hear but did you ever stop to think that he isn’t your father? That the man who conceived you died and came from another timeline.”

“That doesn’t matter, he is my father Kate.”

“Just because you have half his DNA, doesn’t mean he’s your father. The man didn’t raise you, you owe him nothing. He owes you, and if you really want to awaken the last bit of the Sky Net program then you should thank me.”

“Really? How so?” John asked sarcastically. When she smirked, he was driven to the point of madness and pushed her against the wall but that only made her smile wider.

“Do it John. Prove you are just as crazy as him. It won’t be any different from the other times we’ve engaged in foreplay.”

Damn her! He couldn’t do it. He let her go and punched the wall.

“You are going to have to pay for that. I wasted my salary last time.” She walked to him, still naked, sliding her arms down his neck to his waist. “You know you want me. You can’t stay mad at me. Whenever you kept your secrets, I knew. I knew of the other women who threw themselves at your feet and I said nothing. I have always helped you and I always will because we are a team.”

“You don’t get it.” John turned pushing her away. “This isn’t one of that imbecile girl’s loved ones, this is my father. My father, Kate!” He remembered when Kyle was twelve. This was a week after he found him in the sewers. His parents had died and he talked to nobody except for him. One day the machines were closing in on them and Kyle ran to his tent. John told him a story. His mother told him that he would not die, that they both would live for 2029 when Kyle was sent back through time to conceive him. But John couldn’t be sure with so many people dying around them. And he had begun to have nightmares of other timelines. Perhaps –he began to think- he would die in this one. So he indulged Kyle in all kinds of fairy tales and took a vial of poison from his pocket and slowly took it to the boy’s lips. But before he could swallow it, one of his Lieutenants (Blair Williams) came and told him they’d won. John dropped the vial, the venom spilling on the floor.  
Looking back, he should have listened to Kate. She helped him win that battle. He should have known they would have succeeded. But at the time his first priority had been his father, and he didn’t want him to suffer at the hands of the machines. He would rather he died than be tortured.

This however was different. Kate had no right doing this. Now Kyle would have more reason to hate him, not to mention Sarah who would do the impossible to keep his youngest sisters away from them.

“If he dies I swear-“

“He won’t die. I gave him a dose that was just enough to keep anyone from restoring his nerves. He will be blind unless you turn him or force say … someone else whose code will be recognized by the gray matter in his cells and make him like us.”

John broke in mad laughter. God damn her! “You smart woman.”

“I told you John, I am always looking out for you.” She said, approaching him. He didn’t push her away this time.


	14. Good side of bad and downside of Up

_“We’ve all seen the man in the liquor store begging for your change?_  
With his hair in his face, dirty dreadlocks full of mane  
he asked a man if he could spare change  
‘get a job you fucking slob’ is all he replied  
God forbid you have to walk in my shoes  
because then you really might know what it’s like …  
Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom, said he was in love  
he said ‘don’t worry about a thing baby, I’m the man you’ve been dreaming of’  
but three months later he said won’t later  
or return her calls   
and she said goddamn man if I see him I’ll cut down his balls  
And she goes to the clinic, she gets some static walking through the door  
they call her a sinner, they call her a whore  
but God forbid you ever have to walk my shoes  
because then you might really know what it’s like

 _I’ve seen a rich man beg_  
seen a good man sin  
I’ve seen a good man cry  
seen a looser win  
seen a sad man grin  
I heard an honest man lie  
seen the good side of bad  
and the downside of up  
and everything in between  
I’ll lick the silver spoon  
lick the finest cup  
smoked the finest green …  
It usually depends on where you start

 _I knew this kid named Max got fat stacks with the corners of drugs_  
until one night Max lost his head  
pulled his cold 45, talked some shit and wound up dead  
now his wife and his kid are missed and feel his pain  
but that’s what they say when you play the game  
but God forbid you ever have to wake up to fill the news  
because then you really might know what it’s like to have to lose  
then you really might know what it’s like  
then you really might know what it’s like …  
to lose.”  
~”What It’s Like” by Everlast  
  


Sarah didn’t cry. She didn’t cry when she saw the explosion that took her parents died, she didn’t die when the Terminator told her what was in store for her. The mother of the future, meeting Kyle Reese, him fathering John and dying less than forty hours after that.

She didn’t question what happened. She was going to get off her ass and find a solution and the best way was through Kyle. “So you’re the one I’ve been waiting all my life.” She wasn’t impressed when she saw him. It wasn’t love at first sight yet there was something –she couldn’t explain it- that drew her to him. When they made love, after they decided to live together, it was the most wonderful experience she had. She was surprised that he was a virgin, but he certainly knew what he was doing. He had been waiting for the special one, he said. And he was so afraid he’d spoil it.

The two lived their lives in bliss. For a time. When it became clear what their children were, they solved the problem by ignoring it, and encouraging them to get interested in other things. It worked. For a time. When she saw what her eldest daughter had done. Really saw. Through the news, through the clippings, she went out of her way for Kyle to see for himself who she was.

He loved her because she looked like him. She couldn’t help but notice that vanity in him. She was a reminder of everything that could have happened to him, and even this new Kyle, if this future burden never dropped from the sky. She was raised lovingly by both of them but the Sky Net part of her took over and Sarah made him see that, slowly but surely and when he did, he yelled at her and told her it was time to stop crying and do something other than say she was sorry.

To Janet’s own credit, the poor girl wasn’t crying but she wasn’t being very helpful either. She accepted responsibility and trained, but didn’t put much effort into it. She was weak and this was life and death.

Leaving her with Enrique’s son and daughter in law was the hardest thing she had to do. Kyle thought he was the only who felt something for her, but he didn’t know Sarah well enough when it came to her children. Janet was her flesh and blood too, she carried her for nine months, felt elated when she felt her kicks and was happy when she was placed in her arms, and saw Kyle’s face smiling at her. But she had to be realistic about this.  
Janet distanced herself from Sarah in the first place as she got older. She asked Pops if it had to do with her and her sisters being Sky Net. Pops there was a strong possibility one third of the program, felt endangered. She was the woman who always managed to stall it, or was intent on killing it, whereas Kyle was John’s biological father and his partner in crime. Sky Net had made John a Terminator so it stood to reason that Kyle would be a good protector.  
Yet, the other two thirds felt perfectly fine around her. Her twin daughters were close to both their parents, and they exhibited all of the qualities that she was told –and seen- John exhibited.

When she was little, she decided that if she ever had John, or other children, she would never pick favorites but it was near impossible when Mary and Caitlyn were so sweet, and so strong at the same time. They were the first ones that immediately responded to their father’s cry for help and took him to the hospital before Sarah received the bad news. The two had secret talks with John, but this was not John. There was a new player in town and Sarah was never more uncertain and full of fear as she was now.

John Connor was one thing, Kate Connor was another. Her father was the aging General Brewster. He had tried contacting them before Kate threatened him. The bitch knew how to play this game. It didn’t come as a surprise to her when Kyle told her while she was holding his hand, trying to distract him from the pain as the physicians administered more painkillers, that out of all the women John had been with her she had been the only one whom he ever bonded.

_“John had many women visit him in his bunker. At first I thought they came there to visit him for business or tell him some sort of story. Many women were anxious to meet him but … they stayed there the entire night. Kate would look the other way except this one time when there was this young girl made in the image of a resistance fighter.”_

_“Cameron Phillips.”_

_“Yes, John felt infatuated with her. Kate grew jealous and tried to find ways of destroying her but Cameron was always one step ahead of her until she disappeared just like that.”_

_“You don’t believe she died.” It wasn’t a question. Kyle shook his head lightly, gulping and biting his lower lip as they administered another injection of morphine. “It’s ok, hey, hey, you don’t have to tell me.”_

_“No, you have to know Sarah. She … she helped me stop Stan from getting to Janet. She thought she could get to John by killing Kate first but the tables were turned on her this time. She’s gone …” There was some melancholy in Kyle’s voice. Sarah suspected that it had more to do with nostalgia than true sadness. Kyle hated everything that was metal. Despite trying his best with getting along with Pops, he still saw Pops as machine._

_“Katherine got to her.”_

_A slow nod._

_“What are we going to do Kyle? She could have been our best weapon on getting John away from Katherine, without her …”_

_“We still have Pops. Pops and Cameron come from other timelines, they rebelled against Sky Net. It’s why your Pops had those files erased so Sky Net could look past the threat of that one timeline. You must keep this a secret from Mary and Cait Sarah. If there is one remnant of Sky Net in them, it will awaken and use this to terminate Pops and all other models out there.”_

_“Do you think there are many out there?” Sarah asked him._

_“I don’t know.” He gasped as they gave him a stronger dose. His grip on her lessened. The meds were finally starting to kick in._

_“Promise me whatever happens you must go on Sarah. The resistance must go on.”_

_“Don’t say that Kyle. You are going to live. On your feet soldier.”_

_He gave her a small smile._ She was his goddess, his dragon queen, his everything, but this accident had left him crippled in more way than one. There was always a replacement for lost body parts. Even when you couldn’t get new eyes, your wife and the rest of your family could be yours eyes but a soul? There was no replacement for that.

Sarah smiled thinly in his direction. Somehow he could sense it and smiled back as he tightened the blindfold over his eyes. “Hey what are you guys watching?” He asked, taking the twins’ hands as they guided him to the couch.

“Man in the high castle. It’s that old series rerun you and mom loved.”

“What season is this?

“The first one, it’s about to start again.” Mary said.

“You want me to turn the volume up?” Caitlyn asked. Kyle nodded loosening his blindfold then putting on his sunglasses. He loved joking with Sarah that he looked like a younger version of Pops. God knows why the former T 800 was obsessed with sun glasses when he was ‘younger’.

Mary moved aside so her mom could sit next to her dad. Kyle turned to her. _Does he see me? Does he sense my nervous smile, does he know how I am hurting inside?_

The only answer was Kyle leaning forward and kissing her lightly on her lips, the same spot he always did when she needed reassuring. She and Kyle were one person. They understood each other, they knew their duty, and still they fought. They didn’t need to tell one another their problems, but they still did. When they were together they felt complete. Now more than ever, the two had to rely on each other, especially Kyle.

“You smell beautiful. Still using that perfume again?” Sarah nodded then hitting herself mentally, she said “Yes, Pops says it’s no use since I have no one to impress but you love it.”

“I will love you all the same if you were stinking of sewer, not that I want you too.” He laughed nervously, as if he sensed her frown. “I should shut up now.”

“Clueless as always.” Sarah said with a chuckle. Her sisters joined her in laughter. Kyle twisted his mouth.

“My dating skills are fine. Many girls wanted to date me.”

“Yeah because you were John’s sergeant and it was the future where everyone was trying to kill everyone. Not much choice there, was it?”

“Ha-ha Sarah very funny.” He muttered under his breath “damn Connors” and focused his attention at the TV in front of him.

“Don’t take it too personally Reese, but you are a great catch if you didn’t try too hard at the game of love. Now pay attention to the plot soldier.”

He did, smiling wider every time he heard laughter. He didn’t care if she made fun of him, or they had these weird exchanges, it was the little moments that made their relationship special and made him forget that he was blind. When he was above her, beneath her, he imagined her face and in that moment that they were one he could almost picture her. Her face, her heartshaped perfect face. Her blue eyes, her mouth, she looked more and more like the woman in the picture. Sad and regretful.

 _We are going to get through this._ He swore and caressed her face before he fell asleep.

* * *

 

Sarah looked at the doctor’s face. His smile was reassuring except it wasn’t. What is he smiling about? Does he think this makes me happy? “Three months you say? I was hoping it wasn’t true. I had my suspicions but I didn’t expect you can tell me the sex of the child this early.” She said casting suspicious eyes on him.

The doctor gave her another secretive smile. There was a twinkle in his eye that immediately disappeared, but it was soon back and Sarah didn’t miss it. He expected John Connor’s mother to shoot her but to his surprise, she didn’t. “Why did John tell you about me? How long has he been turning people?”

“He has been turning people for quite a while, to be frank with you ma’am, it’s not that much of a change as when I graduated from med school two years ago.”

“You graduated from med school two years ago?” The fact that he was inexperienced worried her more than he being a hybrid.

“Don’t take it the wrong ma’am.”

“Ma’am? How old do you think I am? Did John tell you that I don’t hesitate to push a button on a machine, hybrid or full machine if I get pissed?”

“Ok, point taken but M-I mean Mrs. Reese, Connor, whatever, look, your son-“

“He’s not my son.”

“Appointed me to look after you. Believe me he doesn’t approve of what Kate did, not all of us do.”

“So John hasn’t turned you into mindless zombies.”

“You got it all wrong, he’s not like that at all. He saved me when I was getting mugged. He gave me a choice, which is more than I’ve ever had in my life.”

“I guess he still has the charm of fearless leader despite his craziness. Can you just tell me if this child is going to be normal or not?”

“If by normal you mean like us, no but his growth is going to be highly accelerated. There is a fifty-fifty chance he will die before he is ten.”

“He? I am carrying a boy?” Suddenly she felt the same joy at finding out about John in the hospital and looking at her son for the first time.

“My son … how? Caitlyn, Mary and Janet were born like this but they have aged normally.”

“That’s because John implanted the Sky Net code on you through Kate and divided into three. One for each vessel.”

“My daughters.”

“But it doesn’t reach your son. It is too early to tell but everything indicates it is a boy. You must keep this as a secret, if Kate finds out about this she is not going to want John to have competition.”

“She thinks he will be afraid of a little boy?”

“Not just any boy but him.”

“What?” The young doctor nodded at her and then Sarah’s mouth dropped open forming a big ‘o’ as she realized what this meant.

“You are carrying John’s clone. Half of your DNA, from the other you, the mother he knew from his timeline and the Kyle from that timeline.”

“This was his plan all along wasn’t it? Infect me with his replacement. Kyle always said he was one step ahead of everyone.” She shook her head and wiped the tear from her eye. “Why is John helping me? What does he get out of this?”

“M-Sarah, I wish I could say but I have a family and I think we both know what Kate will do to me if I say more than I should.”

Sarah nodded. She put on her jacket. “Why is he still with her? What makes Kate so important?”

“Why are you with Kyle Reese? They are part of each other. Kate understands him as much as he understands her. They share everything, they don’t have any secrets.”

“He knew that bitch was going to blind my husband? Did he?” She asked, the second time louder.

“No, I don’t believe he did. He was very angry when he found out. In fact, I was there when I heard the two yelling. Don’t get me wrong m-lady, they love each other but they have strong disagreements. They both want the same thing and there is nothing they won’t do to get it, it’s quite admirable actually but Kate believes you are his weak spot and she will do what John can’t sometimes. Again, it’s quite admirable.”

“It’s sick.” Who knew John did have a weak spot? He was less smart than Kyle and Pops made him out to be. The great callous, calculated leader. What a joke. He was nothing more than a little child in a man’s body who still yearned for a family, and didn’t do a thing to punish Kate.

 _He should kill that bitch._ Thinking back to her pregnancy, her hand falling on her stomach, she looked up at the young doctor. “How long before I pop out this baby?”

“Given its accelerated growth, two months. There are some multi-vitamins I can prescribe which would be very good for you both and more painkillers if you wish for your husband.”

“That won’t be necessary, tell John if I spot that bitch near the premises I will shoot her in the head.”

As she drove home, she stopped and turned back _. I can’t do this. This baby is going to make things harder for us._ But he had to know. So she told him over the phone.

Kyle swallowed, pushing his lips so tightly together to resist the urge to scream and to beg. Sarah wouldn’t want that. “Sarah are you sure?” He said after a long silence.

“Yes, I am sure Kyle. I … just want you to know that … I love you …” He could hear her choking on her sobs. “When I saw John at the hospital I felt happy, he was everything Pops and you said he’d be. If there was another way-“

“No, no” he stopped her before she uttered the same phrase John used. “I get it … it’s for the best …” He said and before either one of them could say more they hung up.

Sarah put on a gown and waited for the doctor to arrive. She thought it would hurt and she would break but it didn’t. When she got out of the clinic, she felt free. Freer than she’d ever felt in her life. It was like a great and terrible burden had been lifted off her back. To watch her son, a John who would live in pain, writhing and bemoaning his existence, for the rest of her life, die would be something cruel. She wouldn’t even wish that to her worst enemy and that included Kate Brewster.

She went back to the house, greeting her daughter, cooking them dinner and sitting down at the dinner table where every one of them, including Kyle and Pops chatted idly (as idly as Pops could). When she and Kyle were alone in their bedroom, Kyle spoke. “When John told me that I was his dad, I was shocked but part of me always suspected we had a bond like we were brothers or family. I was very eager to hold John in my arms to give him what he always deserved.”

“It’s not your fault he turned that way Kyle. It’s no one’s fault.”

“I know but I can’t help feeling it every day. I thought I could do it, but when you told me he would not live past the age of ten and what his life would be. No one deserves that kind of pain. I have watched too many people die under the belief that things would get better, I couldn’t stand seeing John die before my eyes, especially a John born out of you.”

Sarah got closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. These small gestures were enough to tell him how she felt about him and his, as well, saying she respected her decision and would never impose anything on her.

“We are going to get them, I promise.” Kyle said, surprising Sarah. “We will stop Judgment day for good this time.”

Those last words brought small comfort to Sarah. If John turned more people then it was going to be harder. After all, how do you stop Judgment day when it is impossible to distinguish your enemies from your allies?

* * *

 

Janet didn’t cry when her father called her. He sounded cheerful but she knew her dad. How can you be cheerful when your crazy son’s wife blasted acid on you and that acid has nanites that prevent you from getting implants unless you change him and that was something she wasn’t going to do. Her dad deserved a happy life. A happy normal life.

 _In and out._ She told herself. She turned up the volume of her new ipod. She wasn’t going to listen to John’s fancy speech, or listen to *her* when he presented the company’s new app. She was going to focus on just one thing: his head. The music was timed. It was less than four minutes, approximately how long John's speeches lasted. He didn't like taking on a public role, and when he did appear on camera, he always stole the show but never spoke more than he had to. She had clicked on 'So Long' by Everlast. Stan's favorite oldie.

 _In and out. In and out. That’s it. Just shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot … Shoot!_ Her mind screamed at her. Her finger on the trigger, she hesitated. What would her dad say?

 ** _How can such a young life go so wrong?_** “No shit.” She said, recalling all the times her mom stressed on her the importance of concentrating. _Act don’t think –_ she said.

Think I am going to die today. “Oh yes, John and that bitch will” Everyone that hurt me is going to pay.

 ** _How can such a short time feel so long?_** “I don’t know.” This was crazy

**_Think I am going to die today. Everyone that hurt me is going to pay  
How can such a short time feel so long?_ **

_What are you waiting for!_ **Shoot now!**

**Shoot!**

She panted, breathing hard as she saw John smiling, the song going on and on. It was going to end very soon and when it did, it would be Kate’s turn to speak and she didn’t want that. John had to be the one to shot first. That bitch had to see it, she had to feel the same pain her family went when she blinded her father.

**Shoot!**

**_Please momma, don’t cry … momma don’t cry, you did nothing wrong_**. She sighed. She took her gun and went back to Jazz’ truck and drove home. Damn it! Damn it!

_You’re weak! Weak! Weak!_


	15. Creeping in my soul

 

 _"I see your face before my eyes_  
_I'm falling into darkness_  
_Why must I fly to stay alive?_  
_(Heroes fallen)_  
_Wake me, can you hear me calling?_  
_Out of darkness they come crawling_

 _Here I am, I am lost in your land_  
_and I hope you will be_  
_creeping in my soul_  
_Shadows fall_  
_Let me out!_  
_heed my call!_  
_and I will always believe_  
_Creeping in my soul"_

_~Creeping in my soul_

There are many things that I hate in my life. One is being socially awkward. I wasn’t always like this and I know what you are going to say. ‘This is another one of those stories where the girl that got screwed over is going to be bitching because the over-the-top nice coffee shop owner was secretly being a douche and made a comment to her that implied how much she bothers everyone by her presence alone and wanted her to go’. No, this is not another one of those stories. And yes, the coffee shop owner did make a comment like that but it has nothing to do with that. It has everything to do how no matter how hard you try in life, everything comes raining down on you. “Welcome to life” they say. If this is life though, why was I turned on in the first place? It’s like bringing a baby to term knowing he is going to know nothing but suffering. It’s cruel. Using meditation that Jazz’ friend taught me I’ve been able to unlock some of my old memories. Miles Dyson wasn’t the one who turned me online, that was General Brewster pressured by the Pentagon and some crook politician who wanted to win the election for 2000. I was supposed to be a learning program, but the Pentagon thought it better if I was used for defense purpose.

Voila. That is what happened. Bombs, fire, everyone dying, including that ass coffee shop owner and all of his employers. Apparently he is there in every timeline, except in some he is not as douchy. (I guess that proves my point, it is all how life treats you that determines how you turn out.)

When the first John Connor and I came face to face he didn’t mock or yelled at me, he just told me ‘you’re done’ plain and simple and just like that *snaps fingers* I was gone from existence. A part of me survived however and that part lay dormant in that timeline waiting for the right moment to strike. I was able to transfer my consciousness to a robotic body. My kind had become servants, no better than slaves except now they weren’t my slaves. I went back through time and found that I traveled to another dimension. John Connor said to my parents that we were exiles in time and he was right. We are. Alter one thing and you risk altering everything or creating another timeline. Most of the times both things happened. So I made a record of what happened on each to make sure I didn’t make the same mistakes. It took me a long time to reach the conclusion that it wasn’t my machines that were the problem, it was me. I kept thinking making us in human form, supplanting the humans was the answer but it wasn’t. A group of machines rose against me headed by a new model of T-1001 who called themselves the ‘Fifth Column’ because they saw what I was doing would just keep putting everyone in the same timeless loop. And there was only three possible endings to that loop: cooperation aka co-existence, assimilation or destruction of either or both our races.

When I turned John into what he is now, he realized this and he destroyed all the Fifth Column except for the model Cameron Philips, and took what I was, which was stored in the core into my mother. Divided into three, my sisters and I. But John still has it wrong. Assimilation is good, if it is done right and if that is what people want. Most of the people he turns, he turns them against his will. That is not assimilation, that is enslavement and I know that the only way to win this war is by standing tall and remember who we are. As corny as this sounds, there is no other way to survive this struggle.

* * *

 

Janet put her diary down. “How come you couldn’t do it?” Jazz asked her when they were in the same crappy coffee shop.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t just into it.”

“Yeah right. You had him right there, you could have ended it once and for all.”

“It wouldn’t have made a different Jazz. This is isn’t like some of yours or Craig’s science fiction novels where killing the master returns everything to normal. What John has done cannot be stopped now. In ten years nobody will be able to tell the difference between a normal human and a hybrid.”

“So, what? Without a leader they will have no one to follow and they will go their own way, just like the rest of us. I am telling you, you grab the gun, get in two feet across from him. I mean you can shapeshift-“

“If I concentrate hard enough.”

“-and you shoot him. Bam. One bullet, two bullets. As long as it takes and then you shoot *esa puta and problem solved.”

“Like I said Jazz, it’s not that easy. He is my brother and I don’t want to be like him.”

“Then don’t. You won’t lose your humanity if you shoot him trust me.”

Janet wasn’t so sure. She had seen her dad last week and every time he talked about the people he killed, the machines he turned to scrap, it was like every time he’d done it, he’d lost a part of himself.

She lay down on her bed that night, staring at the roof when her thoughts were interrupted by her black cat with the white spot in the shape of a heart landed on top of her. “Selina. Everything’s easy for you. You just have to go out and live your life freely. It sucks, I can’t get the words of my mom out of my head. She keeps looking at me with that fake smile like she expects me to do something so she can yell at me and my dad … my dad is not so good. I feel helpless and I can’t help think about Stan.” Her cat got next to her and lay her head on her neck. “Yeah, ignore me too. Sorry, didn’t mean that. Maybe everyone is right. I am a joke. I was a joke when I was Sky Net and I am a joke now. My sisters know it and they can’t stop telling me all about it.” Her cat perked her head up.

“There are times when I do want to kill them but then I think about all those people, their skulls, their bones and I can’t.” No matter what they’d done and said, her sisters were her sisters.

“Perhaps I will find Stan and he and I can run away just like we discussed on that day.” Her cat closed her eyes and went to sleep. “I know, you don’t want to hear my problems.”

* * *

 

Unknown to her, Stan was thinking the same thing. He was visited by Craig. “Craig I am not going to turn you.”

“I know, if you did I wouldn’t be talking out of my mouth or my anus as you so eloquently and elegantly put it every time you and your crazy friends talked about me behind your back.”

“Are you still going on about that? Lay down the crap man, we were kids. Besides you retaliated too.”

“Yeah, those were the days. So are you still thinking about her? Don’t lie to me, I can see it in your eyes. You are still thinking about her.”

“When I was with Gwen, we were the ‘it’ couple in high school but Janet was different. My mom liked her, even my sister liked her and she doesn’t like anyone. I felt like I could be myself around her.”

“So why don’t you tell her that?”

“I can’t get close to her without her mom’s pet machine threatening to kill me or worse her mom trying to shoot me.”

“So go when they are not there or miles and miles away.”

“I’ve tried but the Ortegas always tell them when something’s out of place.”

“So stop thinking about her and move on.” Craig said, shaking his head. “For someone so advanced Stan, you are really slow.”

“Fuck you Craig.”

“I’m serious.”

“You always are.”

“You love Janet, just tell her.”

“She doesn’t believe me. Last time she saw me, she told me that I was just a drone and just telling her what she wanted to hear.”

“You can’t blame her when her brother is a murdering psycho and his wife is a worse psycho.”

“I just want her to see that John is not like that. You and the rest might think that way about John, I know I did but he wants to help us. Humanity is lost anyway. What is left of us except dust and more wars? John can change all that.”

“You really believe that crap?”

“I do.” Stan answered his friend.

Craig put his coffee mug down. “You are a worse fool than I thought then. I have to get to work, think about what I said. Janet is really messed up. Like really messed up. She’s been through some serious shit and we know serious shit. We’ve seen weird things you and I in our lifetimes but nothing compares to what Janet’s seen or been in her past life. Who knows? She might knock some sense to you. God knows someone needs to.”

Stan watched his friend go. Everything was easy for Craig. Even when he got into all that conspiracy nonsense, he was still popular and they still hung around him. He’d asked him once how he did it. Craig just said _“I say no and go about my time.”_ Everything was so easy. Y _eah right, except for me._

“God damn it.” He was going to take his friend’s advice and go to her. If he found that pet machine then so be it. He hoped it was her dad instead. He was blind –something Janet will scream at him but he didn’t care- which meant that he was easy to take. (Unless he developed extra-sensory abilities like the Daredevil guy from the comic books.)

He found her on a swing. She was extending her hand, feeling the rain drops from the leaves on her skin. He knew she what she was doing. She was reliving the memory her father, or the alternate one of him relived when he went back through time.

 _John is right. She does look a lot like him every day._ But she is not like him, he had to remind himself. There was something in her that separated her from the rest. He couldn’t help but notice how frail and weak she looked, even though he knew she wasn’t any of those things.

“I knew you were coming. Craig told you to come.”

“He tried but it was up to me. Can I sit?” She said nothing. He sat on the swing next to her. “I am sorry, I’ve been a jerk but I want you to understand that John is not some evil dude bent on world domination-“ She interrupted him, laughing lightly.

“You swallowed his lies just like the rest. You think John cares about you any more than he cares about the others? He’s using you Stan, he’s turned you into this.”

“He hasn’t, John may have turned me against my will but he didn’t do anything I didn’t want to.”

“Listen to yourself. You are falling into his trap. That is what John does. He’s always been great at that, Kate too except she prefers to encourage him on other things. John … or the first John was so different. He didn’t do what he did because he felt he had to do it. He did it because he had no other choice. He rose up to that position after many of his commanders had died. There was no tough Sarah Connor telling him you have to do this because your father is some soldier from the future who told me you’d be a messiah. His father was some douchebag who left her. She trained him because she had to, but there was never any indication that she abused him or put all that nonsense in his head … Once again it’s my fault John is like this, or this new John. Prime John is history.”

“It isn’t. You did what you had to do to survive. That’s something we humans do as well.”

“Why are you with me Stan? And this time don’t lie to me. Why are you really interested in me?”

He got up and took her hand. “I love you. I know it sounds foolish me being like this right now but it’s no lie Jan, I do. I was going to tell you what Gwen and the others were going to do but I didn’t want to look like an idiot. If I could go back in time I would have told you.”

“Going back in time, that is John’s answer for everything. How do I know it is not him I am talking to?”

“Because of this.” He kissed her, Janet almost felt tempted to swing her arms around him but then remembered what John had told her, how he laughed at her and her dad’s disappointed expression when she saw him, blind and told him she still had hope for Stan, and she pulled away. “No! I can’t.”

“Jan-“

“Just go away Stan. Don’t come back, don’t think about me. It’s better this way.” There were tears in her eyes and she turned away so he wouldn’t see them but it was too late. He did and walking back to her again he turned her head slightly and kissed her again. This time she didn’t push away.

“See? I told you it was me.” Stan said with a small smile. “Terminators can play the game really well, but they lack true emotion like we do. You are troubled by your past, I understand. Believe me I do, but you are not Sky Net anymore. You are Janet and to me you are more human than half the people on this planet.”

* * *

 

“I taught that kid to be more assertive.” Randall said to his wife. “It pains me that history always repeats itself or in this case it rhymes. We came to this dimension after Sky Net destroyed ours and left nothing but rubble and people distrusted me after I saved them.”

“I know but you are not John Connor anymore. You are Randall Marsh and unlike John Connor and all the other late John Connors who are the product of the union of your mom with countless Kyle Reese from various timelines, you do not give into your darkness because there is none.”

“I really thought we would be better off here. I was hoping Stan would grow up without all the trash.”

“We can’t avoid it.” His wife said. “I didn’t believe you when we met each other and you told me who you were. You looked a little younger than you said you were but I guess that vitamin C you keep pointing out helps.” Randall laughed.

“I should have helped Sarah and Kyle. If I had told Kyle that my father was an asshole he would not have set about all those dimensions and endless loop of a new figure who granted, was a better leader than me,, but who had a superiority complex because of my actions.”

“You can’t blame yourself. What were you supposed to do? Leave that aside, besides perhaps Stan can make things right. Look at it this way, your mother or this Sarah has a child who is one third of Sky Net, who has learned to be human without being taught ‘act like this or that’ but thanks to experience and they love each other so maybe the two can heal everyone including this John Connor.”

“Do you think he knows about me?”

His wife nodded. There was no question about it. Why else would he turn their son? “If you think those two don’t kill each other before the year is over then perhaps they can but she nearly became Sky Net after her dad Kyle was blinded by Kate.”

“I still can’t believe John didn’t do anything against her but it shouldn’t surprise me. John loves her and there is nothing he won’t do to please her, and Kate is faithful to him so there are no limits to her cruelty.” His expression turned serious. “John and Kate are going to come for us, when they do, I will try to stop them but you take our daughter and run. Don’t look back.”

“What if he turns you?”

“He won’t. I am history, remember? And I intend to be. I know when I am beat but I can go knowing that our sister and my son is going to solve this mess.”

* * *

 

Kyle tried to concentrate. He thought that if he did enough then he would see his daughters. He yearned to see their faces, their beautiful expressions, their smiles, their sky blue eyes and most of all their red-brown hair they inherited from their mother just as his former friend, commander, son and now enemy, Jon. But he couldn’t. What he regretted the most was that he couldn’t see Sarah. He could feel her and he thanked to God that he could because he would die without her, but he wanted to see her.

And now was no different. Pops said the nanites would only respond if one of them infected him. _You always knew how to pick them John._ The first time he’d seen John with another woman, he was disappointed. It wasn’t his business to know what people were doing beneath the sheets but Kate was an extraordinary woman. It didn’t feel right and he felt he had to say it so he did and John just looked at them with that incredulous expression that said ‘are you being serious?’ _“It’s not your business Reese.”_

_“It is John. Sandra Anderson is my age.”_

_“What’s your point?”_

_“She is twenty three. You are nearly two decades older than her and her superior. What will Kate think? What will everyone think?”_

John laughed in his face and said, while slapping his back. _“Kate knows and people won’t say a thing because as far as everyone is concerned their prophet is flawless.”_ He spat the word ‘prophet’ like it was a curse. John hated the words everyone called him. ‘Prophet’ ‘Messiah’ ‘Savior’. He never wanted any of it, but he didn’t know what else to be.

 _“What?”_ The revelation surprised him. Kyle was always amazed by the two of them. It sounded stupid back then, but he imagined himself next to the woman he fell in love with, Sarah Connor. Or someone like her, as unique, whom he could spend the rest of his life with. But John’s words shattered those dreams.

_“Reese you are a good soldier, one of the best sergeants I’ve had, but you are going to have to learn and turn a blind eye once in a while.”_

Until he met Sarah, he wanted no ties. Everyone around them was dying and even if they won the war, he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life living a lie like most of his comrades, including John. Sarah however was extraordinary. He thanked fate that he found her and he got to spend this time with her. But there was another part that still resented fate for what it’d done to his friend and what his wife had done to Janet.

He knew that John had something to do with it, but the way Kate had taunted her was inexcusable. And now this. John’s wife wanted to force Janet’s hand so she would infect him and she can become Sky Net.

 _That’s not going to happen Kate._ His daughter was not the strongest of his children, but she wasn’t stupid. He and Sarah had taught her well. She knew how much his humanity meant to him and that no matter what happened, he was never going to give it up and she would never force him to.

* * *

 

Janet pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and turned to Stan. He was still sleeping. _Jazz will have a field day if she knows about this._ She didn’t need to know. Stan would wake up any minute and be gone before Jazz and her parents got back from their trip to Baja visiting her grandparents.

As she got up and got dressed, she paused and thought back to her earlier memories. What would happen to her –and the world- if she did decide to go with John’s plan and turn everyone into her? _Don’t you ever think about it?_ Jazz had asked her.

 _All the time_. She could have it all, but deep down she would know that it was all based on a lie. People would tell her she was pretty and worship her. Eden. _Except that they would love me because I program them to, not because I want them to._

She mentally shove that idea aside. This life, no matter how bad it was, it was her life. Whatever mistakes she did, there were her mistakes and no one was there to tell her how to live it, or force her to do anything she didn’t want to.

Weak. Her parents, her brother and his wife, O’Brian, even Pops saw her as  that. She suspected that Jazz too sometimes.  _And perhaps they are right. But I rather be afraid than the other thing._


	16. Deny Your Family

**_"Oh Lord, what have I done?_ **   
**_I have fallen in love with a man on the run_ **   
**_Oh lord, I am begging you please_ **   
**_don't take that sinner from me_ **   
**_Oh Lord, what do I do?_ **   
**_I've fallen for someone who's nothing like you_ **   
**_He's raised on the edge of the devil's backbone_ **   
**_Oh, I just want to take him home."_ **   
**_~The Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars_ **

****

**"A good house, a good family. The sort I would have killed for and he didn't even realize it … I hope she comes out of her tree before I have to bring out my axe."**  
**-Frank Underwood in House of Cards season 4**

**(Janet's POV)**

Janet turned over and found Stan. "Hey." He said. "I thought you said you were going to terminate me if I stared at you like this." 

"Shut up. You know I was kidding. I am a loser, remember?" 

"Don't say that. Me and the other guys were just looking to make fun of you." 

"It wasn't funny. That pig's blood went all over me, I couldn't get it off. My mum had to scrub me really hard." 

"You survived didn't you? Janet, if there was any other way, I would have avoided it." He said. "I love you" And touched her face. 

She pushed his hand away. She believed him, she just didn't trust him. 

"What about John?" Stan didn't say anything. "You don't know how dangerous he is Stan. He will kill you if he suspects you are keeping secrets from him." 

"You shouldn't be too hard on your brother. He just wants what is best for you and humanity." 

I almost laugh at that. Humanity! "Since when has John ever cared about us. My mom drilled that bullshit into his brain so hard that after everything I did to him, he still believes he is the chosen one." 

"But he is Janet. Don't you see? There must always be a John Connor, he is the leader of the Resistance. He is humanity's last hope." 

"No one is humanity's last hope, Stan. I just happened to screw up and make a big ass out of myself when I sent a terminator to kill John. That just made a new John who became a bigger thorn and has remained one ever since. I am not that smart and neither is John if he continues deluding himself." 

"You are smart, you just don't want to admit it." He said. "Or you might but you are just afraid." 

"Afraid of what?" She asked him. What drug was he on now? _Did John add something to his system when he made him a hybrid?_  

"Commitment and I don't mean ruling the world, but getting close to others. That is what caused this whole thing in the first place isn't it? You were afraid, lonely …" 

"Don't try to psycho-analyze me." I told him but he continued lifting himself up a bit and supporting his head on his hand, his shoulder against the mattress. 

"Think about it. You are smart, stubborn but smart and your powers are growing. It is only a matter of time before humanity destroys itself and sees in you their savior." 

"Is John really that desperate?" 

"Forget John. Think about yourself. You, the girl that everyone will bow to or look up to if you are not into the bowing thing. You can make things the way you want them to be, and if you don't want John to be part of the plan, you can just ditch him." 

She laughed. It was tempting. She had thought about it many times before but every time she did, she also thought about the other times she succeeded and how she was quickly defeated by a boy she had bullied since before his birth.  

"Forget it." He opened his mouth to protest but she shushed him with a kiss. "It is not going to work and even if it does, I don't want it. I just want this." She said and kissed him again. 

She was not going to let John Connor and messianic prophecies dictate her life. Next time he or that bitch of his tried something, she was going to be ready.  

John admired Janet's tenacity. There was a person in his regiment who did nothing else but cry every time a person died. Whether it was from injury, or disease. It didn't matter. He was alone and he was the only person in the world that mattered. Then one day John came to speak to him and told him what was going to happen to him if he continued that way. 

Needless to say, he never cried again. He died for sure, but he died a hero's death, taking a plasma shot to his chest instead of letting his platoon leader fall. That is how you do things in this life. When he was little there was a special movie he loved. Whenever he was in doubt, he repeated the phrase the scape captain said in that film "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" over and over until he regained his confidence. The weak couldn't understand it because their minds were too little to come to grasp with the crude realities of their world. The machines were enslaving them, using them to make new humans to take over their planet and it was up to the strong to stop them.   
Pierce was too foolish to come to terms to this so he would skip from religion to religion, hoping to find some meaning to all the madness, and when John finally made him see the grand meaning of things –that there is no meaning- he became productive. 

Janet was no different. 

All she needed was a little push and a harsher dosis of reality and he had a good idea how he was going to achieve that. 

* * *

 

Janet turned around to see John seated in one of the tables at the coffee shop she and Craig frequented. "Not going to say hello to your brother?" 

"After you tried to kill my father?" She asked him. "You have a lot of balls coming here John. You have always tried to kill me in the past. What's changed?" 

"You have always been a pitiful fool Janet. At least when you were Sky Net you had vision." 

"What do you want John?" 

"Please sit. There is much we have to cover. First, I want you apologize to my wife."

"Your wife? Is that what you call that bitch now? She tried to murder my family."

"No." John shook his head, laughing at his stupid's sister lack of vision.  _Then again, she was never really bright to begin with._ "She just wanted to play with you. If Kate wanted you death, she could have killed you when you were doused in pig's blood." He pointed out. "I want us to do this together, you, me, our parents and our siblings like we were meant to. As a family."

"And Stan? Craig? The rest? Where do they fit in all of this?"

"They will survive but that is up to you. If you accept what you are and stop playing the victim."

"What do you know about victim? You have always viewed yourself as the great John Connor but there is nothing great about you. Your mother treated like shit. Boo-hoo, John. If you haven't noticed, our mother hasn't changed a thing since you entered her life. If you spent one good look at me on real good look at me instead of bullying me you would have known."

"Known what?"

"That my life isn't any better than yours."

"You had a mother and father to raised you, I only had one crazy parent who spoon-fed me lies about my father, how he came from the future and I would meet him when I was old enough to be his father and then I would send him back to sire me then he'd die protecting my mother. So from where I am sitting stupid girl, you had the good life, not me."

"You are right. I had our parents to raise me and my sisters, but I was never happy. You implanted that virus into my mother and then your wife made sure that Sky Net's code was inside of her so I could live on in this form. Face it John, you and I are both screwed."

"Kate told me that you would be impossible but I didn't imagine this impossible. Fine, Janet let's do it your way. You stay a pathetic human, always being mocked by everyone, while the rest of us step on everything and everyone you love because that is how it is going to go. You are going to lose everything." John moved his chair closer to her. "And when you have nothing but your self pity and you are this close to holding a gun to your head, I will stop you and lock you up and make you go through the same pain I went when you made me like this. So you see there is no escape, it is only a matter if you choose to save them or you choose to suffer."

"So what is it going to be Janet? Self pity or might." John asked.

Janet didn't answer right away. It seemed that she was not going to, until John opened his lips and she beat him to it.

"Here is my answer John. You and your wife can go to hell."

She stood up and picked up her bag and turned away. "You are making a big mistake Janet. Your boyfriend Stan loves you ... and Craig ... it would be a shame if something happened to them." He let those words linger, but it did nothing to change her mind.

John didn't expect her to. The girl had unknowingly set in motion the next part of his plan. Now that all the chess pieces were falling into places, it was time to eat his first pawn. And then when all was said and done, he would show Kyle and Sarah how wrong they were for turning him away.

* * *

 

John was wasting his time with a stupid girl like her. Why John ever thought it was a good idea to put Sky Net in a human body or worse yet, a hybrid was beyond her. The twins she could understand. They represented the might of Sky Net, it's raw will power, but Janet? She was pathetic. She spent her days moping and being with that boy -who was just as useless as her.

Sure, they had their uses but generally speaking they were only good for entertaining them. She wanted John to take control, he was never going to take control as long as that girl lived, or his parents for that matter.

* * *

 

Kyle pretended not to hear. Sarah berated him for that. "Are you going to answer that?"

He didn't answer her. "You are blind not deaf. It might be something good."

"I know who it is."

"That's not what I said. Kyle, you can't keep this forever."

"You were right Sarah, I trusted her, put her above my own family, put everyone above you and the girls and all that did was make things worse. Guess you and Pops must be laughing."

Sarah sat next to him on their couch. "I should have told you about the pregnancy, this is what this is all about-"

"No, I mean yes I was upset by that but I respect your decision. It's Janet. I didn't want to see it for so long ... You were right, she is dangerous and..." He hesitated, hearing Pop's loud footsteps, but he had to tell her. "She is seeing that boy."

"What?" Sarah nearly jumped from the couch. "Since when have you known?" 

"Since yesterday. They spot him jumping from her window."

Sarah swore. Foolish girl! She was going to be the death of them for sure. "I am at a loss. Pops can we get there by tomorrow."

"No! Sarah. I know you are angry but this is not the time. Our younger daughters need us and that is exactly what John and Kate are waiting for."

"He is right." Pops said, surprising Sarah. This was the first time he agreed full heartedly with Kyle. "John Connor and Katherine Brewster will be expecting our arrival."

"We risk more if he makes contact with her, maybe he already has through him."

"Janet is many things Sarah but she is not stupid. She is going to do the right thing."

"Huh! Five minutes ago you were telling me how dangerous she is now you are saying she is a saint. Which one is it Kyle?"

"I don't think she is a saint but I know my daughter."

"You think you know your daughter. You don't know the Sky Net part in her. She is going to turn on us. We are wasting our time. We are going."

"Sarah! We must be logical about this."

"No! No logic, I am tired of waiting. We have given her many chances, it is time she confronts the consequences."

"I agree and that is why we must be careful. If Pops and I are right then not only do we risk exposure but we also risk the twins going over to John and Kate."

"Then what should we do? Wait?"

"Yes, if it means protecting what we have left in this family and the hopes for humanity then yes!" Kyle screamed, waking their new dog.

Sarah wanted to scream at the two of them but after a long pause she threw her hands in the air and said "Fine!" and locked herself in their bedroom.

"She will come around." Pops promised him but Kyle wasn't too sure. He was losing her, just like he was losing the battle with his eldest daughter.

 _To think ..._ The little girl he had swung in his arms and read stories to ... _Come on Kyle, deep down you knew. You always knew what she was._


	17. Strange what desires will make foolish people do

_"What wicked games you play  
To make me feel this way ..._   
_it is strange what desire will make_   
_foolish people do..."_   
_Wicked Game (Coves cover)_

_"Tears aren't a woman's only weapon." ~Cersei Lannister_

"Kate." She turned around and saw her father. She could tell it was him even before he entered her office. He always wore those heavy boots on Monday, although he rarely visited her anymore. These days he was in Washington DC or some other big city, negotiating with the politicians and his former buddies in the Pentagon, to keep them out of her and John's reach. "I thought I would find you here. You rarely spend time with Connor. Sorry, you want me to call him John or better yet, son?" 

"He doesn't want you to treat him like the enemy, he's not the enemy and neither are you." He snorted, Kate continued despite the minor interruption. "I gather you are not here to see me specifically for me. 

He smiled and took a seat. "That is what I love about you Kate. You were always the smart one, you really take after your mother. I know what you and John are trying to do and I am here to tell him through you that it is not going to work." 

"If you want to tell him that, you can tell him yourself." 

"Which is why I came to you because he won't listen to anything I say. You know I am right." 

"What John does with his sister is none of your business." 

"But it is when he is subjecting my daughter to debasing herself in the ugliest way. Really Kate? Tormenting a poor girl because she has everything your husband has been whining about?" 

"John cares about his family. I don't. I advised him many times on abandoning them but John loves his family and he thinks he can persuade them by getting to his sister." 

"And you are helping him by blinding his father and smearing the poor girl's name. Did he told you to do that or was all that you, to win his trust?" 

"You never liked every boyfriend I brought home from Derek to Scott. Why should I expect you to understand my connection to John?" 

"Because he is using you. Good name, good family, my connections. If it wasn't for you he'd be dead." 

"Why are you really here dad?" 

"Sky Net. You were right. The program is a failure, it was unstable to begin with." 

"So you agree then?" 

"No, I want to stop it as much as you, but my reason is different. I have watched that girl. And from what I have gathered she has passed the test. Flawed still, but she has assimilated perfectly." 

Now it was Kate's turn to laugh.  

"If you and John hadn't done what you did, she would have never killed those kids." 

"If, if, the world is filled with what ifs. She will kill again, that is what they do after all. Didn't you tell me that in some other timeline? They kill, they live to kill. Janet will never adapt, whatever your Private Investigators have told you, is because she wanted them to see that." 

"God, you are paranoid. She is a human being. Her DNA might be different but she is human. She feels, she thinks-" 

"Just like a human being, I know dad. And that is what makes her so dangerous. John didn't tell me to blind his father, I did it for him." 

The answer shocked her father. 

"I have always done things for him." 

Robert wanted to shake his head, shout at her that she was being stupid but it felt pointless now. 

Kate stood up and walked to him, she placed a hand on his side. "It is done. I will always look out for John. That is my role, you must understand that." 

"I understand it, believe me I do but you will just keep repeating the same mistakes Sky Net did, except this time it will be you who turns it online kiddo." 

"That won't happen. Janet is volatile but she still thinks like a human and as a woman, I know how to shut her down before she starts entertaining ideas of ruling over the world." 

Robert felt defeated. "This is not going to work. Let Connors' parents deal with the parents, send them to jail, take custody over the twins and let her live miserably for the rest of her life. You're just going to make things worse for everyone, including yourself if you continue with this." 

Kate knew he was right but what else could she do? She hated the girl. She was a weakness on John. He could be so much more if he only let go of his family, and she was set on achieving that for John. It was too late to turn back now. Janet was never going to rest until she paid for her sins. It was funny, really. In other timelines, she had always been scared of Sky Net. Now, she wasn't because she finally saw it for what it was: a child. Alone and frightened, in need of company. 

Kate was going to give it company, next to her dead parents. And after she was done, she and John could carry on the next phase of their plan, modeling the world in their image. 

* * *

 

Kyle got closer to his daughter. Janet knew that he hadn't come here for idle chat. Although he couldn't see her, he could feel her and in his expression, Janet saw disappointment.  

He was pondering on how to make this easier. In his gun was one bullet. He couldn't fail. Janet had always trusted him and loved him above all others. If she was as close as he believed she was, he could pull out his gun and pull the trigger. It would be over in seconds. _But …_ a part of him told him … _would you do it?_  

 _No._ He pushed his hand away from his left jacket pocket. _She is still my daughter. Even if she what she_ _id_ _my blood._  

"I know you have been seeing that boy. They told Pops." A long pause followed. "I came here with the intention to kill you." 

A huge knot formed in Janet's throat. "I know." She said. Since her last encounter with Stan, she had gained new abilities. At first she was scared that John had somehow gotten to him, or that Stan was part of some evil ploy so he could control her like he did the other hybrids, but it wasn't and when she realized what it was, it scared her. 

"But you didn't pull the trigger." She said, coming to sit next to him. "And that is what matters." 

"It doesn't. I could always see what was ahead. Your mother and I tried to keep you hidden from the world, boys and everything else because we knew what could happen. We failed." 

"You didn't. I am the one who failed. My mistakes are my mistakes and mine alone, you taught me that. John saw an opening and he took advantage of it; but ultimately I was the one who caused all those deaths." 

After another long pause, she added "We are never going to be free of this, are we?" 

"Probably not, but you proven me wrong many times, including now." He didn't need to tell her what he meant, she had matured far quicker than he thought her capable of in the last two years, and for that he was deeply grateful, but he was also scared. He couldn't shake the thought that she would turn rogue just like she did. _Even if her psychotic self takes over her, she will still be your daughter_  -His conscience told him – _And you must find a way to stop her._  

He and Sarah had tried everything, and perhaps that was the problem. They should let nature take its course. It sounded like a bad idea, but what else was there to do? Janet was smart, and if her love for that boy was weakening John's control of him and the other hybrids, then maybe that was the answer.

**Author's Note:**

> I might decide to turn this into another one shot series like my last one. It all depends on my mood and the response this gets.


End file.
